Confused

[Guest Pyx]

Hi, I'm Pyx. I recently joined this forum.

I'm really confused about what I am.

I really, really want to be a boy. Sometimes I feel an overwhelming hatred for my body- why am I female? I wish I was a guy. I wish my chest was flatter (I think I might try binding it), I wish my hips were flatter, etc. (Not sure if this is helpful info, but I'm still attracted to guys.)

Growing up, I was considered a tomboy (and I still am one). My mother once joked that I should have been born a boy, and I agree with her. I dress in baggy clothes that hide my chest and generally make me more androgynous, and I like it that way. I like it when people confuse me for a boy. When I play games, I usually make at least one male character, and I've found out that I'm more comfortable with a male avatar.

I've been longing to be a boy ever since I hit puberty. Before then, the differences between boys and girls was rather small in my mind, and I didn't realize that puberty would change me that much. Then my period hit, and I was angry. My ire, confusion and annoyance increased as my body started changing, and it was at that point I started dressing like a guy. I hated all these changes to me, further widening the gap between me and my ideal body.

What am I? Is this just a phase, or am I FTM?

Apologies for the messy post. I just sort of spewed out any information that might be useful.

[Guest Haidos]

Hi there Pyx,

i have a pretty similar story to yours and i'm FTM but only you will be able to work this out.

you will get advised to see a gender therapist, as did i, but it took me along time before i took that step.

until you're ready to take that step i say talk about your experiences, the options with transitioning and above all read up on information.

if you've come looking for confirmation then my guess is you already know the answer.

we're all here to support you so feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.

[Charlize]

Hi Pyx, Haidos said it. Get some help and a Gender therapist GT is the place to go. i've started there and its already helping. It is up to you and there don't seem to be anythings we can rely on except for our own feelings. As to being attracted to boys.....i'm mtf and i like girls. I consider myself a lesbian. By the way welcome to Laura's. Its a great place to chat, explore yourself and to know you are not alone.

Hugs, Charlie

[Guest angels wings]

Welcome to Lauras , Pyx .

You will find many here who will relate to ur story . We are a friendly bunch pl don't hesitate to ask ??????????? As many who are traveling the same journey as you will be able to answer most of them . Again welcome

[Guest Pyx]

Thanks everyone for your kind replies!

If I come to a point where I'm comfortable with speaking someone face to face, I'll try out a gender therapist or simply a close friend/confidant.

Once again, thanks for the advice. I think I'm coming to a conclusion, so hopefully I won't need the therapist.