Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Am I Androgynous ?


Guest DEW1995

Recommended Posts

Guest DEW1995

Hello everyone ! My name is Eli and i'm not specifically new here, seeing as how I already posted on the CD forum, but I am new to Androgyny ! Now, i'm not and may never be fully understanding of my position, this post is simply self discovery oriented. So if you have the time, could some of you post how you came you your conclusion of Androgyne, perhaps some background that made you think so ?

It all started when I was fifteen and discovered I liked to CD. This began my self search of my sexuality and who I am as a human being.

First I think I'll list some of my background that could relate to Androgyny. I have always been soft and feminine in nature like a woman, and yet aggressive like a man. I can't specifically identify with either because I enjoy both given the circumstance. What I mean by that is at times I can seem like any other guy, yet others I might be more feminine. It all comes down to what I'm doing. Sometimes I'd prefer to watch action flicks with gore, others I would like to cry over a romance. I understand it's common for people to enjoy both, but the difference is that I never attributed it to my sex. I equally enjoy both for what they are worth. It just feels to me that I generally have both traits of woman and men. It's hard for me to explain it. For example I don't look at clothing by sex any longer. I like clothing based on itself regardless of sex. I may enjoy masculine styled shirts while wearing frilly pink underwear, or something to that extent.

It's really hard to explain my thoughts so I apologise for any misunderstandings. It's just weird because I enjoy being feminine and masculine at the same time. I would neither like to be a girl completely or a guy, I like the balance of both. I tried looking at it like I was simply a feminine guy, but I can't see it like that. For the pure fact that I have no preference in sexual organ. I wouldn't care if I stayed the same way or perhaps one day it was switched. It's really rather weird for me to explain and I'm just trying to figure it out.

I also took the gender test and scored a 15 placing myself within Angrogyne. I know it's a simple test and really can't tell anything for sure, but it just makes me wonder ?

Comments welcome :)

Sorry for such a long post, venting I guess ?

+before I forget, I would like to add that I do not wish to be both man/woman PHYSICALLY. I may enjoy both clothing styles, but I do not wish to change physically, its sort of like I don't care I suppose ? I simply live with what's dealt. I do however strive to stay both masculine and feminine mentally. I like the balance and enjoy the comfort of being both soft and aggressive in situations. By aggressive I purely mean *male* in lack of a better word :)

Link to comment
Guest DEW1995

I have looked a bit more and I'm still a little confused On what is actually means to be Androgynous ? I made this post simply because I felt myself closer to it than being a CD, but I'm not sure on the actual definition. I have seen some things that hint at being Androgynous means to be without gender, while some have said it means to be of both genders mixed ? Is it a choice on how to feel ?

Link to comment
  • Admin

Andro = androgens = male hormones major players

Gynos = female = female hormones major players

Can be a male with characteristics more associated with females such as skin tones and bone structure features, light fine facial hair, or female with more rugged features. Then comes preferences in makeup and clothing.

Link to comment
Guest aleon515

CD and Androgyne are all in the umbrella of being transgender which basically mean you transcend gender in one way (or more). I think it is hard to tell if you are or not based on what you say. Clothes are what would be called "gender expression", it's how you feel, what's in your brain that matters.

Someone can be androgynous, without being an androgyne. That basically means what your whole person is, not just how you appear.

The thing is that no one else can tell about that, that is in your mind/spirit. At least this is my opinion.

So who are you inside? You don't need to answer this, but that's how to answer your own question.

--Jay Jay

Link to comment
Guest agfrommd

I have looked a bit more and I'm still a little confused On what is actually means to be Androgynous ?

My understanding of androgynous is that you are not comfortable being thought of as completely a man and you are not comfortable being thought of completely as a woman.

No one can tell you whether you are or not. That being said, your description sounds like you could very comfortably call our self androgynous.

Either way, please feel welcome to post here and explore along with us.

Link to comment
Guest Annabelle Anders

Wow. I had to double check the name up there to make sure it wasn't ME posting! Your wording sounds eerily similar to my first post! Apologies and all!

That's the great part of Androgyny, You don't have to apologize to anyone for not understanding something about yourself. Hell, many people still think that Androgyny is just the half-way stage between transition. But don't let anyone force you one way or another. You mentioned not feeling any anxiety about your reproductive organs and you very well could keep 'em or lose 'em. That right there I feel separates you from the MTFTM, as well as your embrace to both "gender-normative" characteristics. (although I've always found my feminine side hankering for the gory action flicks) So it doesn't seem as though you have a war going on between sides. (Many MTFTM go through rigorous therapy to come to grips with one side or the other.)

I know I can't speak for everyone when I say this, but this is how I feel Androgyny is and should be interpreted :

We do not define ourselves to be male or female, but to be ourselves.

We do not define our thoughts as they are organic and changing.

We do not define our actions, for we do what is best for us, regardless of public opinion.

We do not fit the pre-defined TRANSGENDER idea, ( as Aleon put so beautifully, We TRANSCEND Gender (Most people understand it as TRANSFERRING Gender)

We are inherently Equalists, not Feminist, Not Sexist, but true Equality; for we are living proof that we can all get along.

We are people, we are more common than many think, or have come to understand; but when it boils down to it, we are just people trying to live a happy, loving, and fulfilled life as best as we know how. (only we do it without concern for the pre-assigned gender labels)

In short, we'd love to have you, no matter how you define yourself!

-Annabelle

Link to comment
Guest aleon515

Ps. Excuse me Jay Jay for using your user name instead, :/ Force o' Habit.

Well it's pretty androgynous isn't it? No worries. I got the login by force of habit too, so there. :-)

And thank you for quoting me so "beautifully".

And yes, I like the concept of "transcending" gender. I'm sure it isn't original. :)

--Jay Jay

Link to comment
Guest Micha

Think everyone covered everything I was gonna say, cept one:

There are no rules.

Androgyny is so many different things, and it's not the only thing that is non-binary. It absolutely astounds me how so many people live comfortably in a binary system when the possibilities are endless. . . but tha's just my take.

Anyways, the way you dress is one thing - the way you feel, the way you see yourself, the way you want to be, those also are a huge part of identity. Only you can answer your question, sure, but there's a lot of info, a lot of shared stories and a lot or examples of the endless potential there is for anyone who questions the norm.

Also, not wanting to alter your body is perfectly normal, and I myself share this view, more or less. Bodies however are very changeable, and by no means a way of determining gender. Even your body's physiology (often mistaken as "sex") is not limited to a binary "male/female," "XX/XY" standard, as even chromosomes exceed a limited binary system, or so I've heard. . . still researching. Point is, your body and your appearance is not the whole, but only a piece of the puzzle that makes you who you are.

Take your time and have fun. ^_^

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 185 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • MAN8791
    • Kait
    • KathyLauren
    • Ivy
    • MaybeRob
    • Maddee
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      769.8k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,080
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Nonexistent
    Newest Member
    Nonexistent
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Ben1868
      Ben1868
      (22 years old)
    2. Charity
      Charity
      (41 years old)
    3. EagerBeaver
      EagerBeaver
    4. Nagato
      Nagato
      (33 years old)
    5. Star
      Star
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
    • VickySGV
      OK, I have several things that should be going for me, but really don't make much difference.  I have been on HRT since 2009 but my height is 5'11 and 230 pounds, not much up top and have never done facial hair removal sol without make-up it is old lady white on my face.  Every now and then I get someone with that weird look on their face but rarely get fully "clocked" as Trans unless I am in a bunch of Drag Queens  even without being in Drag.  For the most part though I simply no longer worry about misgendering and "do not hear it" if it happens, but if I hear too much I just leave the situation.   Your genetics are playing a big part in your life due to the height and inability to "Bulk UP".  That said, in ordinary daily life are you trying too hard to "man up?" so that your actions are exaggerated and not convincing.  A chip on the shoulder male will invite more trouble that one not trying so hard.  Do you know who you are?  Be that person and the gender is easier to pull off.  I am an overweight feminine dressing older lady with dyed red hair and some minorly atypical ability to take part in "male interests" hobby wise and I can be assertive in business issues.    I have two Trans Male acquaintances who could be your body doubles.  One is a true friend and has male traits of interest in people, a willingness to care and be straightforward in masculine behaviors, is a good listener and a whole lot of that stuff in him.  He gets an occasional "read" but sloughs it off and doesn't respond.  The other acquaintance will remain just that since he is screechy, thinks he is a celebrity in the community and the whole garbanzo.  He is about 49% likely to be misgendered and go off in a persons face when it happens and makes the rest of us wonder why we keep him around.    We are our own worst enemies when judging what we look like , absolutely the very worst, and we will call attention to what we see as flaws and out ourselves as I did often in my first years.  By now the problem children in my life have moved on and the rest simply know me as ME and as the result it does not matter if I pass or not.  Hard facts not positivity.  It will take you time, maybe more time than I have to be around, but when all else fails, lower your demands and expectations and it will happen.
    • Ladypcnj
      Sorry, the powers that be doesn't want me to post about my story, they recently blocked my user IP.. but that's okay I have support from the Lgbtqai+ community, they know the full story the truth of what happened.
    • Nonexistent
      Hello, I'm new to the forum.   I'm a 22yr old trans guy. I've been on T for 6yrs, and I have both top surgery and a hysto. I have meta scheduled for next January.   Despite being on hormones for so long, I still don't pass well. I'm 5'1" which I can't change, no matter how much I hate it. I try and work out every other day, but I can't afford the gym so I just do bodyweight. I have a little muscle on my arms and shoulders, and pretty muscular thighs. I'm skinny overall but I do have a big butt.   The only facial hair I have is on my chin, and it's slight. My face is feminine, though my partners tell me it's not. If it was masculine though, then I wouldn't get misgendered. I think they have a bias from knowing me well and liking me. I have been told by a stranger that I have a feminine face after they misgendered me and my partner asked what made them think I was a girl (which was embarrassing, I prefer to just lower my gaze and walk away and sulk).   My hair has not made a difference in the frequency of misgendering. I had it natural color (brown), but my partner wanted me to dye it silver on the top so I did. This time it came out kind of dark and has a blue tinge to it, which I dislike, but it will lighten up. But all the advice I've heard is 'don't ever dye your hair!' Which makes me think it's why I'm getting misgendered, but in reality the frequency is the same. The sides are short, top is longer and swept to the side. Basic trans guy haircut #01. It comes in the trans guy training manual (lol). But if a cis guy had my haircut, nobody would misgender him. So it's not the hair. And bangs look awful on me so this is all that works. I do also have rounded glasses, which I have heard not to do, but square ones look awful on me (trust me, I've tried).   I wear basic clothes, nothing special. I don't have a washing machine or dryer, so I have to go to the laundromat sporadically when I can afford it. So I have to rewear the same thing multiple times. I just wear a t-shirt and shorts usually. I have 1 pair of jeans, the only pair I could find that fits me (I had to get them from the kids section). I feel like I should dress like guys typically do around here (I live in Texas), maybe it will help me blend in. Though I don't blend in with dyed hair. It makes me self-conscious, but I would feel bad changing it now since my partner just dyed it for me.   I live in a conservative state, obviously, being in Texas. So I don't know if that changes anything regarding passing.   I'm just so sick of it. I was given the hopes that I would pass easily on T if I was just patient, but that's not the case at all. I don't regret going on T, because I do like the changes that I have, but I wish it would do more to help me. People try to tell me I pass well, but I don't think I can trust them when strangers misgender me. It's contrary evidence. It seems like they are lying to me, and I don't appreciate it. I'd rather have my feelings hurt than be lied to.   There's always cosmetic surgery, but I'm schizophrenic and mentally disabled so I can't make enough money to afford that since I can't work.   If it's unfixable, then how do you cope with knowing you will never pass? Is there even any way to cope? How do I deal with getting misgendered? It just makes me so depressed every time, even though I don't care what random people think about me. It reminds me I hate how I look and that I look too feminine. And that I'll never look the way that I'm supposed to.   (Please no toxic positivity)
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Snap On dealer impressed with me,have been paying off my new toolbox off.About $2,000.00 left on the payments left.Said he had to repo one last week,guy quit making payments on it.He hates deadbeats big time
    • VickySGV
      I am a little confused about the word in your title there.    Defamation is a variation I know about, and it is akin to Libel and Slander in meaning, and could be the object of a court action or a couple of types.   If you are referring to the act of denying or taking away your feminine gender, ie. they keep using masculine names and pronouns or referring to you as  a "man" or "man in a dress", then yes it happens to me on rare occasion and if it is online, I simply block the moron doing it or leave the group where they are doing it, and may or may not come back if the person is there.  When people are willing to learn about Trans Folks I do give what are jokingly referred to as Trans 101 or even more in depth classes to the receptive and accepting audiences.  I DO NOT however try to teach a pig to sing, which as they say sounds like hell and annoys the pig.  If someone is invalidating your gender, get away from them safely and FAST.    
    • Ivy
      My inner child likes to cuddle with Blahaj.  I know it's weird, but it works for me.
    • Ivy
      I'm not sure they can do this.  Not on line anyway.  LOL   Defamation?  Not that I personally know of.
    • KathyLauren
      It's a sign! 
    • Justine76
      Nice! I've found myself shopping around for astrophotography gear more than once but haven't taken the plunge yet. To close to a metro area to do it from my home.
    • Ivy
      It never occurred to me to be able to see them here in the south.   Maybe tonight if it's not cloudy.
    • KymmieL
      @Willow Oh, yeah. been on anti-depressants for years. Actually 2 different ones. Take them each and every morning along with my other meds. 
    • Ivy
    • Sally Stone
      Well, this last post brings my trans life up to date.  What happens from here is anyone's guess.  The next big milestone will be retirement, probably next year some time.  I don't think that will change things much for Sally because as I have stated previously, I am in a mostly happy place where she is concerned.    I do have a few more posts planned, as I would like to write in more detail about a few occurrences that were memorable to me.  Hopefully they will be of interest to others.    Hugs,   Sally  
    • Ladypcnj
      Has anyone been a victim of online defemination? and what to do about it?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...