Coming out to my parents

[Guest CallMeKatie]

I feel like I have to come out to my parents I can't stand it anymore. I've been going to a friends house and dressing and just being myself there and it just feels right. When in male mode I just sit around and have no urge to do anything, I think about being female. When I've been spending time as myself I'm happy, I want to go out, I want to things as a female. I feel this is the time in my life to take the next step, and start living full time. I want to be happy and I feel this will make me happy. I am now 18 and I know that i can take this step legally by myself but I really really want my parent behind me. With that being said, I don't know how my parent will react, I have no clue. My mom always talks about how she wishes she wasn't the only girl in the house but I don't know if she's just saying that or if she would actually accept if her son told her that's she's really her daughter. My dad I don't know, I've always got along well with him but i don't think he'll accept me as his daughter. As he always makes negatove comments about the lgbt community. My brother is open to living life the way you want as long as your happy but I don't believe he will accept this. So my question is I know alot of you have come out to your parents and siblings, what did you find was the best way of doing it, letter , face to face, leaving hints around, etc.? How is the best way, one person at a time, or in group? What are some questions to expect to be asked? Just any experiences or comments on what the best way for me to this is much appreciated.

Please help if you have any insight

Katie <3

[Guest Luuceee]

I feel exactly the same as you atm, i cant motivate myself to so stuff i usually enjoy like games and going to friends houses. Ive been thinking that if i come out ill tell my mum first and go from there, if you think your mum will be the most accepting then id tell her first and maybe then you can talk with her on how to tell your dad and brother.

Lucy

[Guest shortnsweet]

I haven't come out to my parents yet. But when I do I plan to probably write a letter. My thought for that is I can carefully think about what I want/need to say and write them down (also so I don't forget something since I can be forgetful under pressure). Also, it means I don't have to be there when they first get the news and I don't have to experience their initial response. They have time to think about things and then afterwards we can have an intelligent and hopefully calm conversation about everything.

[Guest LauraAlice]

When I came out to mom I wrote her an email with support links and useful information. I told her in person that I had sent her an important email. Now it is almost time to come out to dad and I am nervous as hell. Anyway, best of luck and I hope they take it well.

[Guest Jade T]

I know many people would prefer a face to face meeting with their parents because of the significance a parent plays in their life. But I came out to my father with a letter. My reasoning is this, people's first reaction to major events are generally pure emotion. If they do not like what you are saying, that reaction may get pretty ugly and certain things that are spoken can really hurt you. I would rather give them time to react then think before they make a decision on how to respond. But everyone has their own opinion on that matter. Plus I lacked the courage to tell my dad face to face so I told him over email.

Hugs,

Jade

[Guest CallMeKatie]

Thanks for the responses you all have given me alot to think about, I still don't know how to do this but I want to do this soon.

[Guest LauraAlice]

I can completely understand wanting to come out badly. It opens up a whole new level of freedom, whether the reaction is positive, negative or neutral.