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Guest Ellie_Aislin

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Guest Ellie_Aislin

I'm getting close to getting my letter for HRT, and I'm terrified all of a sudden. I thought I was so confident in wanting the hormones, but now I'm just scared out of my mind thinking about it. I can't go back to who I was, and I want to move forward, I want to feel more like a girl, and be looked at as a girl. I feel so disjointed right now. Did others feel so nervous when they got near this point? I'm so afraid of making a mistake, though I don't see any valid reason why not to proceed. I'm seeing my GT this afternoon and I will bring this up with him, but I'm just curious about others experiences. I want to feel feminine, feel my skin softening, look more feminine in the mirror and think more like a girl. I want to be perceived as a girl, and not as a boy. I really can't see what is holding me back other than the fact that I'm entering what is for me unknown territory. What kind of butterflies did others have? I imagine I'm not alone, and would love to hear so from others.

Ellie

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  • Admin

Ellie, you are certainly not alone in those thoughts and fears. It is a life changing decision, to start HRT, and no decision that important comes without doubts and fears. I felt them, and stayed in therapy probably two months more than I needed to in order to deal with them. Please don't feel rushed into doing something. Take the time to talk to your G,.T. and be sure you're doing the right thing. The only person you need to please is yourself.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

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Guest angels wings

Ellie when we face something new we are excited but scared because we are hoping for the best but our minds bring so much doubt . Talk to your GT and take your time there is no rush u have to feel at peace with your choice . Wishing you all the best for this afternoon .

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Guest Mia J

Like others have said just take your time.

And remember that when you start there are no instant changes.

You can stop if they don't work our but be sure and talk to your therapist about it.

Mia

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  • Forum Moderator

For me transitioning was like taking a leap off a cliff, You may have heard a lot about how nice it was below and may really want to be there but you still have to take that leap without knowing for sure what is going to happen,

It is in truth a leap of faith. In yourself and in a better future,

Many, maybe even most, of us have felt something similar. Though I fought and dreamed and sacrificed for T I sat for a long time and even delayed a day before the first injection.

It is a commitment as well as a leap off that cliff. A commitment to be yourself at last. To changing your life. And to stepping outside the norm at last. Of course we have never really been inside the norm but I think we more than most perhaps have often fought hard to be -sometimes for a long time. HRT is admitting that it isn't so. All of those things combined for me anyway,

The wonder is not that it is scary for us but that we manage to do it at all.

But for almost all of us there are no regrets ultimately and we would not, could not, go back. It was the best decision of my life and gave me a peace I had never known,

Your feelings are normal at this point and show that you understand what you are doing is life changing.

I think you'll find it is a change for the good.

Hugs

Johnny

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Guest shadowghost21

When I got the RX for my HRT I couldn't do anything but think about it all day. As soon as I got off work I went to the pharmacy and got them. Started the next day. I think I had internalized and worked everything out before I got to that point but just having the RX in my hand make me shake, but not with fear. It was with hope and happiness.

If you think it's the way to go I think it helps our mental states because it puts us more at ease with who we are. Think about the reasons for hormones and the need to transition. I'm sure you will be just fine!

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