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Coming out to Mom update


Guest CallMeKatie

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Guest CallMeKatie

After I came out to my Mom, she didn't say anything, and I left the room after a liitle bit of awkward silence. About 2 hours later she came to my room and sat down next to me on my bed and said, "Ok, I have a duaghter, what next?".

When she said that my mopey face turned into a smiling face. :)

We sat and talked about everything.

She asked me how long I've felt like this? and i told her I have felt like this for as long as remember and that many people think its a phase, and that I know that this is what I want. I asked if she remembered moments when I was young and did girly things that young boys dont usually do.

She asked if anyone else knew? I told her just my two friends and they're really supportive.

She asked if this is what I want and I've felt this way for a while why it took so long? I told her how hard it is to come out.

She asked if I will be able to present as a female? I showed the photos i posted the other day and she asked "who is that?" she couldn't believe that my body looked so feminine even though I didn't think they looked that feminine.

She asked how it all worked? I told her how long of a process it is and that I will not be able to just do this over night.

She asked how much progress have I made, before coming out? I told her just makeup and clothes.

But the best question she asked is what do we do next? I told her that the best thing to do is go to a GT.

I then let her read some of the information I found online and after reading it for about half an hour she came back. And started asking more questions about hormones and if thats what I want. I told her yes and tried to explain how that process worked.

She asked about full time and she asked some question, I didn't really know the answer too, and I hope you all can answer those for me.

She asked about the surgeries and if I would have to get them.

Then she got to my brother and father, and asked when I was gonna tell them. I asked her what she thought he would think and she said she hopes he accepting but she s not sure, which scares me because she knows him better then anyone.

She asked how I would come out to all my friends, which put a damper on things because I doubt any of the rest of my friends will accept me.

Then she told me that she loves me and is willing to do whatever it takes for me to be happy, and we immediately started looking up GTs, I think she is very curious to see what a GT has to say.

Finally she said if I felt comfortable, I could dress up tomorrow at home and spend a day as me, so she can get to know her daughter :) I think I might take her up on that offer.

Some questions I didn't know how to answer is how do you start going full time, what do you do about clothes, it must be difficult to get a full wardrobe where you can wear female clothing everyday. I told her that going full time is a process and I am not that close to that yet but she was curious so I thought I'd ask.

Anyway, I am really excited, I feel like I am floating right now, I cant believe how lucky I am to have my Mom.

:)

KAtie<3

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Guest Megan_Lynn

My mom was one of the last persons I came out to. This was because I was afraid she would totaly freak out. Well to make a long story short I sent her a long e-mail and got a phone call a few days later from her. Here I am expecting the worst and her reply is well alot makes sence now..I was shocked and elated all in one..Anywho congrats of you Mom excepting you always helps to have someone on your side.

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Guest vtphoenix

That is such an amazing story. I'm so happy for you! *hug* And it's not that difficult to get a female wardrobe - probably the easiest thing in the whole process! I just made a commitment to myself to stop buying men's clothes and gradually built up a wardrobe that way in the normal course of needing clothing.

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Hi Katie,

Amazing - you and Amanda had twin stories tonight! I'm so happy for you two!

You asked if you'd have to have surgery? It's entirely up to you. There are many ways to go with this, and it's a good thing to decide after you've gotten a feel for some of the first steps along the way - so, don't worry about it for a while yet.

How to get a wardrobe? Most of us go full-time in a slow process - it takes a while to totally change out a wardrobe - and it's best to start slowly anyway, to avoid a lot of costly mistakes (I gave away dozens of pieces of clothes I'd bought but didn't work out.) It's easy to shop on line, but also good if you can get a friend to go shopping at retail stores.

How to go full time? I started going out to my therapist and support groups dressed, got used to being dressed away from home where I wouldn't be discovered. Little by little, my comfort with being out increased, and my concern for being discovered decreased. As that came to a conclusion, I completed coming out to everyone and went full time.

Mostly, don't become overwhelmed by all of those questions at once. It can be overwhelming. And, you may find that what you thought was right early on changes over time. it's called the "baby steps" process of transition - just take each small step along the way, without trying to do everything in a day - you'll find yourself where you want to be in no time at all!

All the best to you, honey!

Love, Megan

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Guest Jade T

I am so happy for you Katie! Congratulations!!

For full time, I just kinda did it step by step. I started going out dressed for daily jogs, then I started going grocery shopping. Over time, I realized I felt more uncomfortable dressing as a boy then I did when I was dressed normally.

For my wardrobe, I did lots of my shopping at Goodwill to keep expenses down. I search around and find the good deals. Nothing beats getting never worn before brand name clothing for like $2 :)

So happy for you!

Jade

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Guest Luuceee

Thats great news Katie im glad it worked out well for you. You have been so brave over these last few weeks you must feel so relieved with the progress you are making.

Lucy <3

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Guest Robin Robin

My coming out to some of my family!

First was my youngest brother for which i helped raise through his late teens. He was surprisingly understanding and said He would help in any way he could.

Next was the brother right under me. he was very discouraged and unhappy. Later that day though he pulled me aside and told me that "he did not agree but he would stand behind me no mater what i choose to do", "After all i am your brother". His girlfriend was overjoyed, she said "cool now i have someone to go shopping with".

Next was my older brother. He was not surprised at all, He said he has known for thirty years. He said if i need a place to live while i go through the following steps i can live with him. I love my big brother.

Last one i told was my Mother. She said she always knew something was different about me, but she thought i was either gay or bisexual. She is having a real hard time with the news because she said she raised six boys not five boys and a girl but she said she would respect my decision and help where she can. At the end of the conversation she said she would like me to use a different name because she always wanted a girl named Robin and it's very difficult for her to have me use that name. A change i can live with. When we where all done she gave me a big hug. We both cried and she said i love you daughter.

Robin.

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