Transgender Lucid Dreaming

[Guest Heather C E]

http://en.wikipedia..../Lucid_dreaming

Basically, I have been trying to learn how to lucid dream. I'm too lazy to post up a full description myself (that's why I left a link), but lucid dreaming is basically the act of becoming aware in a dream and learning how to control your dream to your whimsy. Naturally, being on a transgender forum, you can probably see where I'm going with this.

My goal is to learn to lucid dream and see if I can create a dream where I can become physically female to try and sate my desire to transition for a little bit before I actually come out and get what I need done, done. I’m still not sure if it can be done (I imagine it can, after it’s a dream, right? (plus, I’ve changed sex in dreams before, but as I’m not aware, I don’t ‘feel’ it), but I’m giving it a damn good go.

Part of learning to lucid dream involves learning how to become more aware of your dreams in general. I’ve been doing this and my dreams are becoming more and more vivid. Last night, I became aware in my dream, but as is often the case with first awareness, I got too excited and woke myself up.

Basically, a while back there was this girl I had a crush on and eventually she got herself a boyfriend (I was too conscious of my current disfigurement to do anything with my body involving a relationship. It’d be a fallacy). I haven’t thought of her for a while, but yesterday, I started to like her again. So, as I had been becoming more and more aware of my dreams, they were becoming more and more about my daily thoughts. Naturally, my dreams the past few days have all involved my dysphoria. This one was almost void of it.

This dream involved myself and this girl on work experience in a university shop (my mum owns it in real life, she did here too. I’ve just done my work experience here last week) and we did all kinds of mundane stuff, but for some reason we were staying overnight in this shop. The weird thing is, I was not suffering from gender dysphoria in this dream. I acted manlier than I normally would (i’m not particularly effeminate in real life, but never your typical description of manly) and in the dream I felt really happy. I was confident and suave.

Throughout the dream I made passes at the girl and at the climax I asked her out and she agreed. We hugged and at that moment I thought “Huh, I thought you had a boyfriend”. In the dream she didn’t. That’s when I became aware as she never would have dated me in real life for that reason. I then exclaimed “HOLY CRAP THIS IS A DREAM”. It was a pretty amazing feeling to realise it and instantly, my mind turned back to dysphoria. I could see myself becoming feminine in the dream and almost instantly I woke up.

It may be that I didn’t get enough of a chance to experience it, but as soon as I awoke, I felt as I’d stabbed myself through the heart and burst into tears. I’d just kinda seen myself as I wish I had been born and suddenly I was back. The things between my legs and my nasty face hair were back. I had almost escaped and my waking up was painful as all hell. So I lay in bed for two hours crying to myself before my call to school. I’ve had the most incredibly dysphoric day of my life and honestly, I thought my attempt to have a transgender lucid dream has destroyed me.

Whilst that ended on a downer (I didn’t intend this topic to go that way, but oh well), I want to know if anyone else has attempted this. I’m going to try and do it again to see if I can have a proper female experience, but do you guys think it’s a good idea? Am I just going to hurt myself more when I wake from this dreams? Have any of you succeeded in having a transgender lucid dream?

Edited June 29, 2012 by Carolyn Marie
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[Guest artistformelyknownasnicole]

I had a lucid dream once. It was the weirdest feeling ever and I don't plan on doing it again,,,

[Guest LauraAlice]

Maybe you view yourself as a female so much that the trans part of your dream was to become a "masculine" man? Maybe the experience was to see yourself in a role of one extreme that you don't fit into to allow your mind a way to process an experience you were curious about. Dating a girl as a manly man. Maybe this will allow you to break any level of attachment to those masculine emotions that even the most feminine of us have? I may be dead wrong of course, this is all just speculation. I know from my experience I certainly am curious about being that "manly man" and knowing how it feels to not be transgendered so that I can officially say "been there, done that, time to move on." to I guess experience the emotion of being the male dominant role that is naturally expected of me while I still have the chance.

To answer your question, I have dreamed of being a cis-female though, I was often aware that it was just that, a dream. But I have never dreamed of being a fully transitioned MtF.

[Guest Heather C E]

I had a lucid dream once. It was the weirdest feeling ever and I don't plan on doing it again,,,

Hmm... the few seconds I did it for didn't feel that unpleasant to me... maybe I need to have a lengthier one to make any proper judgement.

Maybe you view yourself as a female so much that the trans part of your dream was to become a "masculine" man? Maybe the experience was to see yourself in a role of one extreme that you don't fit into to allow your mind a way to process an experience you were curious about. Dating a girl as a manly man. Maybe this will allow you to break any level of attachment to those masculine emotions that even the most feminine of us have? I may be dead wrong of course, this is all just speculation. I know from my experience I certainly am curious about being that "manly man" and knowing how it feels to not be transgendered so that I can officially say "been there, done that, time to move on." to I guess experience the emotion of being the male dominant role that is naturally expected of me while I still have the chance.

To answer your question, I have dreamed of being a cis-female though, I was often aware that it was just that, a dream. But I have never dreamed of being a fully transitioned MtF.

Whilst I've always told myself I'd rather be a perfectly content man, the feeling of having the femininity I've considered a curse for all this time lost was not nice. I didn't see myself as someone I knew, physically or mentally. I was living a stranger's life. If anything it's cleared any sense of doubt in my head about my gender, which I suppose is useful. Didn't get to lucid dream last night, so I don't have any updates on that front... guess I'll just see where it takes me.

[Guest Sheri-bi]

I had a boss who dreamed lucidly almost nightly. She loved to fly in her dreams and I think she was also a crime fighter. Dreams can be wishes.

Wanting to be a confident person, male or female, is almost everyone's wish.

Remember Cinderella. Wanting to be the belle of the ball. Then midnight struck and everything turned back. Wishes can have a dark side.

Crying for two hours after a dream is pretty significant. Self acceptance can be hard.

[Guest Serene]

I've had several lucid dreams before, a few having been nightmares which I finally decided to turn into happy dreams. I've heard of ways one can train their mind to ender a lucid dream upon sleep and I've been able to pull it off a few times, but only when I have just woken up from a dream and am still hazy, I've had trouble accomplishing it when I goto bed fully conscious. But flying, being a superhero, being another gender, flirting with crushes can be a good way to spend the evening.

[Guest SorchaA]

I have before woke up while i was dreaming got up went to the toilet and went back to sleep and started the dream from where i left it. I've also had dreams that felt so real i thought i was talking to a real person in it.

Ashley