Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Passing


Guest leo

Recommended Posts

without even realising or comeing to terms with myself being ftm i was passing

at work (i work in a cinema as a cashier), customers would say thanks young man/sir

a lot of collegues would take the urine out of me for this. but i actually liked being called that by customers and didnt mind

a lot of people aint sure if im male or female in my everyday life so its pretty cool i guess

anyone else had any passing experiences with out even trying?

Link to comment

Sure. I pass all the time and Present myself as male without even trying. The only thing I've done is cut my hair short but I did that before I even realized I was Trans. Although, I probably pass so well because I'm young. I imagine it would be harder if I were older.

Link to comment
Guest J-Walker

I ONLY pass when I'm not trying. It kind of sucks. XP Well at least people only refer to me as "sir" when I'm not trying. Now that my chest is flat people think I'm a woman for some reason. Those weirdos.

Link to comment

I pass a lot of the time now, but when I was in Wisconsin visiting my family last summer, I was trying to present as female since I'm not out to any of them. I wasn't binding and I was wearing a women's cut t-shirt (which was purple) and I still passed at least half the time. It confused the heck out of me, but I'm not complaining. :)

Link to comment

i pass at school sometimes to ppl who don't know me. usually i'll get he and she until my parents blow it and say she. my hair isn't that short but not quite to my sholders and i always guy clothes so idk. i've passed before without trying at all.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Vinn Romano

Hi..

Most people are also confuse about my gender...

So, they prefer to call me with "Dik" (Indonesian nickname for little child)...

When I spoke to someone stranger on the phone (example: call operators), they always call me with "Sir"...

I'm happy to be called like that... And you know, most of my friends (at school) always call me with my man's name, not my real name...

Yeah... :)

Link to comment
Guest CharlieRose

Now that I've gotten my hair cut I pass really really well. I've been "sir"ed by more people than I can remember. The one thing about working that sucks is that I have to have a nametag, which has my obviously female name on it and so that will ruin the illusion for people a lot of the time. I've gotten into the habit of carefully covering it up whenever a customer thinks I'm a boy so they won't have to say, "Oh, sorry, miss, I mean."

Oh, and a few weeks ago I passed in front of my entire family, which was really cool but sort of embarassing, too. The waiter at a restaurant we were in "sir"ed me twice, and my sister ended up hissing at me, "Act more like a girl! The waiter thinks you're a guy!" I made up something like, "No, it's okay," or something equally noncommital. I couldn't bring myself to break his perception of me, but I couldn't explain why I wanted to be seen as a guy, either. But, another good thing happened later. I had to go the bathroom, but the girl's was really full, so I went back to my seat. Then I remembered that I passed already that day, and despite my nervousness forced myself to go and use the male's, for the first time. There was a guy in there who didn't say anything! It was magical. :D

Link to comment

I actually don't know what to think about passing anymore. Back before I was transitioning and not binding or anything I passed almost always. Of course, I was a little younger (a few years and its like I turned ancient) and so I'm pretty sure that has a good part. Still, it seems like once I actually started transitioning it seems like someone shook a "no pass" wand toward me . Before in life pretransition and transition, I NEVER EVER could pass on voice, but (and its in the voice thread about an appt) this week all of a sudden I was a man on the phone. Today, I had said appt and the nurse was all over my voice it "outted" me as being in transition even and we had a great talk about it. However, with hair startin to grow on my face (3 1/2 months on T) its like I'm in some in-between space and it ain't passin -except when I'm not thinking about it it seems. I dunno what the heck is goin on.

Link to comment
Guest StrandedOutThere

I have a hard time passing. Some of it is because I am older and a little pudgy. I think I carry the weight in a female-looking way. Every once in a while I will pass when I'm not trying, mostly with old people or with kids though...not so much with the younger set. Being in groups of women makes it difficult too. I'm always with women for some reason.

Link to comment

i guess im lucky that i can pass on voice. even relatives think im my brother on the phone all the time. or whenever i speak on the phone people always think im male

Link to comment

isn't that interesting how you pass when you don't try?

pre-t this seemed to always be the case, it was very odd and i never understood. Guess it has something to do with being comfortable.

Link to comment
Guest Crossroads

I get called sir a thousand times a day. This was true even before I had thought of transitioning. At least once a day, someone practically bows at my feet to apologize "SO MUCH" for thinking I was a man. I'm well known for people saying "Sir?" and I turn around... "Ma'am? Sir?" Stare...... "Yes," says I. "Uh...could you help me with something?" lol, I don't get why people get so weird about it, though. And I never tell them one way or the other.

I have this one customer who swears up and down I'm a man every time he comes in. I think he thinks I'm a crossdressing guy or a guy acting like a girl. It's so weird.

Oh!!! Today, this little boy came up to the counter, and said "Why is that man talking like a lady?" It was awesome. I wanted to give him a high 5. He couldn't have been over 3 years old. And his mom tried to shush him, and he just kept going. "But what's his name?" (I guess he was hoping that would help him decide what I was). He went on and on until she finally just yelled at him to stop. I just smile really big when this happens.

Link to comment
I just smile really big when this happens.

This is because sometimes "transboy" and "badboy" are the same thing B) lol

<--Is neva evva bad... [pushes horns down....]

Link to comment
Guest Mitchel

It seems like I never pass when I'm trying, and do when I'm just being lazy. I was filling my car at the petrol station and the cashier sheepishly admitted to me when I got to the counter that he thought I was a boy until he heard my voice. (Stupid. Stupid voice.) I've even been called male at work and in front of my sister. She didn't understand why I wasn't offended.

But whenever I really try I just keep getting odd looks.

Link to comment

the little kid thing happened to me but they was like 'mum is that a girl or a boy?'

and another time a mate came up to me with her parents and i gave them discount and her dad goes 'very kind of you sir' and noone said anything!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   9 Members, 0 Anonymous, 263 Guests (See full list)

    • Carolyn Marie
    • Susie
    • Betty K
    • VickySGV
    • Ashley0616
    • Vidanjali
    • AllieJ
    • Willow
    • ClaireBloom
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,091
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Layla Marie hay
    Newest Member
    Layla Marie hay
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Britton
      Britton
      (53 years old)
    2. chipped_teeth
      chipped_teeth
    3. james-m
      james-m
    4. jenny75
      jenny75
      (34 years old)
    5. KASS13
      KASS13
  • Posts

    • Willow
      @KymmieL I think we all have had to deal with a person who would not apologize when they were wrong no matter what.  In my case it was my MIL. Actually called me a lier I front of my wife.  Even when she realized she was wrong she wouldn’t admit it to my wife, nor would she apologize to my wife for any of the things she later admitted she had done that affected my wife.  I had a boss that accused me of saying things I did not say in a manner I did not use.  Even another employee told him that I had not said the things nor used the words but he still refused to back down.     Unfortunately, all too many people in this world believe they are always right no matter what.  Some are very famous.  lol   Willow    
    • KatieSC
      I wish I could cope as well as others. I feel very defeated in that all of the consideration, and then treatment to transition, could all be wiped out by this time next year with the united effort by the R party to eradicate all that is transgender. I fear that the national election could turn out to our detriment, and we will face a national push to eradicate us. Tracking us down will not be that hard to do. Once they know who we are, forcing the legislation to reverse our name changes, gender marker changes, and other records, will not be that hard. We saw an example when the AG in Texas was data mining the driver licenses for those who had gender marker changes. Who will we appeal to? The Supreme R Court? We would have an easier time trying to convince a Russian court.    We need to get out and vote in November. There is not enough Ben & Jerry's to improve my outlook on all of this. In some ways it is a cruel thing in a way. In the early 1930s, Germany was working hard to hunt down the LGBTQ population and eradicate it. Now Germany has better protections there than we have in many of our own states. About 90 years ago, Germany was seeing the rise of their very own dictator...Now the US is on the verge...Oh never mind. What a difference 90 years makes...    History may repeat itself, but sometimes it shifts the focus a little...
    • Nonexistent
      I have the same problem as you, my face is the main reason why I get misgendered I'm pretty sure. I think it's mostly up to genetics how your face will look (T can help, but still genetics will determine how you end up). You can't change your facial structure really, you can get facial masculinization surgery but it's expensive so not an option for most unless you're rich lol.    Experimentally (I haven't done it but want to), you could see if any plastic surgeons around you will give you Kybella in your cheeks. It is an injection that removes fat, and is usually used underneath the chin/on the neck below the jawline, but some may use it off-label on the face. The only potential problem with this is that if your face would naturally thin out at an older age, it could thin out extra and make you look older (though I'm not certain on this). Another option is to get filler in your jaw/chin, which would make your jawline look more square and your face more masculine. I want jaw filler but I'm poor lol, it only lasts one year up to a few years depending on what kind you get, so it would have to be done every so often and can get expensive. I did get chin filler once, only 2 small vials so it didn't make that big of a difference. I would recommend going for the jaw if you can only choose 1, I wish I had done that.   Those are the only options I know of that will bring legitimate noticeable changes.
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Blake!! We are happy that you found us!!
    • Mmindy
      Good evening Blake.   Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums.   Best wishes, stay positive and motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you.    Trans men and trans women each have their own struggles for sure, but I agree, it can be a hard time to be a non-passing trans guy. There is no specific "man clothes" that only men wear. People could just think I'm butch (which sucks to think about, if people think I'm a lesbian when I'm a dude!!). I mean I would feel better if I got gendered correctly even if I don't fully pass, it would maybe raise my confidence to think maybe I do pass well lol! Instead I'm just reminded I don't.   Though I may just focus on the times I don't pass and ignore the times that I do. Because I rarely remember getting gendered correctly, but I hone in on the times that I don't. 
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you, I'm glad to be here. :)   I have been in therapy for 9 years but still can't seem to accept myself. I think it has to do with growing up trans in a world that hates us, especially in the south. I mean I was discriminated against by adults and ostracized as a kid/teen due to being trans. My family is accepting, but the rest of the world is not. I realize now a lot of people are accepting (even unexpectedly, like my partner's conservative republican Trump-loving parents lol), but it feels like my brain is still in survival mode every time I exit the door. I am a very fearful person.   My body still may change over time, but it feels like I haven't met the same 'quota' (don't know the right word) that a majority of other trans guys have on far less time on T. Most trans guys pass easily 1-3yrs on T, I'm double that and still don't pass well except my voice.
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you. I am just used to seeing trans guys who pass at like... 6 months to 1 year, at the most 3 years. And I just don't meet the mark, all the way at 6 years. It is possible with time I will masculinize more, but it's frustrating when I'm "behind" and may never catch up. It threatens my mental health mostly, possibly my physical health if I'm visibly trans (though I don't ever go out alone). 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boss is happy with everything with me and said I will be the only one that works on one customer's truck.This customer saw me clean a small grease spot in the inter of his Kenworh last week,on the steering wheel.A new customer too,saw me walk out with my tub o' towels wiping that grease stain off.This one,he cannot stand a grease spot in the interior.
    • Nonexistent
      Yeah, I am grieving the man I "should" have been. He will never exist, especially not in my youth. But I don't know how to healthily go about it instead of fixating on the life that could have been.
    • EasyE
    • VickySGV
      Going to the conventions has been one of my ways to deal with this stuff. 
    • Nonexistent
      Sorry it took me a while to respond!    I would like to get to know you. :) I only have mental disabilities. Schizoaffective disorder, depression, and anxiety. The last two are severe and very treatment-resistant. I did have physical problems for some time, but it was caused by an antipsychotic medication (Invega). It basically crippled me, muscle weakness/fatigue, basically could barely walk (used mobility devices) and doctors were useless since they didn't suspect the medication I was on! I've finally ditched antipsychotics (hopefully for good, unless my symptoms come back). I usually don't share like this, especially in person, but hey, I'm anonymous. :)   I'm not expecting reciprocation at all btw, these things are personal. There is more to us than disabilities, so tell me about yourself if you still wanna talk!
    • EasyE
      thanks for the insight ... good to know things are being well thought-out ... it is no easy topic for sure, as many of us on here have been wrestling with this stuff for years and decades...
    • Ashley0616
      @KymmieLWOW! He is absolutely horrible! Definitely one of the worst boss's. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...