Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

We Know We'll be Safe Here - A beautiful UU story


Guest Mittens_kittens

Recommended Posts

Guest BreanneB

Great stroy. If all spouses where that brave and welcoming. I think that is the one biggest regret in all this. The loss of my wonderful then wife. Now we are still best friends, but she has already moved on :(. Me im stuck in a rut

Link to comment
Guest Lacey Lynne

Thank you for this marvelous story!

Know what? I'm within walking distance of a UU church now. I actually plan to go this Sunday. Why not, right?

Peace & Joy :friends: Lacey Lynne

Link to comment

I never had an understanding spouse but I do attend a UU church and it is so accepting.

After my first visit I knew that this was a place that I felt at home.

While acceptance does not require understanding, I feel that most of the members are attempting to if not actually understand to at least empathize - so refreshing as compared to all of the 'condemning messages' from so many churches.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment
Guest Mikkiapolis

I recently came out to everyone at my UU congregation. They were amazingly supportive. The senior minister even wrote an original "naming ceremony" to help recognize and honor my decision. She also suggested a support group of members who are helping both me and others by being there through this transition.

I present as female now 100% of the time there, and it feels like I'm in RLE (still months away for real).

Not sure if UU might be right for you? Find out for yourself with an independent opinion - take the Belief-O-Matic quiz!

Think you know it all already? Ok, here's a different quiz for you (I scored 73% - without using any reference materials).

Link to comment
Guest Mittens_kittens

Lacey,

I'm curious to hear if you got to visit the UU church and, if so, what you thought. The first time I visited, I left thinking, "Now that wasn't anything like any church I've ever been to before." But it got me intrigued, and I kept wandering back every now and then to see just what it was all about. That was about five years ago, and I'm a regular now. I had no idea that my son was TG when we started going, but their response to his coming out announcement several months ago proved to me that it was not an accident that we were there.

Mittens

Link to comment

Wonderful story. I've been considering a church and have always heardgood things about UU.

I love this line from the story: But I try to remember the biggest lesson I’ve learned, because it happened over and over. If I risk being vulnerable and honest, I will almost always be rewarded with kindness, respect, and even love. Truth is a powerful force for good.

I have experienced this time and time again in the last 18 months. A lifetime of fear of exposure replaced by acceptance by others and myself. Go figure... :)

Michelle

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
  • Forum Moderator

A dear woman friend who goes to UU brought my wife and i a copy of that article the day she found out about me. I think it really helped my wife to accept me as me. She is a neibor and was the first to show up on the door with open arms.

What a great article in my life esp.

Hugs,

Charlie

Link to comment
Guest Mittens_kittens

Thanks, Megan, for letting me know. I'm thrilled to hear that Lacey has found a spiritual place where she feels welcome. I have no doubt that her vivacious and generous spirit is giving as much or more back to that UU fellowship as she is receiving.

Mittens

Link to comment

UU and its members are wonderful people. I didn't even think about it until after I did talk to them (thought I was doing it because they'd been paying my daughter to help with home renovation when she was still male in public) but the neighbors whom I told first were UU people. They told me right off I should come to their church because there was at least one transperson and the community was so accepting. And I find that true in general of UU. The husband of a friend of mine had found a great deal of support there as a teenager when his dad divorced his mother because the dad finally came to terms with being gay, which in the 80's was probably pretty darn progressive, even in New Jersey.

I have to put in a plug for Episcopalian also. It's a bit more geographic (depends on the diocese and the particular parish) but I was so proud of them this summer when they voted for total inclusion for trans people. I haven't gone to church much in quite a while, but I told my priest about my brand-new daughter and she just listened and then hugged me. And said there was a kid in their youth group. And someone else said there was an adult as well. So I guess I'd better get myself back to church.

Link to comment

Thank you for sharing such a warm welcoming story. Two of my best friends attend a UU church and when I told them that I was in transition. They were so accepting that it made me glad that I considered them such close personal friends.

I'm considering joining the Unitarian Church here in Columbia because I haven't felt complete acceptance in my current church for Transgendered parishioners. I may be wrong, but thats been my perception. Time will tell. Kathryn

Link to comment
  • 6 months later...
Guest DearFountain

I know this thread is old but I wanted to add my recommendation for the UU congregation. I started going to one recently and it has been so welcoming and everyone is very kind and open. My particular congregation has a lot of activities like meditation classes, which I tend to go to more than the services, book clubs, poetry readings, and hiking trips. UU's are dedicated to social justice and are not only allies but advocates; they march at Pride and support legislation for the community.

I had not gone to church for years because I could never get through a service without taking offense or feeling cognitive dissonance. Now I feel comfortable with a congregation and the services make me feel good all day instead of conflicted. I don't typically talk about or recommend religion but if you are looking for a kind, welcoming, spiritual fellowship experience without the conflict and pressure of other churches, check them out.

Also: lovely story! I will maybe print it out and bring it to the pastor, I think she would appreciate it.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 112 Guests (See full list)

    • RaineOnYourParade
    • MaeBe
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,025
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • violet r
      I firmly believe I drank entirely to much for about 25 years. Got drunk every day. This was my coping mechanism to keep hiding deep inside that I was a woman. I miss a lot of signs over the years. Now I drink mabye 1 or 2 beers a day don't even get a buzz anymore. totally accept myself and on regret is that I hide that part of my self which  truly makes me happy being violet 💜. I wasted a lot of time before  being self destructive and had no clue I was just hiding th real me
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Service manager at goes through that here.One was a belt change in a 2019 Kenworth.It was written on the work order including a service done and I seen it.Customer was a complete a-hole.I did it and said he did not want that done.Shown him the original work order and finally said the service manager was right.My boss had to get rid of two customers,always complained about their bill being a little high.Price of parts went up due to inflation and had to explain this to them
    • Tiffany 838
      Well it not morning and I haven’t been on her for a while but it’s nice to be back.  Did some catching up on everyone.  I do have a question, how is Toronto Canada for a get away? Is it a safe and friendly area for us to go.  The wife and I are looking for some where to go to allow me to be my true self.     thanks in advance
    • KymmieL
      Hey, everyone. my life is going down the tubes. at least I think. So, today. A customer called about his car, I told him that the oil change was done. The parts to fix the check engine light are ordered. He can come and get it. For the weekend if he wants. Customer says I didn't want an oil change. it was check the engine light and check for an oil leak. Checking the work order says oil change. The boss wrote the vehicle up. checking with the customer on services wanted.   Being that I wrote down the appointment in the book. and clearly states oil leak. She is complaining because she can't read my small ish writing. It seems she read oil and assumed it as an oil change. It seems like she is blaming me.  She wound up going home because she was too upset. She is stressing about an eye problem she has, she has to get eye surgery it seems she has a tear in her eye.    I feel that I am short for this job. because of the BS they are blaming me on. Plus I am still upset about the trust issue. If either one of the bosses start their Shite tomorrow. I am walking out.    
    • Davie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I love you so much,"  Lois said.  They met in the driveway. "I could not live without you." "Neither could I." "What are we going to do?" "Find another counselor?" "No. I think we need to solve this ourselves." "Do you think we can?" "I don't know.  But what I know is that I don't want to go through that again.  I think we have to hope we can find a solution." "Otherwise, despair." "Yeah.   Truce?" "Okay,  truce." And they hugged.   "When we know what we want we can figure out how to get there."   That began six years of angry battles, with Odie insisted he could dress as he pleased and Lois insisting it did not please her at all.  He told her she was not going to control him and she replied that she still had rights as a wife to a husband. Neither was willing to give in, neither was willing to quit, and their heated arguments ended in hugs and more.   They went to a Crossdressers' Club, where they hoped to meet other couples with the same problems, the same conflicts, and the same answers, if anyone had any.  It took them four tries before they settled on a group that they were both willing to participate in.  This was four couples their own age, each with a cross dressing husband and a wife who was dealing with it.  They met monthly.  It was led by a 'mediator' who wanted people to express how they felt about the situation.  Odie and Lois, as newcomers, got the floor, and the meeting was finally dismissed at 1:30 in the morning - it was supposed to be over at 10 - and everyone knew how they felt about the situation.   There was silence in the car on the way home.   "We aren't the only ones dealing with this." Odie finally said.   "Who would have thought that?  You are right."   "Somebody out there has a solution." "I hope you are right."   "I hope in hope, not in despair."   "That's my Odie."    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The counseling session was heated, if you could call it a counseling session.  Sometimes Lois felt he was on Odie's side, and sometimes on hers.  When he was on her side, Odie got defensive. She found herself being defensive when it seemed they were ganging up on each other.   "This is not working," Lois said angrily, and walked out.  "Never again. I want my husband back. Dr. Smith you are complicit in this."   "What?" said Odie.   The counselor looked at him.  "You will have to learn some listening skills."   "That is it? Listening skills?  You just destroyed my marriage, and you told me I need to learn listening skills?"   Dr. Smith said calmly,"I think you both need to cool off."   Odie looked at him and walked out, saying "And you call yourself a counselor."   "Wait a minute."   "No."
    • Ashley0616
      Just a comfortable gray sweater dress and some sneakers. Nothing special today. 
    • VickySGV
      I do still carry a Swiss Army knife along with my car keys.  
    • Timi
      Jeans and a white sweater. And cute white sneakers. Delivering balloons to a bunch of restaurants supporting our LGBT Community Center fundraiser today!
    • April Marie
      Congratulations to you!!!This is so wonderful!!
    • missyjo
      I've no desire to present androgynous..nothing wrong with it but I am a girl n wish to present as a girl. shrugs, if androgynous works fir others good. always happy someone finds a solution or happiness    today black jeans  black wedges..purple camisole under white n black polka dot blouse half open   soft smile to all 
    • MaeBe
      I have read some of it, mostly in areas specifically targeted at the LGBTQ+ peoples.   You also have to take into account what and who is behind the words, not just the words themselves. Together that creates context, right? Let's take some examples, under the Department of Health & Human Services section:   "Radical actors inside and outside government are promoting harmful identity politics that replaces biological sex with subjective notions of “gender identity” and bases a person’s worth on his or her race, sex, or other identities. This destructive dogma, under the guise of “equity,” threatens American’s fundamental liberties as well as the health and well-being of children and adults alike."   or   "Families comprised of a married mother, father, and their children are the foundation of a well-ordered nation and healthy society. Unfortunately, family policies and programs under President Biden’s HHS are fraught with agenda items focusing on “LGBTQ+ equity,” subsidizing single-motherhood, disincentivizing work, and penalizing marriage. These policies should be repealed and replaced by policies that support the formation of stable, married, nuclear families."   From a wording perspective, who doesn't want to protect the health and well-being of Americans or think that families aren't good for America? But let's take a look at the author, Roger Severino. He's well-quoted to be against LGBTQ+ anything, has standard christian nationalist views, supports conversion therapy, etc.   So when he uses words like "threatens the health and well-being of children and adults alike" it's not about actual health, it's about enforcing cis-gendered ideology because he (and the rest of the Heritage Foundation) believe LGBTQ+ people and communities are harmful. Or when he invokes the family through the lens of, let's just say dog whistles including the "penalization of marriage" (how and where?!), he idealizes families involving marriage of a "biological male to a biological female" and associates LGBTQ+ family equity as something unhealthy.   Who are the radical actors? Who is telling people to be trans, gay, or queer in general? No one. The idea that there can be any sort of equity between LGBTQ+ people and "normal" cis people is abhorrent to the author, so the loaded language of radical/destructive/guise/threaten are used. Families that he believes are "good" are stable/well-ordered/healthy, specifically married/nuclear ones.   Start looking into intersectionality of oppression of non-privileged groups and how that affects the concept of the family and you will understand that these platitudes are thinly veiled wrappers for christian nationalist ideology.   What's wrong with equity for queer families, to allow them full rights as parents, who are bringing up smart and able children? Or single mothers who are working three jobs to get food on plates?
    • Ashley0616
      Well yesterday didn't work like I wanted to. I met a guy and started talking and he was wanting to be in a relationship. I asked my kids on how they thought of me dating a man and they said gross and said no. I guess it's time to look for women. I think that is going to be harder. Oh well I guess.  
    • Ashley0616
      I don't have anything in my dress pocket
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...