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Depressed again?


Guest Jay Smooth

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Guest Jay Smooth

I'm so depressed its like one minute im happy and then the next minute i'm not i feel so out of place and misunderstood sometimes i just go to my room and cry and when im in front of people sometimes i really want to cry but no one accepts me I have no support from family and my friends aren't real friends they all laugh and crack jokes about me really i have no one. I'm missing out on so much because of my gender issue Its a living hell sometimes i just wanna give up on life completely its like every time i get in the shower i just cant stand it. Its not fair that i have to have a females body. In school its just as difficult i cant tell a girl how i feel and its like every time it gets out i like a girl something bad happens its not fair that all my boys actually have girlfriends or have had a girlfriend and can get one and they don't even know how to treat one but i do and still haven't had one. I wanna play basketball for the boys team or be on homecoming court in a suit walking with a girl but i don't know if they would let me. And not to mention not having the male equipment makes my life even more depressing I want to get on T but i cant nor can i see a gender therapist because of lack of support. I wanna a flat chest and a penis so bad. And iv'e heard the surgery sucks the Meto is to small and the Phallo has no feeling and it doesn't look like a penis and you have to use a pump to get construct and i don't wanna have to grab myself to get hard and I cant get a prosthetic unless someone orders it for me. My life -banned word-sucks no matter how hard i try to fit and it doesn't work. I want a girlfriend so bad i haven't even kissed a girl but their all strictly dickly do you know what i would do if had a girlfriend i would write her poems hold her tight and sing her the most beautiful song Tender love. Listen to it on YouTube. I'm so faithful and can keep a commitment. I just need a shoulder to lean on i'm so hurt its to the point were no matter how much i smile you can still see i'm hurt. I hate when people talk about relationships because i feel like i'm never gonna be in one i wanna get married to a woman but alot of people wont show because they all think im going to hell. And i don't want to i'm a good person i just don't know what to do?

Edited by JJ
using symbols to get around T & C not allowed
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  • Root Admin

I know it seems bleak right now but things will change. The day will come when you will meet the girl of your dreams. All you need is patience. Yeah, I know. Easier said than done but it will happen.

MaryEllen

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  • Forum Moderator

Things are not as good or easy as they seem for all those other kids. For trans they are extra hard but I promise that there is a much better life waiting and all of the things you feel you are missing right now won't be important in a few years, A few unfortunate souls peak in high school and talk about it as the best time in their lives forever after, Teen movies build up the myths tp be more bankable but for may, many people the truth is the teen years are the worst of their life and they never look back or think about them again when they are past. Trans and cis both.

The only thing that helps is to find things you enjoy and do them, To try to make each day the best it can be for you and not concentrate on what you don't or can't have. It will not get it for you. It can only make you miserable. If you can find a way to do that it will make your whole life better, Even adults sometimes never grow up and learn not to yearn and concentrate on the impossible instead of making what is possible happen.

You can have all you dream, You just have to get to the right place and time, You can be what you need-and you are young enough I believe you will see amazing changes in what is possible. Your future is as limited or as bright as you decide to make it.

Johnny

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