andro? ts? both? Confused.

[Guest jennipher]

I just can't really figure myself out. I plan to see a therapist in the near future, but for now I think I'll just ramble for a while and look at my feelings from a somewhat analytical viewpoint.

Maybe that will help me straighten out my own thoughts a bit, or even find someone else who feels the same way.

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Analysis

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I've never identified as a male, and I feel uncomfortable and very awkward whenever I'm in a situation where I fell I'm expected to act masculine.

However I don’t think I can say I’m all that female either.

I find the idea of androgyny rather appealing, but when I ask myself what I would want to identify as, (since in public you’d have to lean one way or the other at least a little, like in which bathroom you’d use! And all the legal stuff) I can’t help but say I’d feel much more comfortable being identified as female, and honestly would never ever choose to be thought of as male.

I don’t really feel all that much sexual attraction at all, but I know that when I do it’s always directed towards females.

I don’t hate my genitals, although I most definitely don’t like them either. I’d be open to, and am strongly considering SRS, but I’m not in any rush as long as I can hide what’s already there.

However, I really want to get on HRT as soon as possible so I don’t get any more masculine, can become more feminine, and can get rid of a lot of what’s already happened thanks to puberty. Also, I really hate having body and facial hair, and keep my legs/chest/underarms/face shaved.

Also, I’m definitely considering getting some facial feminization surgery, since I think even with HRT, makeup, and a better hairstyle, my face might be ever so slightly too male to be either androgyne or female, plus I just think my chin is too big/blocky in general.

As for clothing, I prefer female (non-masculine), or unisex-ish clothes because they feel/look more correct to me somehow (and also they are just way more comfy/better fitting than any male clothes).

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Conclusions

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So… Androgyne? Trans?

As I see it, I’m somewhere between the two. I’d like to look, and already think I do feel somewhat androgynous, but would like to be able to present as female when situations arose where I had to choose one or the other, or whenever I felt like it.

Or maybe I’m all the way trans, but haven’t been exposed to being able to be female enough to know how strongly I feel about it.

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Basically I’m right back where I started,

I know that mentally I’m not a guy at all, and know that if I had to choose between the two genders, I’d definitely choose to be female.

Wow, I wrote more than I thought I would! And now it's almost 1:30 am!!!

[Guest Lupi]

Sounds like my ex GF, who was a cisLesbian. Most girls lean towards a bit of a unisex look these days anyway. Have you ever looked up the word genderqueer? I myself am a genderqueer ftm and identify as such because I do not identify as female, but while I don't feel like any particular gender I'd prefer to be reffered to as male.

[Guest jennipher]

^ I hadn't really considered that, but it sounds pretty similar.

I was bored today so I took the S.A.G.E. test. It can up with basically the same opinion.

"S.A.G.E. Test Results

Your Raw Score is: 650, which indicates that overall you are Feminine

Your appearance is Androgynous

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Female person.

You appear to socialize in a feminine manner.

You believe you have major conflicts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Male.

ANALYSIS:

Male to Female Transsexual, either post-operative or in transition "

Edited July 25, 2012 by MaryEllen
Increased font size to a readable level

[Guest Lupi]

Kool, this is what I got:

S.A.G.E. Test Results

Your Raw Score is: -480, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous

Your appearance is Androgynous

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Androgynous person.

You appear to socialize in a masculine manner.

You believe you have major conflicts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Female.

ANALYSIS:

Female to Male Transsexual, who is a serious candidate for Gender Reassignment Surgery