Hi

[Guest Cait]

Hello to everyone! I'm Cait and I'm MTF. Excited to be joining you on the forum.

Enjoy helping people with problems they might be facing. Don't always seem to do

as well working on myself. Haven't honestly worked with alot of Gender Varient Persons

in my life, so excuse me if I'm slow to respond to a question. I offended a few people

in the past on a forum by trying to make a social observation. Didn't realize certain words

offend people. So, I'm practicing self-censorship from now on!

Anyway, I look forward to talking to everyone as I don't have a support group in my community!

Thanks for reading,

Cait

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hi, Cait!! Welcome to the Playground. Come on in and talk, heck most of us around here stick our foot in our mouth on cccasion Have a good time!

XXOO

Donna Jean

[Sally]

Hi, Cait,

Like Donna Jean says, welcome and feel free to state your opinions (within the rules - this is a family friendly site .

After a nice snack of one foot or the other, I like a cup of hot cocoa!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Black_Rose]

Welcome!

[Guest Frank67]

Hi Cait,

welcome to the forums, nice to have you here!

Frank

[Guest Cait]

Thank you

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Hey sweet - We have seen you posting - and now we have you introducing yourself. WELCOME

We look forward to talking with you. Let us know your questions - we seem to always have someone here "been there, done that."

We are generally here to make people more comfortable. We try to support each other best we can. Please let us know how you feel about yourself.

WELCOME again

Lizzy

Oh yes - "Gender Variant?" Hummmm... haven't seen that term here - but I don't pretend to know everything - I usually see "gender dysphoric."

[Guest Irielle]

Hi Cait and welcome!

Ima toss in two cents here about what Elizabeth mentions.

Gender dysphoria, according to the DSM-IV, is "....a strong and persistent cross-gender identification" and " ...causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning." (p 581).

My personal opinion is that this language is a bit negative and a bit strong for many of us, at least as a descriptive term. To me it implies that there is something mentally wrong with people whose gender doesn't match their physical sex and that this is a result of that difference or disconnect. I don't think that is necessarily true. What exactly does 'clinically significant distress' mean? I don't like the fact that my body will never match my gender (I'm androgyne) but I accept it. No one will EVER convince me that just because I don't fit into the binary gender system I am mentally ill.

To me the term 'gender variant' is better because it's a more neutral description. Although it is based on the binary concept of gender it also implies that there is a broad spectrum of gender; there are many variations on gender and it doesn't have the aspect of mental illness that the term dysphoria has.

Enought of that! Where are the cookies? Here - have some! Oooh, what's this?!? German chocolate cake! w00t!

Irielle

[Guest Drew]

hi Cait welcome to the forums. it's nice to have you here.

[Guest Cait]

well, i just told my psychiatrist [again]

that i was TG and he tried to give me Haldol.

I give up.

I called my family and left them a message telling them too.

in broad terms.

i'm flunking right out of school

i did take my antabuse today, so hopefully i won't drink anymore

i've decided to just be a recluse from now on

or rather, i don't mingle socially.

i'm tired of dealing with people,

i think that psychiatrist just got fired.

Cait

[Guest Elizabeth K]

well, i just told my psychiatrist [again]

that i was TG and he tried to give me Haldol.

I give up.

I called my family and left them a message telling them too.

in broad terms.

i'm flunking right out of school

i did take my antabuse today, so hopefully i won't drink anymore

i've decided to just be a recluse from now on

or rather, i don't mingle socially.

i'm tired of dealing with people,

i think that psychiatrist just got fired.

Cait

CAIT

Find another - a gender specialist 'Psychologist" this time

PRONTO - baby - PRONTO - before you lose your focus - you WILL succeed - you must!

[Guest Zabrak]

Cait, I've been there. I got suicidal after staying too long with a bad therapist who said and did a lot fo bad things to me.

PLEASE LISTEN

Please go find another one to talk to. If you cannot get another one then go to a doctor that you trust and talk to him/he. They may be able to help. You need to reach out for help even if it feels impossible. And if for some reason you can't get yourself to go out and find someone just yet or theres no help ready for you now then just hang around here. I'd be more then happy to help cheer you up and help you out any way I can.

I'm so sorry you're going through this but please keep your chin up.

[Guest doodle]

welcome Cait. Find yourself a gender therapist. You can always go back to school. You have to take care of yourself first. This is a good place to hang out. I found my gender therapist off this site and she is great .

doodle

[Guest Magan]

Hang in there Cait!!

Finding a good therapist is not easy but its well worth it, keep looking!

*hugs*

[Guest Emily.SoCal]

Cait,

First of all, welcome to the Playground. I wish it were under better circumstances though. The situation with your psychiatrist is intolerable. Haldol is a powerful antipsychotic that not even the crazy shrinks I've gotten mixed up with over the years have ever pushed on me. It's also not something used as a first line of defense -- it's used mostly in inpatient situations when schizophrenics and psychotics become delirious or violent. What that has to do with being transgendered I don't know.

I know you don't know me and a request like this is going to seem a bit forward but, please, DO NOT go back to that doctor. I would recommend a new psychiatrist for your Rx needs and also seek out a gender therapist. I promise you, just talking to a gender therapist will do you wonders. (It's a big part of what keeps me going.) Better yet, find a gender therapist and see if they can recommend a good psychiatrist.

About the seclusion and being tired of people, I understand. I so do. I had to drop out of school before I failed last semester. Then my girlfriend left me over Christmas. And now I'm living alone in an apartment that's 75% empty. I spent awhile holed up in here and nearly lost my mind. Fortunately a new semester started and I went back and am re-taking my classes and trying to get back on track. It's the getting out there and dealing people that keeps things going. Trust me on this -- I have severe social anxiety and I have to go against every instinct in order to get out there, but it's worth it every time.

Enjoy helping people with problems they might be facing. Don't always seem to do

as well working on myself.

Ah, but by helping others you are helping yourself. At least that's how it's been working out for me and I'm the same way -- good with others, not so good with my self.

It's been nice to meet you, Cait. I hope we see you around the forums!

-Emily

[Guest bronx]

Hey Cait, WELCOME!!!

[Guest Amanda L Richards]

Hi Cait,

I should have been paying way more attention to when people are introducing themselves, sorry about that.

I would like to invite you to feel comfortable with being with us. This is the safest and loving forum that I have seen. But then you prabably know this already since you have been here.

Anyway, I would also like to weigh in on the opinion poll of the "variant vs. dysphoria. I have noticed that the english language is laced with some very negative terms in descriptions of people.

I personally like the Gender Variant term over the Gender Dysphoria. This is for the same reason that I prefer "Birth Diversion vs. Birth Defect.

To me Defect carries an image of something that is not acceptable and not worthy, but only for the garbage. Factories that make some solid product have defective product that they will not sell, it either ends up in the garbage or broken down to it's component parts to be remolded, refabricated to a product that "is acceptable". I find that this is not acceptable.

They are talking about human beings that have some very real feelings! Do we like to be called "defective" or Dysphoric? I don't.

My opinion is that these types of words, mold the mass consciousness, and therefore this is a very deep root why people can be so hurtful in thier opinions, becuase this does influence the way one thinks.

Therefore with your help in a very general terminology, I now like to call my self Gender Variant with a Birth Diversion.

Thanks to you I have a real cool way of describing myself in a respectful manner and with real definition behind it.

See how much of a difference you made already? excellent!

Luv

Amanda LR