Are you proud of your trans label?

[Guest shadowghost21]

I hate being trans. I'm not trans, I am not a boy, I am Kaili and I am a girl. Sometimes I want to burn my past and walk away from everything I know so I can be some where that I am only known as Kaili, as a girl. I don't think it's lying or hiding anything. It's not that I am ashamed of it, it's that I want people to see Kaili the girl and not Kaili the girl that was a boy. I want to be judged on my actions, inactions, merit and speech.

I want to move where my friends won't slip up and use my old name or a wrong pronoun. They don't know it but everytime they slip up it kills me a little more inside and creates this dark well of sadness and hoplessness that I have a really hard time shaking. I ask myself what I am doing wrong, I walk like a girl, I talk like a girl, I look like a girl, I smell like a girl, I am a girl, why do they not see me as one?

I have been living full time as a girl for almost 2 months, I have been out for 7 and been on hormones for a little over 3. So this serves also as a mini update I had a nasty comment on the street while I was out last weekend, someone asked if I was a guy. I flashed a nasty glare at her and kept walking. I refuse to admit I am trans. I wake up in the morning and I see a girl there. I feel like a girl because I AM a girl.

I want to know what you guys think. Do you embrace your label, shun it, don't care?

[Cyndee]

I know I am transsexual, I can't just erase the past and pretend it did not exist, my life is too complex at this stage, so I personally don't care about labels, I don't care about pronouns, I can't get hung up on this. I just want to be me and be well. I call it authentic living, no more denial, no more lies.....

Good topic hon, thanks

Cindy -

[Guest FemtoKitten]

I am near identical to you in terms of my feelings toward the label, I'm a girl... and any label that can potentially be used against me to state that I'm not is something that I do not want to openly show.

[Guest KimberlyF]

Am I proud of the thing that has caused me decades of personal pain as well as made me act in ways to hurt people I care more than any others on the planet? That would be a huge no.

At the same time I don't hate myself for being TS either.

[Guest KarenLyn]

I am neither proud nor ashamed of being transsexual. It's a condition. It would be like someone being proud that they have cancer or diabetes. I am proud of overcoming the years of repression and making it as my correct gender.

Karen

[Paula ult]

As far as i am concerned I am just another woman going about her daily activities, however i am a woman with a transsexual past which can never be erased, at this point in my life i do not share my status with people unless they need to know.

Paula

[Guest JoannaSydney]

I am transgender thats who i am i dont want to be anything else.I do love the fact that im transgender hehe.I have to work extra hard to find and be the women i am becoming.I love it.I do feel the same way it hurts me too when friends dont understand completly.I think its just so hard for them to get it.People some times try to sir me on the phone and i correct them say "im not a sir" i love it even in public with people i dont really know like i get "hey whats up man" i pull people aside and tell them please dont refer to me as a man.i see a girl in the mirror too.It takes alot to do what we do.I totally agree with you about get rid of the old life i basically did because anyone who knew me before didnt know me i didnt know myself.Im right with you girl.Im fulltime.we have to stay strong and keep moving anyone doent like it too bad

[Guest JoannaSydney]

I am transgender thats who i am i dont want to be anything else.I do love the fact that im transgender hehe.I have to work extra hard to find and be the women i am becoming.I love it.I do feel the same way it hurts me too when friends dont understand completly.I think its just so hard for them to get it.People some times try to sir me on the phone and i correct them say "im not a sir" i love it even in public with people i dont really know like i get "hey whats up man" i pull people aside and tell them please dont refer to me as a man.i see a girl in the mirror too.It takes alot to do what we do.I totally agree with you about get rid of the old life i basically did because anyone who knew me before didnt know me i didnt know myself.Im right with you girl.Im fulltime.we have to stay strong and keep moving anyone doent like it too bad

Just to add i have always been female all along no matter how high my testosterone was

[Guest shadowghost21]

I should elaborate a little, the title is bad, but my post sums it up, and I am loving the buzz around this. It's awesome to hear everyone speak up

[Guest Sarinah]

I use to be upset about the idea of being labeled trans because I thought that people would never see me as a girl. In the past year or so I have come to realize that people see me as me, not as a girl or as a boy or as a trans person. Strangers call me she, ma'am, and the rest. To people who know me though I am so much more then just a gender label. Trans is just one small part of the bigger picture, and girl fits into that puzzle too, so does my past which includes time spent trying to play the role of boy. My roomate is a GG and she constantly tells me I am more of a girl than she is, but even she messes up the labels from time to time. Its amazing how much peace I got from recognizing that labels arent important. Whats important is how someone truly sees me.

-Evalyn

[Sally]

I have never cared for labels - I have always said that but we live in a world that just has to label things in order to know where to put them - everything must fit neatly into one of the accepted categories - I do not fit into any one category.

People are complex and as a transsexual woman my mere existence challenges the binary gender that was so popular for so long, am I proud of the label - not really because I dislike labels, am I ashamed of it - no, I am stuck in a world full of labels and this one is no better or worse than any other - I remain me no matter what anyone calls me.

I have had a very long journey - some would call it arduous but I just call it life - while some hate us and see us as freaks or insane while others see us as courageous for following our dreams - either way it is still just a label and I am just Sally.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest NatalieRene]

Kaili,

For me I don't announce it but I also neither deny nor confirm my status. I frankly think that it is none of anyones business. Your glare at the rude person was a perfectly appropriate response. I usually say why are you a guy?

Not all woman look the same and run the gambit of looking very feminine to some being rather butch. In some ways they don't know that you're trans so much as they are being catty about looking better then you. Hence my typical catty retort.

You look good by the way. I wish I had started my transition process sooner.

[Sakura]

Had some one asked me this question. 6-7 years ago i would have said " you bet your arse i'm proud " but then i was living in my home town where every one and thier mother knew i was trans, plus i was newly out and abouts. ( the new cause pride ) or so i like to call it. once i moved far far faaar away, from any one that knew me. and i realized that people just assume my natal gender is female. the pride wore off . slowly but surely. not so much shame but just a wish to be left alone. and not need to explain my self , now nearing 8 years on this little adventure. i just want peace and quiet. sure i spent 20 years as a boy . but that was then and this is now.......

Sakura

[Guest]

Hi Kali,

In actuality, I was openly proud of being trans - I'd wallowed around in uncertainty for so long that having a label that fit was affirming. And, I was proud of my accomplishment in being able to transition too. That was last year.

My transition has matured, and I'm more neutral about who I am. Yesterday, a cashier mistook my mate and I for sisters (this happens frequently). I told her that we were married, and then told her that I wasn't born female. To me, it's just a fact of life any more, not a matter of pride, but certainly not a matter of shame either. A few days ago I had an eye exam and outed myself near the end of the exam when we got to chatting about medicine and drugs. I assumed that the optometrist had figured out I was trans already anyway, but he was surprised when I said it. But, we were talking about medicine and the conversation moved on without much notice.

I think for me, it just doesn't matter. I've gotten to a point of security, there's nothing anyone can do or say that will change that. And I'm unashamed - that's important - it is what it is.

I've just accepted a position on the board of directors for a local support group. I am looking forward to contributing more to our local community, both as trans support and as a spokesperson for our community. I'm not certain what will happen with this, but it is done with full knowledge that I'll be a visible member of a trans community as well as a person in the community of life in general.

Thanks for asking!

Love, Megan

[Guest LottieZero]

I don't think I'm proud of it so much as 'at peace' with it. Being trans has had a massive impact on my life, and I don't feel like I can deny it. I don't tell everyone I meet that I'm trans, and I'll only usually tell if asked, but I do identify as a trans girl/woman (and as a girl or woman in general - the two don't negate each other IMO), and I don't think that'll change.

[Guest Danielle2525]

I am proud to be a woman who is dealing with her trans/intersex condition. Being proud of your condition is like being proud of your eye color, it's a condition, not an achievement.

[Carolyn Marie]

I am proud to be a woman who is dealing with her trans/intersex condition. Being proud of your condition is like being proud of your eye color, it's a condition, not an achievement.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Different Trains]

I'm not proud of the label. I'm not a great fan of labels full stop. I'm not proud of my past. It's just something I had to do and coped the best I could with the circumstances.

[Guest JennX]

I'm me. I identify as a girl and not much beyond that. I'm not a fan of labels. People are too unique to be put in boxes.

As far as being trans goes... I'm pretty stealth for the most part, but if I had to stand up to support an issue, I have no problem sharing my past.

[Guest Chrissy6455]

I identify with being female, however I prefer the Trans label over being labeled a guy.

[Guest DanD]

well if that picture is you, then I'd say you look like a girl to me. you sound like a girl when you write.

I agree, i dont like the label but its mine so long I've gotten used to it. People dont screw upo the pronouncs around me so much anymore. not many people know, but im still sort of paranoid about being found out all the time anyway.

I wish i could just think of myself as a guy, but i have a hard time with it. have weird dreams where my chest looks way worse than it does, and things like that.. or they grew back! If its a sexual thing, I cant stand it if its gayish, or its im post op and i'm all scarry and ugly and its embarrassing just at one of those "moments" when you should should expect to be having the time of your life. ruins the whole thing! ugh!

my mother, who was so well trained I thought, years ago, to call me my name and use male pronouncs, then she pops up with the old name, and the old pronouns again..aaack! I try to ignore it because shes an old lady, she seldom gets my name right anyway, she seems to go thru a roll-call to get to me. (well she had 5 kids, so she goes thru the roster of names till she gets the right one. but shes always done that, and genders dont matter. shes just as likely to call me my sisters name as my brothers name.

But i was on the phone earlier, with the DOT over an issue with the OLD name/gender thing popping up after 20 years! which is driving me NUTS right now.. the guy had my right name and adresss and info, then he called me "Ma'am"

and I wonder why do I refrain from calling him a few choice words, I wonder?!.

obviously he;s another one there, who is part of the problem. so can we just shoot them or what? of course not, but you know what i mean.

my voice is pretty deep. I am at a baritone/bass nowadays, its settled in pretty well. He said that just to be ignorant, and i was not ignorant to him.

i used to be very patient with people about the pronouncs etc. i figurd, these people knew me when i was born, and changed my diapers, so no wonder theyre kind of confused, it takes a while, it took me a while to grasp it too, so why not them? so i give some slack on it, where no harm was meant,m if theyre used to it.

this one FTM guy i met a few years ago, he never knew me before, in conversation my old name came up,. and i dont usually mention it at all, but i figured well i can answer it, its harmless, but then, later on when we went out somewhere, he refered to me as that name, as if he'd been using it his whole life! and he also used the wrong pronouns, yet i never screwed up and called him old pronouns or old name. what a character, wouldnt you say? and it wasnt like, he was mad at me so he said ot to be mean, he just said it like it was something he just had to say. I think when some people meet you, they push your buttons to see what they can get away with. pretty ingorant of him.

i should be sleeping again but i am not, because im too depressed and stressed out, again.

funny thing. mom told me dad told her the other day, his name is Dan, not that other thing, you keep calling him that name and saying she and her, and you shouldnt. if i were dan, i'd feel pretty hurt and mad that you keep doing that.

Amazing, my father said that? People can really surprise you sometimes! He's come a looong way on this.

[Guest MsPerseveres]

Interesting when DanD said that "you sound like a girl when you write". I don't know that I've actually been checking for gender cues in the writing that I've read so far. I do know that I'm not going as far as I would normally go with my posts - I've been deleting the last bits and being less directive in what I say.

Does anyone else notice "female writing"? I think that I might, but I'm not sure if it's just because I read the name, and assume from there, or what...

Brenda

[Kyla666]

For me i Hate saying i am transgender and hate being called trans... But on the other side of it i kind of make fun of myself =/ Just so some of that hate is off me.

If i could i would delete my past... There is nothing about my past i like. I don't want to been seen as "That trans girl" But i know that no matter what it's going to happen so i may as well make fun of it and just try and go with the flow.

[Guest Chrissy6455]

well if that picture is you, then I'd say you look like a girl to me. you sound like a girl when you write.

Thank you, I really needed that boost . But I was curious also how you sound like a girl when you type?

[Guest Samdaharu]

I am a woman, however, I do not bear grudge towards my male roots. Had I been born differently, I would not have met the wonderful friends I have now, nor would I have been able to experience something this unique.

While the road has been tough (and it's going to get tougher), the allies that I made along the way make it worthwile ♥