Confusing people-slash-possibly managing to pass.

[Guest Lucian1549]

Recently, I was ona trip to Europe, Germany to be precise (Recently as in I got back home about four hours ago). I must say, it was pretty awesome for two main reasons: a) it's Europe and I got to see my family for the first time in forever, and I actually managed to somewhat pass, and if not that, I certainly confused people.

No questions were asked upon my departure from the USA, although I did get a few cobfused looks from security personelle as they checked and doubled checked my passport (Note to self: Update picture on passports). Whike I was in Germany, I couldn't go full guy mode because my grandparents aren't the most supportive of anyone who isn't a heterosexual cisgender, and I hadn't come out to anyone but my parents yet, but I still managed to wear fairly masculine clothes and my binder. The stares I got in the bathrooms were certainly a way of seeing that people thought I was a guy. At one point, I was standing and washing my hands when this woman walked in, looked at me, walked backwards out of the bathroom, looked at the door, and then hesitantly walked in again. Such an occurence happened multiple times, and I think there's now more than a couple of little girls terrified of 'the man in the women's bathroom' xD I'm wishing I could have used the men's room, but, with my grandparents hovering around me, that just wasn't possible, and, hey, at least it shows I probably managed to pass as a guy, even though I wasn't trying at all... Well, maye I was trying a little bit xD

On the return flight to the US, things got a bit

complicated. The person at security looked at my passport, walked off, and came back with two other people, all of them who questioned me about whether I was actually using my passport. Apparently, and I quote her exactly, "It was strange, wasn't 'Julia' [My name] a girl's name?" I must say, I felt like cheering then and there, although, sadly, I then had to tell her that I was, in fact, me, and that all of the information on my passport was correct.

On my flight, I got sir'd a few times, even by the flight attendent who was my sister's and my escort. That certainly made me happy.

Overall, my vacation was awesome, and I'm finding I have a rather simple time passing as a guy now. Mum thinks that it's because of my new hair cut and wardrobe, but, personally, I think it's because I have a lot more self-confidence now.

On a slightly random note, how does the name 'Leon-David' sound? I'm trying to decide between that and 'Lucian-Aleksander'. Personally, I prefer Lucian because I look like a Lucian - I'm tall, thin, pale as snow with stobe gray eyes and nearly white hair. Maybe my opinion of what a 'Lucian' looks like may be influenced a bit by the Malfoys (Can you tell I like Harry Potter? XD and yes, I do realise his name is technically Lucius, but Lucian and Lucius are practically the same thing). My parents prefer Leon-David, since that would have been my name if I had been born a male, but my friends prefer Lucian-Aleksander. Which name do you guys prefer?

~Lucian

[JJ]

The vacation sounds great. Doesn't sound like being accepted as male is going to be problem for you. Feels great doesn't it

As far as names how about a compromise? Lucien-David. It has a nice sound and honors your parents while keeping the name that suits you best. Just a suggestion anyway.

Johnny

[Guest aleon515]

I agree with Johnny. I think it sounds good and it is nice to honor supportive parents (if they are that is).

--Jay Jay

[Guest Crossroads]

Glad you had a great trip!

I'm always one to say "go with your heart" on the name topic. You'll be living with it the rest of your life, and if it's something you truly feel connected about, I'd go for it. I felt a very deep connection to the name I chose, and I feel so confident just having it as my own.

If you just like the sound of it better, I'd say go with your parents name. That's a deeper reason than a pretty sound or a passing fad or interest.

Good luck!

[Guest aleon515]

BTW, I once in awhile read the parents forum. There have been posts there about name change. And some parents would really like to be a part of this. I feel if they are supportive this could help them in feeling part of your process.

--Jay Jay