Why Does Nobody Care???

[Guest SanctuaryKitten]

I'm here. I need help. Nobody wants to help me? What am I supposed to do??? Just live the rest of my life and eventually die??? I don't understand. I've never met another transgendered like me. Do other really exist? am I crazy. Please HELP.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hello, Kitten...

Slow down, sweetie...slow down.....Here have some coco..hold it in both hands...see? That's nice and warm!

So, you've never met a Transgendered like you?...Well, here I am..so, now you know two! And others DO exist..just you wait and see....lots of us here...kinda like black cat hairs when you wear a white sweater...

And shortly other wonderful people from the Playground will come in here to welcome you, also...

So...take a deap breath...we all love ya....we're nice like that.

I'll check back with you shortly....

Relax, Dear.....

Good 'ole Donna Jean

[Sally]

I'm here to try to help you.

I'm no therapist, just a MTF transsexual who denied to herself who she aws for over 50 years. So I have a lot of experience with depression, anger, self loathing, shame - you get the idea. I've never done drugs or alcohol because I always felt that I had enough problems and they would still be ther just adding another.

Tell me a bit more about your self _ don't be so specific that it would out you, but enough to let me know what you are feeling - obviously alone an unappreciated, well that is over now, I'm with you and I care very much.

Please accept my offer and let me be your friend, I would love to help you if I can.

Sally

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Oooh...here I am. I'm another transgendered person. Pardon me for not writing much. I'm just a couple of days post surgery...still a little stiff.

Welcome! I know you'll find some help and support around here.

[Guest Drew]

i'm also another transgender person ...another alcoholic trans person. there are lots of others like you, don't worry. we're here to talk if you need to

[Guest Evan_J]

Its a bird, its a plane, its yet another trans person. You're startin to rack those up aren't you? And this time this one is both recovering from both. Sally was right though, too bad you and I didn't figure it out, it doesn't change anything, all the problems you had will still be there when you sober up only with this added on.

Usually when someone is "announcing" that they have a problem its a time when they want that to change. Do you want that to change? Are you tired yet? I can't answer that for you. And I can't tell you you need to/ought to "x" thats something only you can do. What I can do is tell you that if you decide you are tired you should look for groups in real time too. AA and N/A are awesome. N/A -narcotics anonymous- is built on the foundations AA was for the recovering drug addict. Addicts within N/A are often dually addicted -both alcohol and drugs- it doesn't matter if you talk about them jointly or singularly, at the point either is abused its a drug. I would seriously consider a real time group because as much as this board will be there to support you -and it will- it doesn't take the place of flesh and blood. Especially with regards to a sponsor. Flesh and blood hugs -or flesh and blood kicks in the pants when you need em- by somebody who's been exactly where you have can't be duplicated. If you're thinking by this point, "I might need help, but I'm not one of 'them'" then thats another reason to attend a group. "Them" can be doctors, lawyers, the kid down the street, people you would never imagine and some you might already know. -You'll be surprised.

I'm not gonna drag this out, I'm gonna give others a chance to post. But no, you're not alone.

[Guest Arbon]

Hi SanctuaryKitten

welcome to the forum. There are others. Read and post. There are lots of great people here who understand.

[Guest Kelly Ann]

Hi Ya SanctuaryKitten,

[Guest Kelly Ann]

doggoneit...I still ahven't figgured out what I do to post suddenly without warning...er ahm...nothing? ARGH HAS to be SomEtHiNg. I guess I have a mystic send button. OOooooH YEs und velcome to der klub...probably everybody here has felt as you are at one time or moment or another...so sister welcome home(-; it's pretty good here...explore...this' bigger than the BatCave and lots more enjoyable. Knowledge IS power. Smile in the mirror (appologies and thanks to EvanJ) it'll catch you off-guard, Kelly Ann

[Guest doodle]

Hi, feeling alone can be awful. You came to a good safe place with people just like yourself. As far as the drug and alcohol abuse I have had problems for years on and off. tried AA but couldn't make it there. I believe that most of my problems were because I was trying to be something is wasn't a man. my doctor sent me for a liver scan and the results were slightly problematic. I asked for HRT and started that day with in a few weeks i lost the desire to drink or drug -shocked my partner. I have read here on this site that others have had the same experience which is where I got the idea

good luck

doodle

[Guest DeniseNM]

Welcome Kitten, this is a safe and wonderful place to be with wonderful caring people here. As has been said you are not alone with how your feeling or the loneliness. That is bad enough when you are transgendered but it even worse I think (at least it was for me) when you throw addiction into the mix, mine is alcohol, compulsive eating, bulima and co-dependency. The good news is that you can get help with it but you have to ask for and accept the help (which isn't easy even after 14 years of recovery). This is a good place to get the help but also use outside resources like a therapist and groups like AA & NA (there are groups that are geared towards the LGBT community at least in AA). Just know that here you are among friends and we all love you. I say that because all I have felt since I joined is acceptance and love from everyone.

[Guest cerise]

I was at an AA meeting last night (small group started with 2 then 3} the initial topic was connecting . Great meeting . We all have some time in the program and for us connecting and staying connected is vital . It requires reaching out and being vulnerable .

Why are you so different from other TGs ? Can't help unless you accept help and accept yourself.

A response to all these kind people above might be a first step.

[Guest androgynous]

I'm here. I need help. Nobody wants to help me? What am I supposed to do??? Just live the rest of my life and eventually die??? I don't understand. I've never met another transgendered like me. Do other really exist? am I crazy. Please HELP.

Hi SanctuaryKitten!

I hope I can be of comfort, I want to say that you are never alone. You might be alone where you are, but so many people are too. It gave me so much comfort to know that there is someone one out there, even more than one would imagine, sitting alone, eating alone, sleeping alone and ponder the stars at night. Please remember that you are never alone. And do continue to talk about yourself, by all means we want to know you.

I was alone for about 90% of my life, and it only made me stronger. The irony of it was, that I now feel better when I am alone I must say that meditation worked for me a lot. (turning of the telly as well) I got so in touch with myself that I would recommend it to anyone to at least try it a couple of times, if you haven't already.

I feel you, so do many other people.

Love and a big hug!

-- Those who matter don't mind and accept you as you are. And those that mind don't matter.

[Guest bronx]

Hi SanctuaryKitten. Welcome to the Forum

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Meet another

Hi - just another diagnosed transsexual MTF here - and I missed your first posting because I never think to look in the alcohol abuse forum, my fault sorry.

I guess alcohol abuse wasn't on my list of of a hunded problems, well... not that high. If you had mentioned the "just live the rest of your life and eventually die," thats pretty high up on my list. You see I think about that so much... hope I make it... how I want to live out the rest of my life - and I gave up alcohol when I started HRT - ruins the affect, competes too much with the hormones for the liver's attention - grin. I wonder if they ever discuss something like that in AA?

So welcome to the best site around. Post in the general or appropriate MTF/FTM forum - I for one, look there everyday, and thanks for reminding me how short sighted I am not to check everywhere.

Liz

[Guest Ginag]

I'm here. I need help. Nobody wants to help me? What am I supposed to do??? Just live the rest of my life and eventually die??? I don't understand. I've never met another transgendered like me. Do other really exist? am I crazy. Please HELP.

Welcome to a great web site. Your not crazy, and you may have met some transgendered people, but just don't know it! It's not easy being transgendered, it takes a lot of courage for someone to accept they are transgendered. It took me 40 years to accept what I truly realized decades ago. I wish I could have accepted my true identity when it would have affected less people. But as myself and many on this website have learned-This journey starts with many small steps.

[Guest CharliTo]

Hi. You're not alone. You're not crazy...and you have all our warm welcome here.

*hug*

[Guest Elizabeth K]

SanctuaryKitten

Sweet - we are lookin for you! Come back to us please?

[Guest SanctuaryKitten]

Yay. i found my old thread! I forgot i'd put it in alcohol/abuse. how silly of me, considering my problems. lol. Yea, i never thought about LGTB AA/NA meetings. I could find some if and when i manage to move to a city again, hopefully sometime in spring this year. I can't go to the other ones; i already tried in the town im living, and even got a sponsor, but my gender caused a problem with her, so i had to leave after only a week or so of going to meetings.

I can't say for sure what i meant at the time by "no transgendered like me", but i think (and hope) all i meant was never having met any other ppl like me, so was wondering if they even existed! i could have been confusing transvestites too with ppl like us, cuz my dad once told me i was, and that got me very very angry and hurt. either way, i'm sorry if it sounded rude.

I'm happy to be here, and have (apparently) a lot of lovely ppl to talk to. I'm pretty shy though in this. Its kinda like coming out of the closet again just like when i first wore women's clothes. I always hid my true identity from everyone on the internet, and tried best i could outside in the real world, which made me really sad and angry, because even ppl who saw me would think i could have babies or be with them as i would have liked to be. but they never knew i didn't have a vagina of course...

i'd give individual replies to all of you if my head was better. lol. but i drunk last night sadly, however did get some phytoestrogens on the same day, which always helps curb my drinking habits and make me feel better. Lovely to be back, and half-sane for once. heehee.

[Guest mia 1]

Don't worry about last night. Cocentrate on today. You are with your family and friends now...................Comfort food too. Sally where are you.Mia.

[Sally]

Well, Mia

I was busy greeting SanctuaryKitten on her latest post - her, I'm back again, post.

And just like I told you there Kitten, we are all here for you.

I don't remember if I offered you or refreshment cart - I'm almost sure that I did, but anytime you have an urge to drink, just come here and have some hot coco and cookies instead - hold the warm cup in both hands, sit in that big comfy chair by the fireplace and put your feet up - doesn't that feel good!

And the best part - no calories and no hang over!

So glad that you made it back here to people who really care about you.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest SanctuaryKitten]

Well, Mia

I was busy greeting SanctuaryKitten on her latest post - her, I'm back again, post.

And just like I told you there Kitten, we are all here for you.

I don't remember if I offered you or refreshment cart - I'm almost sure that I did, but anytime you have an urge to drink, just come here and have some hot coco and cookies instead - hold the warm cup in both hands, sit in that big comfy chair by the fireplace and put your feet up - doesn't that feel good!

And the best part - no calories and no hang over!

So glad that you made it back here to people who really care about you.

Love ya,

Sally

heehee. you offered my the refreshment tray twice i think. good thing no calories, but i did buy a gigantic pizza today. It was great!

I also sent 2 e-mails asking for a gender therapist in Toronto from the links here today (i'll take a bus ride every month if i have to). I hope i get replies soon. if not i'll call them and drive them as nuts as i already am

[Guest Arbon]

Yay. i found my old thread! I forgot i'd put it in alcohol/abuse. how silly of me, considering my problems. lol. Yea, i never thought about LGTB AA/NA meetings. I could find some if and when i manage to move to a city again, hopefully sometime in spring this year. I can't go to the other ones; i already tried in the town im living, and even got a sponsor, but my gender caused a problem with her, so i had to leave after only a week or so of going to meetings.

I'm sorry, did you say that you had to leave? :angry: :angry:

Did they ask you to leave? Or did you leave becuase they made you feel uncomfortable?

I don't care who has a problem with it, if you are there for sobriety don't ever ever ever ever let anyone keep you from it, for any reason. You have every right to be there.

Are there other meetings in your area you could try attending?

[Sally]

That's right, I remember now and you gave us three choices for names - I think I picked Pauline!

I occasionaly have these blonde moments (I'm too young for senior moments - don't believe what Donna Jean, Mia and Liz might say about my age - they are just jealous ), but I'm glad you got some pizza - we have that and cheesburgers for the FTMs - sometimes they are a little too hungry for just desserts!

Good luck on the therapists!

Keep us posted,

Sally

[Guest SanctuaryKitten]

That's right, I remember now and you gave us three choices for names - I think I picked Pauline!

I occasionaly have these blonde moments (I'm too young for senior moments - don't believe what Donna Jean, Mia and Liz might say about my age - they are just jealous ), but I'm glad you got some pizza - we have that and cheesburgers for the FTMs - sometimes they are a little too hungry for just desserts!

Good luck on the therapists!

Keep us posted,

Sally

Pauline is going be my new legal name, so awesome guess!!! lol. the other names i used in the past hold mostly bad memories. The only problem is is it pretty close to Paulina, my first love, but that doesn't bother me too much, only my parents (however it seems like anything and everything i do bothers them. heehee)