My femme self vanishes at parents - fear!

[Guest Eve Caillard]

As you may remember, I learnt I am a cross-dresser only very recently at the tender age of 53, completely out of the blue. I am still coming to terms with it all but I am having a wonderful time discovering the other ‘me’ and spending far too much money on clothes and boots.

This last week I returned to my old home, to my parents for a holiday and catch up. I loved seeing them. I took some clothes for under-dressing but it turned out to be too warm for anything like that. But I also found that my ‘femme self’ clammed up like a bank safe. At my parent’s house the clothes I took stayed packed firmly out of sight. My ‘she’ self did a runner and I even found myself questioned the worth of being a transvestite / cross dresser. But having to hide my femme side really hurt, even though it was only for a few days. I was just so nervous. But what really got me was the strong element of self doubt: that cross-dressing is stupid and a silly personal folly. I felt that I was being pathetic, and I should grow up and be a man. I did not like feeling this way and chalked it down to the environment of being with my parents.

Do any of you experience this? When it is not safe to dress, the bolts slam shut and I have to be utterly male, the “solid masculine son”? I dare not come out to my parents. I know from my childhood they will totally refuse to tolerate this. (Anyone who knows post-war English north-eastern folk will understand this...) I’d love to know if you experience this and how you feel about it – it might help me understand how I am and what affects me. Cross-dressing is all so new to me. In advance, thanks...

Thanks & hugs!

Eve

[Guest MrMxyzptlk]

The only time my femenine side comes out now is when I am alone. Like now. I called in sick to work, the wife and child are out and I am happily sitting at the computer with a black skirt, cute top, fishnet body stocking and red heels. But when I was talking on the phone to the internet provider I reverted to male. I even walked wrong. It's odd how that happens. I wouldn't worry about it, my folks will go to their graves not knowing I cross dress. They are just tooo salt of the earth to understand.