Hi I'm New, I'm Androgynous And Some Other Things

[Guest ericc]

Hi everyone, my name is Eric. I'm new here. And I've just figured out a few months ago that I'm Androgynous. I am biologicly male but I just noticed how different I am from the typical heterosexual male. I'm not 100% Mascluline, I think the only masculine thing about he is that I like rough & risky satrical humor / comedy. Plus I'm not 100% feminine. I would say that I'm more emotionally sensitive then most men when it comes to certain things, and I really love cats, they're like children to me.

Even though I'm heterosexual, I'm not attracted to feminine women. I'm attracted to women in the Masculine gender.

I recently left the website whatisgender.net because

1. I was new and I didn't know how to word things correctly and I kind of felt embarrioused because of that.

2. I was going through a rough time and I felt that I needed to find a spiciffic term for my attraction type which they told me not to worry about, stop posting the same question over and over. (Don't worry, I wouldn't do this again)

3. They were angry with me because I would ask where I can find Masculine women that like Androgynous guys like me but in Stereotypical terms like (Where can I find Butch, Genderqueer, Masculine Tomboys, etc). I can understand now why they were angry with me using stereotypes as examples. Like I said before, I was new to the LGBT and Gender communities so I didn't know how to say certain things correctly like try to stay away from stereotypes and the Gender binary system. They told me that this was NOT a dating site and gave me a warning. So I just left and gave myself time to think about what I've done wrong on the site and tried to learn from that.

Anyways, don't worry. I've learned my lesson on how to word things, not to post the same questions over and over, and to say away from certain labels and not worry about being a label and stuff like that.

Around the time I was kind of in depression because I was afriad that I was going to be single for the rest of my life noticing back then that a good percentage of Masculine Women are attracted to the same sex.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hi, Ericc.....Welcome to the Playground! Come in and look around..we'll try to understand what you are saying and not be judgemental...sometimes it's hard to get a point across and not offend someone.

Have a seat...I think some of that pecan pie is getting some action...have a slice...

Nice to have you here

Donna Jean

[Sally]

Welcome to the forum, I'm sure that you have looked over the rules here and know that it is not a dating site - it is here for your support and education!

I have to admit that I am a bit confused about what Androgynous really is. I understand (pretty well0 Transsexual MTF, but I have trouble figuring out why anybody would want to go the other way!

Seriously, I have personal experience with cross dressing and I know what it feels like to be transsexual, but I have never had the feeling or experience of Androgyny.

So while I might not be able to help you with specific details, I will be here to support you and comfort you when needed and to celebrate when things go well!

I just noticed that Donna Jean is one your post right now, we tend to try to be the first to greet everyone! We like for you to know that you are welcome and it is a safe and friendly place.

We also like to offer Hot Cocoa (with or without minn marshmellows), cookies and a comfy chair!

I hope that you like it here and enjoy the company and the cookies!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest ericc]

Thank you for your kind welcomes.

[Guest jantonio]

Hi ericc and welcome to the playground.

Jose Antonio...

[Guest ericc]

I'm sorry, I really am. I totally forgot that I posted this introduction.

I just made one that is up to date.

I just don't want to get in trouble for posting the same thread by mistake and being called spam or something.

I'm going to try to delete my latest one now

Thanks

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Ericc

WELCOME-WELCOME-WELCOME

I am like everyone else here - interested in deciding where I fit in this world. I may succeed, I may not. I have thought I was many things through the years, but I finally was told what I am by a therapist.

I don't know about your resouces, but if you want a roadmap to see where you are, and where you can go, a gender specialist therapist is really a help. And if you find a good one they won't judge, scold or try to "cure" you. They are only interested in making you mentally at peace.

Worked for me!

And as to finding a mate? Like Sally said- look over the rules - and there is little info on dating as its really not a dating service site. But we won't yell at you if you can't find the right words - we don't do that here. But keep your head up, there is ALWAYS someone for everyone, out there.

And I am sooooo curious about the androgyne idea. I am MTF and in transition. I am going from masculine male - to effeminate male - to androgyne - to masculine female - to feminine female, on my journey. So I will be there at androgyne for a while.... hummmmm, how will people react?

And there are plenty of people going the other way, are already somewhere and like it, are intersex, or are just gender-neutral. Some are very young, some are in the middle, some are seriously senior.

Look around and ask questions, post some opinions, and don't forget the chat room as it is protected.

Good luck on your jouney of self exploration.

[Guest ericc]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to give out an update. My parents are starting to notice that I'm speaking to them less and I'm afraid that pretty soon they will discover that I'm Androgyne / Bigender attracted to Women who identify as Masculine and be shocked on not pleased. My parents are homophobic and my fear is that if they ever find out, they will yell at me and call me the "Q" word in a very discriminating manner. I always hide my books and pictures of Masculine Women underneith by bed and sometimes bring it with me in a bad when I'm out so they could never find it. I'll be on my own in 6 months and I'm trying to plan a new life for myself, one where I don't need to be ashamed that I'm Androgynous / Bigender and my love for Masculine Women.

I'm really scared now because not only do I think my parents are getting closer and closer to knowing my secret but I can't find any social groups that I can interact with people besides the internet.

Living with my parents is getting very tired-some. I'm sick and tired of pretending that I'm the adverage masculine man. That's not me. I'm not masculine. I'm still angry at my father wanting me to use AXE Masculine protucts. They don't belong on me.

I'm currently checking out the Transgender dating sites that Laura's Playground suggests. I think I registerd all of them that is associated with Androgyne people like myself.

I really would like to hang out and date Women who identify as Masculine but from what I noticed, either they are men trapped in a women's body or they are Lesbian. I feel so rare.

I must have explained this but I feel that my gender changes through out the day.

Most of the time, I'm Androgyne.

When I'm having wild fun or joking around with my sick and twisted sense of humor, I feel Masculine.

When I see or talk to a Women who identifies as Masculine, I feel Feminine.

Sorry, I hope I didn't type too much. Laura's Playground is the only site that I know of that I can talk about these feelings with.

[Guest androgynous]

Hi ericc!

Hi everyone, I just wanted to give out an update. My parents are starting to notice that I'm speaking to them less and I'm afraid that pretty soon they will discover that I'm Androgyne / Bigender attracted to Women who identify as Masculine and be shocked on not pleased. My parents are homophobic and my fear is that if they ever find out, they will yell at me and call me the "Q" word in a very discriminating manner. I always hide my books and pictures of Masculine Women underneith by bed and sometimes bring it with me in a bad when I'm out so they could never find it. I'll be on my own in 6 months and I'm trying to plan a new life for myself, one where I don't need to be ashamed that I'm Androgynous / Bigender and my love for Masculine Women.

If I were you I would wait the 6 months, otherwise it could be a very desperate time to sit through if they don't accept your views. Personally I would be silent about it for now, and possibly reveal it after those 6 months , or never at all. It's just like sex life, they don't have to know everything about you, do they? no of course not. My bet is that they will need time to understand you, and probably can't do it in 6 months. Also, you will get into arguments, and maybe throwing words to each other. Remember that this will bring a bout a change for them in a social manner. They're probably so conditioned that it would not make sense to them, and so they will continue to explain why they think it don't makes sense. In such case, please don't fight back. I know it's tempting. But it's better to listen to what they have to say instead of throwing back arguments, because you probably will never convince them of what you feel.

I'm really scared now because not only do I think my parents are getting closer and closer to knowing my secret but I can't find any social groups that I can interact with people besides the internet.

Living with my parents is getting very tired-some. I'm sick and tired of pretending that I'm the adverage masculine man. That's not me. I'm not masculine. I'm still angry at my father wanting me to use AXE Masculine protucts. They don't belong on me.

Yes, well you can say that AXE products are bad for your armpits, because it's a spray. A arm spray will clog up armpit-glands (i had that once) so now I use unisex-deodorant, a roller instead of spray.

I'm currently checking out the Transgender dating sites that Laura's Playground suggests. I think I registerd all of them that is associated with Androgyne people like myself.

Good to see you here.

I really would like to hang out and date Women who identify as Masculine but from what I noticed, either they are men trapped in a women's body or they are Lesbian. I feel so rare.

Pretty much everybody is rare, it varies how other people perceive you. But there are stranger people in life! Don't worry, all will come true when you want it too. Just keep faith in yourself, and don't rush into things to quickly (how tempting, I know).

I must have explained this but I feel that my gender changes through out the day.

Most of the time, I'm Androgyne.

When I'm having wild fun or joking around with my sick and twisted sense of humor, I feel Masculine.

When I see or talk to a Women who identifies as Masculine, I feel Feminine.

Sorry, I hope I didn't type too much. Laura's Playground is the only site that I know of that I can talk about these feelings with.

I have the same, changes all day. Feels good though, I can do what I want because I feel that way.

[Guest mia 1]

Ericc even us old androgynes have times of great confusion I'm in my sixties now and finally with the help of friends at Laura's, therapy and one of the most understanding wives in the USA am coming to grips with our lifestyle. Be patient and do more listening and less assuming.

It's natural for Dad's to want their "boy'' to use the same products they do.

Your parents love you give them time to understand who you really are,a nd do it slowly. There is no rush....feel free to PM me you already have 5 posts and can recieve and send PM's.

Being androgynous is a wonderful life once you accept who you are. You are on the right path now and your eyes are open.

Believe me whenI was growing up no one knew about this category,we were considerd confused and if we got caught wearing Mom's clothes we were set right and told we were weird and we had to promise never to do that again. That kind of "parental behavior limited you into thinking that and dead ended any exploring and explanation why you were different than other boys and why girls were so easy to identify with. Etc. so now with all this support believe me you are one lucky generation..Hugs of support and kindness,,,Mia.

[Guest androgynous]

Another option is to write them a letter when your on your own. The advantage of writing a letter is that you and they can't run into arguments, and this can possibly discharge the tension a little bit. But again, personally I would not speak about it in those couple of months. You might want to get it off your chest, but think twice before doing that please. They already see you are going away, and they start to think if they cared enough for you as a parent, that alone creates enough tension already. I think that one part of androgyny is also understanding, understanding that a lot of people will not understand you. You have a gift if you can. So a little diplomacy is advised.

I too bailed out from my parents when I turned 18 and left in a rage, and I still regret that. Being 31 now, I can relate more and more, and understand that no-one is right or wrong, everybody is right and wrong. It's all about a personal opinion and you can't hate people for their opinion because they don't know better. It's like being intelligent, that comes with the responsibility to accept that some people do some unintelligent things, can you hold them accountable for it? I don't think so, nor can they hold you accountable for having a different gender, or gender spectrum. But that doesn't mean you have the freedom to provoke and create tension and imbalance your relation with your parents. If you do all you can do to respect them, and they don't respect you back, then I would leave it be.

I always say: You can't pick your family, only your friends.

Good luck, and enjoy who you are. You deserve the world.

[Guest Kelly Ann]

Hello Ericc...it IS strange how one's outlook changes throughout the day, it does take a little getting used to...I've always thought of it as upshifting and downshifting on a really good mountain road, it makes me go wheeee. Your a very smart person to have identified something that can be EXTREEMLY difficult to assess. I accepted myself...ahem...some number of years ago...for just who I am and accept nothing more nor less than that from ME. Hmmmm...that somehow describes just how I look at others too. I hope you find...nah, make that...I know you'll find someone...when you do and your together at your folk's place for the first time I'm sure that it will be a LOT different than your imagining now. Hey some of the Axe stuff isn't too bad...LOL...I have to be careful because ANYTHING I use that has a scent stays with me like...until I shower. Normally I use Oil of Olay body wash because it's not too oderiffic...er oderifferous...hmmm...nope, ah obvious. I've used a couple of those Axe body washes and people at work asked what colonge or perfume I was wearing...there's a couple of scent cup cake's there so I have to be somewhat careful...so when your in the store sometime check out the different scents of body wash...LOL get one that's REALLY POTENT! I'll place a snicker doodle wager that he never buys you any toiletries again...if he mentions anything just tell him how much you really LIKE Axe. I am so laughing about this...the commercials used to say to mix and match them...OMGosh...I can't even imagine that with this twisted noodle bowl brain of mine. Waaay too smelly Kelly Ann

[Guest Irielle]

Hi Ericc

I am androgyne also and can relate to you and your feelings. Sometimes I feel masculine but more often I feel feminine. A lot of it depends upon my environment. When I am here I feel very feminine and generally identify as female. At work, or often out in the world I am more masculine. At home either alone or with friends I’m more feminine. I was born genetic male but should have been born genetic female. I still would be androgyne either way. I wear both boy and girl clothes and interchange them depending upon my mood.

It’s funny how fast and how often my gender identity can change. The other day I was shopping and went into Victoria’s Secret to buy a bra and some panties and had three saleswomen helping me and I was over towards my female side. Then I walked over to the bookstore to look at home repair books and I slid into male mode. Then next door was the kitchen store and I went girly again looking at mixers and cooking stuff and discussing recipes with the lady there.

And all the while I am checking out the other people, both males and females because I’m attracted to both.

Androgyny is strange and we don’t have a road map except the one we make for ourselves. I’ve tried to be totally male and can’t do it. I’ve tried to be totally female and can’t do that either. But I can float in between with some of each and that is where I am happy and I hope you are too.

Don’t worry, there is someone out there for you and you will find hir.

I don’t know about your parents but I think I’d wait until you are out on your own. Six months seems forever but it will go fast. Some people have enough trouble dealing with gay people. Androgynes are from totally different universe. We have enough trouble understanding ourselves, imagine how hard we are for non-andros to understand.

I came out as gay first, and then later let that evolve into androgyny. I’m not necessarily recommending that but it felt right for me.

I picture most people as living in a world of black and white, we andros live in full color. That helps me make sense of my world.

The people here are wonderful and you are not alone.

A good therapist is a must! Your feelings will never lie to you. A big hug from me