Yet another update

[Guest jennifer_m]

So I finally got around to doing some more clothes shopping, I haven't gotten any outerwear yet, but at least I've figured out the sizes of my other stuff. Wore them all day Thursday and Friday at home. Felt good.

Haven't come out to my mother yet. We had lunch last week and I got this vibe that she doesn't want me to transition. But the truth is, I've always tried to please other people my whole life, and I need to start paying attention to me. One of these days I'll tell her.

Been having up and down days, because I've been spending most of my time alone. It's hard to make friends with women when you look like a man wearing women's clothing. Some days I just feel so lost. I even felt like digging up an old friendship that went belly-up, to see if she might be there for me. I really hope it doesn't come to that, because our relationship ended badly, and to make a long story short, I don't think she wants to see me. So I probably won't go that route. I don't think I would be welcome in a lesbian bar looking the way I do.

Still debating on whether or not to go to a local support group. I really hope it's not like AA, where people sit in a circle and talk about themselves one by one... I'm not much for public speaking, but at least I would be able to meet my local peers and have someone to talk to. They might even be able to find me a local GT or point me in the direction of someone I can get HRT from.

I'm also still debating on talking to my doctor about the whole thing, but I'm concerned he might ship me off to CAMH/Clark, and I really don't want that, especially after seeing Amanda talk about how bad it is there.

But progress is better than no progress. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll meet someone I can look up to as a female role model (aside from my mother), and a friend.

Just thought I'd post an update, even if it's not much of one.

Bye for now!

[Charlize]

Good luck dear and thanks for the post. The support group sounds great. many of them have cis women come in and do makeup lessons etc. Its always better from women as they were socialized by women but any interactions are helpful in finding yourself.

Hugs and keep us posted,

Charlie

[Guest angels wings]

Hello Jennifer thanks for the update . Glad you got some new stuff to wear . There is something about buying something new to wear , always gives us such a good feeling . Wishing you all the best . Remember one day at a time

Angel ((( hugs))))