Name change while serving. :)

[Guest Caroline Anne]

Hey,

As someone whom I love dearly says in her tagline on Laura's: "what a long strange trip it's been", I have to agree.

So here's the story.

My name was legally changed to Caroline Anne last week. The difficulty? I'm still in the National Guard. Insane? Maybe. I guess we'll see.

Here's the back story..........

I'm still serving in the Guard. Technically. I've been on a long transition, starting HRT in Dec 2009. I had hoped that I could finish my four years and retire before Caroline was ready. I realized I wasn't going to make it last fall when I had my first suicide attempt and subsequent breakup of my marriage and moving out to start a life of my own with people who will love me for who I am.

I was still drilling and didn't tell my Guard unit of that hospitalization. I drilled until May when I attempted suicide the Saturday evening of a Saturday/Sunday drill weekend. Through the brave help of a dear friend, I survived and I am grateful. The next day my unit held a Periodic Health Assessment where we get poked and prodded and more importantly talk to mental health professionals.

I talked. They listened and then took me to a mental health facility for assessment. I really didn't want to go, but saw an opening for discharge.

I already have a permanent profile for PTSD and this was what I was admitted for. I did come out to the National Guard mental health professional during our talk and to her this wasn't an issue and her concern was that I get help.

So, I spent two and a half days cooling out at the hospital.

I got discharged with a P4 mental health profile, which now puts me on a faster track for discharge. The strange thing is that I have about a year and a half before my 20 year retirement, it's possible that my medical discharge could take about this long. That's insane.

Anyway, the next activity for me and my National Guard unit was our two week annual training. I attended, but since I wasn't allowed to even hold a weapon, a lot of the activities that are scheduled would not be available to me. A third wheel and flat is what I was. I was told to report to the unit and to spend my two weeks working on computers.

I worked on computers for about three days, when I was told that "oops, you didn't have to show up after all and furthermore, don't come back. you don't have to drill, but you won't get paid". They want me to be available to come in if needed for paperwork or to turn in equipment and wait for medical discharge. I've turned in all of my field gear (yay!); everything but uniforms. It's such a great feeling to get rid of the field gear.

That was back in June.

I decided that I wasn't go to and couldn't wait for a medical discharge that might or might not come anytime soon. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to wait and a great deal of mental turmoil was expended trying to wait and be a good soldier.

My civilian employer knows about Caroline and I've been blessed to have found a very understanding company that says they will stick by me. So, my plans accelerated. I am going to go full time as Caroline in work and life October 1st. My company said that the only thing they could do for me without a legal name change is to give me an "alias" in our computer system only. I would still be known and could possibly be addressed as my evil twin. My pay would still go to him as well as the risk of outing myself every time I got on the phone with my people. I'm a field service engineer so my job is in a different location than the corporate clones.

My task at that point was to change my name, ssi and driver's license before Oct 1. My name was legally changed this past week and as soon as this hurricane is gone, I'll get my ssi and drivers license changed.

Ok, so the big question is what now? How do I manage a name change and still be in the Guard?

That's a great question.

Basically, I'm crossing my fingers. I have friends in good places in the Guard and I'm told that they will not know unless I get paid. I probably won't because I don't drill anymore, but if there were some monies due to me, I'm told that the only thing that would happen is that my pay would be kicked out and that I would be sent a paper check. I guess we'll see.

The big problems I see is that I am Caroline now and trying to go back to being him for purposes of closing out my military career will be very hard. I'm not sure how this next chapter is going to work, but I'm sure that I'm one of the few people that have transitioned this far and have gotten a name change while still serving. I'm not bragging, this is just how things are panning out.

Oh, the big test is that I was only called twice for help so far during this hurricane and no one suggested that I be at a certain place and time. Yay me!

I'm happy.

[Guest angels wings]

Hello Caroline . I'm sorry I don't have any advice . Hopefully some other members will. Wishing you all the best .

Angel

[KathrynJulia]

Caroline Anne

You are in a different time than I had in the 1970's. I was forced to process discharge papers for service people and it was heart wrenching to watch the humiliation these service members faced. They can't kick out Gay and Lesbian Service Members now. But back then, the prejudice was so thick in the 1970's Army, that a gay service member was in physical danger.

I hope that you get to retire and that they treat you with the respect and honor you deserve through your sacrifice and service. I actually hung up my Honorable Discharge certificate in my office last night. I know what it is like to be spit on because I was in uniform. It was a real coward who could act that way. So I have been very supportive of our Iraq and Afganistan war vets. And to all the men and woman who served. You all deserve our respect for your service to our country.

Kathryn

[Ravin]

I suggest you call the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network hotline. They give free legal advice and might be able to help you. The number is 1-800-538-7418. Their website is www.sldn.org

[Guest Emma Frank]

Hey Caroline, I know exactly what you are going through. I just recieved my Honorable Discharge certificate from the Maine ARNG on 30AUG12. I really hope they let you finish things out but it is hard to tell. When i went to Medcom and outted myself to them, they said "I need to check with NGB to see what regulations that falls under, because you might be able to take a 2yr IRR and transition back in", Medcom and my unit were very supportive, however NGB showed medcom clearly in black and white why i could no longer be in the US ARNG. I expected 4-6 month process to be removed, and i recieved my NGB22 and certificate 4 days later. My discharge was an administrative discharge under chapter 3-55 "Gender Identity Disorder" so im not sure how long your process will take or not. But on a good note, most training NCO's and retention NCO's seem to be pretty understanding, as does Medcom. I think your name change should be ok at unit level, but on a higher level, they might change your discharge from medical to admin, which is a much faster process. I wish the best of luck to you and hope you get to finish your 20. I served 9, almost 10 years before i outed myself to my unit. I did so once my hormones had me showing enough that I couldnt hide it from them anymore.

Greatest of Luck and God Bless

Emma

[Guest crissy_oakley]

I read this post with some interest. I am, currently, transitioning and am on active duty. I will be going on terminal leave in July of 2014 and planned on doing my offical name change then. I had actually thought of doing it now. There is nothing the military can do to you for changing your name. However, the command can make things difficult for you. It is only when you change your gender, when you will be faced with discharge.

[Guest CindyLouCovington]

Keep your spirits up Caroline, you can make it!