6 Month RLT Cliff Notes Review

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

"It's been interesting"

...too short? Well that's my Cliff's Notes/Reader's Digest/nutshell review. "It's been interesting". You want something more in-depth? Something meaty like Campbell's Thick & Hearty soup? Alright buckle in, I'll give it to ya.

I didn't realize it's been 6 months. I don't even know the exact date I went full-time. All I remember is one weekend I was in Indianapolis. I had spent from Friday - Sunday as a girl and I loved it and I thought, ya know, let's just stay this way and keep doing this until I either can't do it any more or for some reason I have to switch back.

I'm still doing it. Now granted I already had a few things working in my favor. My name was already changed. My company already said they supported me. My family was supporting me, so really the only thing stopping me.....WAS ME! I've always been a bit of a chicken. I don't gamble. Rarely play the lottery. I'm a conservative driver. I don't take risks, I prefer the sure thing.

The last six months have been...interesting, There's been some ups, there have been some downs. There have been a considerable more amount of ups than downs and I think that's what has kept me motivated. The compliments I have received have been incredible, as I never really expected any of them. The attention I've received from guys has been incredible, as I never really expected any of it. The random conversations with total strangers have been incredible as I never really expected it and it caught me off guard at first because I didn't realize how sociable women can be at times. Being treated as a woman has it's ups and downs. Having the door held open for me is always nice. Having someone go out of their way to hold a door is really special. Having someone almost break their leg and drop everything turning around because they realize on their way out the door a woman is behind them is both sweet and humbling. However, being talked to like an idiot is not sweet. Mechanics, I'm looking at you. Having your opinion on a matter dismissed because "she's a girl, she doesn't know what she's talking about" is never fun. On the other hand, when someone just looks at you and their eyes lit up and smile is nice. I've had that happen a few times.

I don't think of myself as pretty. I'm average. I'd go on a limb and say I'm pretty average. I try to dress better than other lady truckers out here and I think guys notice that and appreciate it. I have found that as a result of having higher standards for myself, I end up having conversations with other women, in the last likely of places, about girl stuff...like talking about makeup to a truck stop diner. That I never expected. Or explaining my fake engagement ring to a nail tech while in the comfort and solitude of a women-only environment and having her give me a thumb's up. Or the truck stop waitress, who after hearing about this ring said "omg that's a great idea!" I'm sure other women have thought of this before me, I'm just sad the memo didn't get around to everyone.

I've been to some scary places, yes. I've walked across some parking lots at night. I'm always aware of my surroundings as I have found I'm a little more paranoid as a woman than I used to be before. I'm now armed with pepper spray so now the bad people really have a reason to worry! Also anyone in the area because I've got bad aim. Hey I was never good with aiming a gun! There have been a few places where I was going to stop for the night, didn't like the feeling I was getting, and went somewhere else. I've had guys check me out while driving down the road. I wished they didn't and just paid attention to what they're doing but what can you do.

Prior to full time I had been perfecting my skills in makeup, fashion, manners, basically all things related to life in the other camp. I looked at RLT as the test and how well I studied. Have I made mistakes? A few, but not many. There are some things I'm just not going to be able to change and I've accepted that. The most obvious is talking on the phone. I'm going to get called sir most of the time, so there's nothing I can do about that. Just let it go and move on. Besides, I'm not on the phone often and some of my friends, who were born with the factory installed parts have been called sir so I'm in good company. I've made peace with it. I don't stress about it, I just move on from it.

One thing I really have enjoyed thus far is the freedom of color. Before all this my clothes were either black, grey, dark green or dark blue. Now I'm able to wear colors and it's no big deal. I can wear pink if I want to. I can wear red if I want to. I can wear that baby blue with white polka dots tank top and not only is it okay, but people tell me it's really cute. I can do my nails dark red if I want to and that's okay. I can paint them black and that's okay. I can paint them hot pink and that is perfectly okay because I'm a girl and we're allowed to do that. I can wear my hair down if I want to deal with it, I can wear my hair up if it's a bad hair day or I just don't want to deal with it.

I was really nervous the first couple weeks of living full time. Everything, although familiar, was brand new because I was doing it as the other gender. I had been to our terminal before..but now it's different because I'm doing it as a girl, the attention will be different, the treatment will be different, the social interactions will be different. I've been to a truck stop before, but again it's going to be much different because I'm a girl. Again the attention will be different, the treatment will be different, and the wait for the bathroom could be longer.

Speaking of bathrooms! Holy moley is that different! I had no idea how quiet women release bodily functions and waste. Well, certain things there's no control because it's like a flood gate opening up but other things are waaaay different. That other function is done as quiet and stealthily as possible. Now I found out why women take so long in the bathroom..they have to be quiet and discreet about their bodily functions, and that takes time my friend. Back in the other camp you could be noisy and that's okay. I've even heard groans coming from a stall once. You never hear that in the women's. At most you might hear a little squeak of gas but nothing loud and bellowing. I also found out that noone's checking to see how your feet are positioned while sitting at the toilet. Also noone's listening to hear how you're doing #1. Noone cares. Just act like everyone else and you're fine.

Which brings me to my final point: look the part, act the part, be the part and you will fit in fine.

Look like a woman - you don't have to be the most gorgeous feminine creature out there. You don't have to be the most hideous creature out there. Just aim to fall somewhere in the middle, which I think most of us try to do anyway.

Act the part - know what's okay and not okay for female behavior. Know what you're supposed to do and what's a faux pas. Learn the basics of female behavior and that can be applied to just about every scenario you'll encounter. Remember to always be polite and smile. Even if you have no idea what to do or what you should be doing, being polite and wearing a smile should be where you at least start from. The rest you can figure out as you go along.

Be the part - you're looking like a woman, you're acting like a woman, now accept and believe in yourself that you ARE a woman. Even if you don't believe it yourself, fake it! Trust in your skills and pull from everything you've learned and practiced up to this point. If something goes wrong, take an honest assessment of what happened and why. Learn from it, grow from it and move on from it. If you need to vent or cry about it, go ahead but don't take too long. You're allowed to feel some emotions if something didn't work out as planned but set a time to deal with it and then move on. Don't dwell on it or you'll be stuck in that rut. If that situation comes up again, remember not to repeat what didn't work and try something else. Once you find out what does work, consider similar situations or scenarios where it might come up again so you can be prepared for it.

Remember: google and youtube are your friends! There are a lot of videos and websites with basic tutorial stuff. Not sure how to do eyeliner? Google it! Not sure how to dress for your body type? Google it! Not even sure what your body type is? Google it! Noone is going to take your hand and walk you through the transition process. You have to do it for yourself. You have to want to do it. Noone taught me makeup, I taught myself though reading websites, watching videos, asking my friends and then doing it and getting feedback from my friends. Then I'd read some more. Watch some more. Practice some more then ask my friends again.

Most importantly, get honest feedback. How helpful is it going to be that no matter what you do someone says "You look great!"? Get feedback from friends and people you trust. Ask them, "how do I look, and be honest." Let them know you want some honest feedback, not just an ego boost. Ask them what looks good, what's okay, and what really should be fixed or addressed. I still ask my friends for feedback even now. I know I'm doing everything right but getting opinions every now and then, to me, helps me in case maybe I overlooked something or if maybe my standards have slipped because I got lazy or whatever. If you get some negative feedback, don't take it personally! Don't beat yourself up over it. Fix what needs to be fixed and move on. If it's a quick fix: fix it now. If it's going to take a little time: get a plan in action to get it fixed. if it's going to be a long-term fix: make plans that will eventually get set in motion to fix it. Don't dwell on the problem, fix the problem!

..weird, this was just supposed to be a review of my last 6 months RLT.

TL;DR: it's been interesting.

[Guest Pammy]

Congratulations Lizzie. You made it!

[Guest Maria_B]

Now that you've accomplished 6 months RLT, I think you need to do 6 months stand up comedy You're a gorgeous and hilarious soul, so yeah,

[Guest rikkicd64]

I am so happy for you Lizzie, like you ,I am at six months and loving it. You give some good advice for anyone about to go RLT, may the next six months be even more wonderful!!

Rikki...

[Guest MsGsptlsnz]

you don't have to be the most gorgeous feminine creature out there. You don't have to be the most hideous creature out there. Just aim to fall somewhere in the middle, which I think most of us try to do anyway.

Like all things in life it comes down to this, "you don't have to outrun the bear, just the person next to you..."

[Guest LizMarie]

Now that you've accomplished 6 months RLT, I think you need to do 6 months stand up comedy You're a gorgeous and hilarious soul, so yeah,

I agree with Maria!

[Guest MsPerseveres]

What a great synopsis, and set of advice for those still getting ready to go RLT! I agree with the stand up comedy recommendations, and I love the realistic view of what we need to look like - I've started looking at women more in terms of how I think that I'll fit in the looks spectrum, and I think that I can handle middle of the road (although gorgeous might have some perks ;-).

Thank you!

Hugs, Brenda

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Being on the road actually worked to my advantage while I was getting ready for full time. I'd take a weekend off and lug my stuff up to a hotel room and be a girl for the weekend. I'd start as soon as I got into the room and got settled. Take a shower and put on girl clothes. If it was still early in the day I'd put on makeup. Naturally I'd need something to eat so if there wasn't a restaurant nearby, I'd order pizza. This way I'd get some interaction, albeit brief, and I'd see how my female presentation worked. I'd also have to do laundry so I'd lug my dirty clothes to the laundry room and there was always that chance of having to pass someone in the hall or run into someone also doing laundry. Once again, opportunities for interaction and seeing not only if I'd be treated as a woman but how I would be treated as a woman. I wasn't quite sure how I'd be treated or how other women would treat me, if they'd even say something to me but hey, you can't find out if you don't get out there and do it. Best part, if things didn't go well or I screwed up, like using the wrong voice or whatever, I was out of there in a day or two and most likely wouldn't be back in the area for a long time.

As things were more successful I'd plan more things to do as a girl, though still confined to the area of the hotel. One time I told myself that I would pay cash for the pizza instead. Well I didn't have cash on me so I had to walk down to the lobby to see if they had an ATM, if not I had to walk down the street to the gas station to use the ATM. So there I was, in broad daylight, putting myself out there and walking down the street to the ATM, a grin on my face as I'm out in the world as myself. Another time I went and used the hotel pool. Granted there wasn't anyone in there but I still had to walk to the hotel pool, in a one-piece bathing suit which made me feel even more exposed and vulnerable than what I'm used to. I'm just glad I shaved my legs the day before. Well, okay I knew I was planning to use the pool the following day so I kinda had to make myself shave my legs so I wouldn't be hideous.

So yeah, even if you can't go to a hotel for a weekend, do the girl thing and then order a pizza. If you're nervous about your voice on the phone, Dominos, Pizza Hut and Papa Johns all have websites you can order online through. Then in 30 minutes or less you have a chance where the delivery driver could call you ma'am. If so, you should really tip them an extra dollar.