In Need Of Serious Advice About Women

[Guest Jackson]

Alright, as the topic says, I really need a little advice on women. This might be long as I've got to state my case:

There's this nurse I've been interested in since September. I took her out for a beer for her 40th birthday. Friends and coworkers saw it as a date, but it officially wasn't. We were just going to be friends. We ended up in her kitchen necking.

Then, ten days later, she called me to say she didn't think we could be friends due to the gossip going around at work. Now this is a woman who loves to be gossiped about, but this was just a little too much. So as long as we worked at the same hospital, we could only have a professional relationship. This was at the end of September.

It doesn't end there. So we see each other at work once in a while. Every time I see her, we end up in a not-so-professional conversation started by her telling me about personal things in her life. If anyone has ever seen the TV show "Scrubs", we even had a JD-in-thought moment in front of a patient. It was pretty funny.

So I see her the day after Thanksgiving. By this time, my badge has my new name on in. She played with it for a moment before telling me what her family holiday plans were.

It doesn't end there. She then, out of the blue, texts me for my address so she can send me a Christmas and birthday card. Part of the text messaging included something we'd talked about way back on the night we went out for her birthday. And she did send me cards. She even wrote in the birthday card about her being proud to be friends.

Then there was last Saturday, my birthday. She text me a happy birthday. Today I find out that she called down to the pharmacy to see if I was working and told a coworker to wish me happy birthday.

So that's the story. Now here's my question: It does sound like she's interested, doesn't she?

I realize that us guys may not get it, but I was hoping for a little female input here too. Even before this a few people I've related this story to have said that it does sound like she's gotten over whatever it was that was bugging her before. I also need to mention that she does have a boyfriend right now. So there isn't any gossip at work about us either. I'm asking, not because I can't take a hint, but I really really want to believe that she's doing this because she really is interested.

I do realize that I may be playing with fire. I'm also pretty sure that this relationship she has with this boyfriend is not of the permanent kind. But there is just something about this woman that I cannot help being drawn to. Almost like a kindred spirit.

It's almost like riding a bull at the rodeo. You know that the fall and that impact at the end is going to hurt real bad, but that eight seconds (or so) of that ride will be so worth it.

[Guest Jodytg]

hello, I'm sorry but yes it does sound like she is interested. Now the question is are you willing to be thrown? Again I'm sorry but it sounds like you are. Why am I sorry because I have hit the ground several times and each time the lady in question has been able to throw me harder than the last. But I still agree with you the ride ....oh the ride..I love /hate the wonderful crazy ride.

Good Luck

Jody

[Guest Evan_J]

I dunno about "interested" as in "for the rest of your life, hearts, and flowers" cuz thats something ony you and her will know really, but she definately is turned on by you and wants to do you. She might be more at ease with the suggestive/tempting you since there isn't any longer gossip about it -a fact that maybe due to the existence of an "acceptable" boyfriend to the public. For me, based on the non-trustworthy women where I live- I'll say don't buy it. At least not on an emotional level. Often women with this set up (the "legitimizing" boyfriend) want the sex but not to be "publicly" regarded as being with the unacceptable/"controversial" individual. My advice: watch your back.

[Guest bronx]

She is interested in you, but I think she's playing it safe. I think you should take your time get to know her a little bit more and flirt. I'm a guy and The one thing I do like to do with a female when I know that she's interested in me is flirt, that way I can see how far she wants to go, figure out how far I want to go, and boost my male ego at the same time. Have fun. As far as her boyfriend goes, that's all on her.

[Guest leo]

I dunno about "interested" as in "for the rest of your life, hearts, and flowers" cuz thats something ony you and her will know really, but she definately is turned on by you and wants to do you.

haha Evan i love the bluntness, reminds me of how i talk.

back to the topic, what i do if im interested in a women is i pluck up loads of courage either face to face or by text or something and say "i really need to know if you like me or not and in what way, its important for me to know"

[Sally]

From my 'past life experience' as a guy I would be very encouraged that she was interested, but concerned about the boyfriend - from the what is he going to do if I start dating her aspect.

From my 'present life perspective' as a woman I would have to say that with the presence of the 'legitimizing' boyfriend she could well just be flirting, for some women it is the only way that they know of to talk to a man. The boyfriend is the main concern here also, but for a different reason - if she's with him and flirting with you, how are you going to deal with her flirting with another guy when she is with you?

It is a pattern and you will be setting yourself up for a fall. So you must ask yourself one question, "Do I want to be with her badly enough to take that fall?"

Your answer will tell you what to do,

OMG! That sure sounded like motherly advice didn't it?

What am I going to be like once I start my hormones?

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Ahhh - heck. Life is short. Take a chance - if she dumps you so be it - just enjoy the ride.

Darn hormones must be slacking today - sound like my daddy...

Okay - my mom would say:

Sweety, just be careful. Take it slow. I know you have a lot to offer, but she may just not be able to accept it all. I hope it works out for you.

I say: why not?

[Guest Crossroads]

So, since you asked for feminine response, I went to get my partner:

"So this is what I think. She is not interested. Women talk about personal life and problems to anyone who won't ask them to shut up. We even annoy each other with it. I don't even think its flirting. I've got a huge list of friends, boys included that I'm sending cards to. The same with b-days. It's probably just how she is. I just don't see anything that makes it seem like she is looking to hook up or anything. Don't over analyze, women are a confusing yet simple race. <3, Angie ~.~"

So back to Jules. I think just using that kiss face is flirting (the ~.~). So I'd probably think any inkling of a look from someone I was interested in was flirting. But you have to look at it objectively. Even in a professional relationship, people talk about personal stuff. It gets through the day. Most women will be PAINFULLY obvious about whether they're attracted or not. Most women try to be obvious because they know men are hard to get through to because we get confused easily. (Angie just corrected me and said that when a woman likes a guy, they ignore them. O.o I'm so confused.) And I'm one to think that if she was so "worried" before about how things would look, then she will be "worried" now about the same thing. Seems unreasonable to me even if she WAS interested.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Without having detailed info about the situation, I can't say if she seems interested or not. Maybe...maybe not... it's hard to speculate.

What I can say is that you should just steer clear. If she's using the "not comfortable with this and that" excuse, that's going to be an issue. I dated someone who "wasn't comfortable with stuff". We loved each other. It was great. Then I got my heart broken, stomped, destroyed, and nuked. If it were me in your situation, I'd cut my losses now and look for someone a bit more laid back. Trust me, there are some seriously laid back women out there...as I recently discovered.

[Guest Jackson]

Thanks for all the advice.

I realize that she is not the forever woman for me. Maybe she won't be anything for me. I just really wanted to be sure if I should be realistic and not hope for something more. I really don't mind flirting with her. And I can live with it ever only being that too. She is the flirting type too. In terms of the personal stuff, I'm just really surprised that she's talking about it because it does seem that she's doing it very deliberately. So maybe she is just playing me. I can handle that.

I'm not really doing much of anything in terms of this. I think it'll just be something more like a flirting thing than anything else. Who knows? I'm not going to bet the farm on it though.

Although, of course, I'd never say no if she wanted to do me either.