A bit of a setback

[Guest Nicole9]

Hi all,

Ok so first off sorry if this is in the wrong place (still new here)

So where to start. I had the whole revelation a couple of months about who I really am and leaped at the opportunity to start my journey. So things have been going swimmingly. Came out to a close friend, started a wardrobe collecting, planning the first outing as Nicole, plans to start seeing a GT and lots of study for uni Was planning a coming out letter to the folks (still live at home and figured I should if I was going to rock up en-female one day.) However I was very unsure how my mother would take to this (the possibility of being kicked out was always in the back of my mind, and even being financially dependent on them I was prepared to take the risk.) Anyway a couple of days before I was going to sit down with her she tells me that she has some medical serious medical concerns and honestly I think she would snap now and just tell me to urine off if I told her now. Long story short everything has been set back a year or till im able to finish uni, get a job, move out, be able to support myself ect. So I guess the point of my rant is do I just come out and tell her everything and risk (and when I say risk id give it 99.99% chance of being kicked out) being kicked out of home or do I suck it up for the rest of the year and how?

[JJ]

That is a very hard place to be in. Normally I advocate people being themselves as much as possible because of the stress not doing so causes but in your case I think it would be worth the wait. If your mother has a serious medical issue you don't want to add to it. A year is not really a long time to wait in the scheme of things. Making things worse for your mother now is something you might come to regret for a very long time. Not to mention from just from the standpoint of what is best for you in the long run that degree and the better job that will accompany it will make a huge difference in how and when you can transition, It is expensive and we face discrimination in the workplace as it is. Without a degree it could be grim indeed. And even though you may plan to finish if you lose support it seldom actually happens that way. The repercussions could last for decades. A lifetime

So yes, I'd say wait. Many wait for years. It can be done. And meantime you can be working on voice-which takes a very long time, and makeup and wardrobe so you are ready when the time comes. Many unis also cover GTs so you may be able to start that process as well while you wait.

Just mt take on it-It is your life ultimately and you will have to decide

Johnny

[Guest Sarinah]

When I came out to my parents and told them I intended to transition they told me "not in my house". So I put off transition till I had my finances in order and could move out. I spent my time planning and practicing in private, also comming out to everyone else I knew. It was troubling finally knowing who I was and not being able to pursue it but I am glad I waited till I had everything in order to move out. My advice is to wait until you know your strong enough to stand on your own without parental support.

-Evalyn