Not sure where I go from here

[Guest Riain]

I went to see my GP today, he didn't seem to think that I should be referred for hormones, despite me trying to explain how I feel both male and female, he seemed to think I should just stay Male, but shave my legs and other practical things to feel more female.

Not sure if any of it will help though or what else I can do to feel more female aside from shaving my legs etc.

[Guest angels wings]

Riain your GP can't decide what is right for you ,only you can with the help of a therapist . Some need to transition fully some don't everyone is differnt . Some cant due to other medical conditions . That's we're a therapist can help you discover what is right for you .

Angel ((((( hugs)))))

[Carolyn Marie]

Riain, I think you need some advice from a few of your countrymen on this one. The NHS is too different for me to tell you how to deal effectively with an uncooperative doctor. But please don't give up, OK? Your doctor doesn't know a damned thing about being TG, or he wouldn't have suggested that shaving your legs was the key to feeling better. It won't make you feel worse, and could make you happier about your appearance, but that's probably about the extent of the "help" you'll get from it.

There is hopefully a "Plan B" available to you. You need to find out what it is.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Riain]

Hi and thank you both for your replys,

To be honest I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, he said that because I want to appear male outdoors but female at home, hormones wouldn't work for me because my voice would change so that would make it hard for me to appear male, if that's true then it would make it hard for me to appear male in public.

I don't know all the ins and outs of hormones, so I'm kinda of more confused now about what's best to do.

It wasn't really the answer I was looking for, I went with the thought hat hormones could be my answer for inner peace, giving mete choice to choose between appearing male in public and female in private.

[Guest angels wings]

I have never heard of hormones changing your voice . I could be wrong . I know it changes alot but never heard that . Maybe others can give us some input . Hang in there Riain

Angel

[Guest Chrysee]

Hi and thank you both for your replys,

To be honest I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, he said that because I want to appear male outdoors but female at home, hormones wouldn't work for me because my voice would change so that would make it hard for me to appear male, if that's true then it would make it hard for me to appear male in public.

I don't know all the ins and outs of hormones, so I'm kinda of more confused now about what's best to do.

It wasn't really the answer I was looking for, I went with the thought hat hormones could be my answer for inner peace, giving mete choice to choose between appearing male in public and female in private.

The point of vocal training and/or having your vocal chords surgically retuned is to compensate for HRT's short comings. Did he try to make you think that hormones would cause you to throw away your razor, too?

A GT is, as has been mentioned, your next logical step in the medical world.

[Charlize]

Riain,

Unfortunately for all of us hormones do nothing at all for the voice. Your GP doesn't have a clue and should do some reading before making comments.

See if your medical system can get you in touch with a GT or at least someone who has done some work with trans folks. Two things i might mention to you are that first shaving is good but painting toes is fun too. The lower half of a person is easily cover up to look like either gender. The second is that hormones have other major affects. You will probably grow breasts. They are a problem in male mode.(read the ftm forum). They also make you sterile. Do you want to have kids? There are major health issues other than these. Please stay in the health care system. Taking hormones without an MD is a bad idea. Press on but do it in the system with someone who really knows the risks and benefits.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Velanna]

HRT doesn't change the voice. Every transwoman wishes it did! lol Your GP is completely wrong in that regard and also wrong in telling you that you shouldn't take the hormones.If you feel you're ready for HRT then by all means!!

[Guest Melissa~]

The "doctor" sounds uninformed, even if HT tweaks the male voice, and I've never heard of it changing it. It takes a conscious effort to make the voice box function differently. Hormones taken long term will cause enough development to force wearing a top after a time to comply with public decency standards.

[Guest Sentience]

When I went to my GP to arrange a referral he told me; no warned me that my voice would change. Since I knew fine well that it wouldn't, my confidence in him diminished somewhat. He also told me that I would grow breasts. Well thanks for the revelation doc and there was me thinking I'd grow leaves. I don't know the situation in England but in Scotland you do not need a GP referral (nor complete 3 months RLE before the magic pills).. I only saw my doc because I thought it would speed things up. (It didn't). You can only find this out for yourself but gently unfolding into a more female appearance is not as scary as the dress rehearsals in your head. I work in a school and my hair is quite long and feminine (18 months ago it was short and I was kind of bauld) and I wear make up. I was nervous when I pushed the boat out but this is how it goes. "Are you wearing make up?"...."Yes" or, "I love your make up."..."Thank you." For the most part no-one says anything. I'm not even interesting anymore. When I go out wearing makeup, hair done, dangly earrings I now actually forget how I look and this is only 4 months or so. I actually now hate going out without make up.

In the mean time, shave your legs and arms. I find it both empowering and therapeutic.

[Guest Chrysee]

The "doctor" sounds uninformed, even if HT tweaks the male voice, and I've never heard of it changing it. It takes a conscious effort to make the voice box function differently. Hormones taken long term will cause enough development to force wearing a top after a time to comply with public decency standards.

Ummmm. . .'public decency standards? Are you referring to the law?

It's not against the law for someone 'male bodied' to go about without a shirt on, breasts or not. Many either wish that the law applied to said people or, to make it 'fair', that women could go about in the same fashion.

Of course most stores impose the 'No shirt, no shoes, no service!' thing, but that's whether you have breasts or not.

[Guest Riain]

Hi all, sorry I've not replied for a long time.

After my GP's opinions last time, it kinda made me feel more confused, however I'm going to go back and confront him on the voice changing etc, hopefully I will get referred to a gender specialist.

I've been through another couple of months of constant confusion and anxiety over my gender and its getting mentally exhausting.

[Guest Penelope]

Hi Riain,

I really think you need to see a gender specialist. They should be able to dispel some of your anxiety and confusion, and discuss your realistic options.

If you cannot afford to pay one yourself you will, of course, need to get a referral from your GP to get something from the NHS. If money is not a problem, I suggest you key 'gender therapist' into an internet search engine and limit it to the UK. I don't know where you live but I was quickly able to find one here in London and have already been for a consultation. If you want any details please PM me directly.

All the best,

Penny

[Guest Delphinus]

Riain,

I'm glad thay you went back; often times, patients have to educate their doctors to get what they need (unfortunate but true). Under NHS, the fact that you've informed you GP that you don't feel totally male should be enough for referreal to a GT.

Regarding hormones, they can only have a substantial impact on your voice if you took hormone blockers as a child and (rarely or) started taking them at a very young age. Unfortunately for male-bodied people, vocal chords thicken with age (hence the "Adam's apple") so, it isn't like taking T for FtMs - gender is an additive thing; you can rarely take away. However, I don't know your situation; some male-bodied people have naturally feminine voices the same way that I have a naturally husky voice - it's luck of the draw (i.e., genetics) there...

One other thing that you mentioned, and please know that I'm not saying you shouldn't go on HRT (only you and your therapist can decide that), but you mentioned wanting to be male outside and female at home. If this is the case, I personally think that HRT may not be for your right now. Estrogen is powerful stuff and is meant for women whose plumbing got crossed not for andogynes who go through genders periodically. I say this to you as an androgyne, and as someone who will not take T because I know that I am not going to fully transition to male. Eventually, I will have a significant reductions/ top surgery but I'm androgynous so, I don't go into modes between settings. But again, this is only my opinion; it's really between you and your doctor to decide what's best.

Good luck,

Del