Quick intro

[Guest Scroob]

Where to start..? Well, first off, I’m not very good at talking (including written) and I’m a fairly private person anyway. I’m bad at small talk and generally find it hard to articulate my thoughts.

It’s hard for me to admit but I’ve been feeling quite low recently, there’s a lot of stress in my life (probably no more than most people’s but I’m not coping so well with it – I’ve had depression/anxiety since I was a teen). I can’t go into much of it for privacy reasons but a big part of the problem (for lack of a better word) is seated in my trans identity. Very few people in the real world know about me and those that do don’t really know enough to talk about it much.

This is part of why I joined here. I came out to a friend the other day and he suggested I find a place like this for support/community. It wasn’t that he wasn’t willing to talk – and we did that evening – he was just able to recognise his own lack of knowledge on the topic.

As I said I’m not out to many people, I’ve no intention of ever telling my dad (it’s just not a conversation I ever want to have with him) and for that reason I have to be careful who I tell – make sure it can’t get back to him. In terms of my identity, this means I appear as my original gender (sorry if that’s the wrong term) and I’m mostly ok with that, I wear men’s clothes almost exclusively but still look female. I’d like to look a bit more androgynous if I could. I don’t really feel like I ‘fit’ either male or female, I seem to change a lot between neither and/or both.

I have some good friends and I don’t think those who don’t know would react badly if I told them, but, again there’s the issue with my dad, and I’m not sure I’m ready for more people to know.

Scroob

[MaryEllen]

Hello Scroob,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Thank you for sharing with us.

MaryEllen

[Guest fantastictoo]

Scroob,

First off, Welcome! Secondly, I understand where you're coming from not wanting to tell your dad. I am kind of nervous about coming out to my dad too. He is so...Male. Ugh. No wiggle room there.

I can't wait to tell him. At this point, I'm 38 years old and I'm an adult. I know that he will love me no matter what, regardless of how he reacts. Just give it time. I am out to my mom and my sister and few friends, but not him or my brothers. They are all quite male. They won't understand, but they will be supportive. Do what you feel comfortable with and take each day as it comes.

Good luck to you!

Love,

Melissa

[Charlize]

Welcome Scroob, Nice name. this is a great place to learn about yourself and others. You are not alone. please feel free to explore post and join in. We do ask that you read the terms and conditions at the bottom of any page.

I would also like to suggest that as well as being here you start to think about seeing a Gender Therapist(GT). Person to person conversation with a knowledgeable person helps more than anything.

Hope to see you around,

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Scroob]

Thank you for the Welcome MaryEllen.

Melissa – I think my issue with my dad is as much about privacy as anything else. I’ve never been close to him and never really wanted to share things with him. That said I really don’t know how he’d react, I know he’s ok with my sister being gay but I’m not sure he’d understand what my situation is. My sister knows about me but I’m not sure she really gets it either. The friend I mentioned earlier told me parents tend to be more accepting than we expect but it’s a big risk to take.

Charlie – Thanks, I was struggling for a name I haven’t used elsewhere and happened to be listening to Scroobius Pip (the Edward Lear poem of the same name is also fitting, I feel). I do want to join in here as much as possible and I plan to try my best to do so. As I mentioned I’m not great at talking, I tend to be nervous of people I don’t know (including online) and get very anxious about responding to things – often feeling my opinion wouldn’t be worthwhile or would be better expressed by someone else.

I’m not entirely sure how gender therapists work in the UK, maybe some here knows? I vaguely mentioned something to my GP at the end of my last appointment with him (about 4 months ago) but we were dealing with more pressing issues at the time so it was pushed to one side and I’ve not had the guts to go back since.

Scroob

[gennee]

Welcome to Laura's, Scroob.

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Scroob,

<<< hug >>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Scroob. I hope that you find all that you need within these forums and Chat rooms.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie