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An Interesting Talk


Guest jessw76

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Guest jessw76

Hi everyone. Hope you all had a great weekend. My husband and I had a awesome talk friday. of course when he came home friday he was ready to pack for he thought I was going to kick him out. I told him I wanted to know everything and not to hold back and most important no more lies. I would listen and wait till he was finished before I said anything. He told me that he doesnt have a urge or feeling to be a woman. He assured me he likes women very much. He said he enjoys being a man. HE said it is not something he wants to do all the time or even feels the need to do all the time. He doesnt want to dress up and go out anywhere. He said sometimes when he is home he just gets an urge. So he puts on my clothes and make-up and shoes and does whatever straighten the house, play his x-box. Then he changes and feels good. He says the feel of womens clothing just feels good sometimes. He says he is perfectly happy with his stuff but now and then my stuff is just too inviting including my heels and he laughed at me for I dont find wearing my heels inviting they kill my feet. He says it is confusing to him for he both wants to and doesnt want to. He says he doesnt always understand it for he is very much a man and feels everything deemed manly except the urge to wear my clothes. When push comes to shove I can accept and live with this. It is actually not that bad. He wants to wear my clothes once in awhile-- so what. I had to reassure him that I loved him and he is still the same person I have always loved and that I wasnt leaving him. To me this would be a stupid reason to throw us out over-- together we are very good--- Although at times we can really clash for we are both stubborn:) We had a really good weekend and I feel a hundred times better than what I did. I know for him a huge weight has been lifted and he is feeling better about himself and about us. I showed him the playground and I hope he joins. I told him everyone was very nice and that he would get a lot out of talking to you.

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That sounds wonderful! It seems that he is truely a cross dresser with no desire to be a woman - that will be a lot easier for you. I believe that in other posts you have said that you have never seen him dressed and that you thought it would make you feel uncomfortable. At some point, you will probably need to address this - no rush as long as he has enough time to dress when you aren't there - but it will leave a lingering feeling of shame!

If he feels that he can dress at home anytime he will probably open up to you more and if like most of us feel more comfortable getting into contact with our feminine side (everybodys got one) when dressed - his sensitivity might just surprise you. He is busy trying to hide that feminine side in shame while it is a normal an important part of all males.

Just my thoughts on how to make that wonderful weekend happen again and again,

Sally

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Sounds like a happy crossdresser to me :) Crossdressing is like.... well, like playing xbox actually lol. Something you do on occasion to feel good. A world apart from being trans.

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Succinctly stated EvanJ, but you never know where one category ends and another begins, we are all blended just in varying shades of polyester. Poly Ester one of my girl friends,, LOL........... Mia

P.S. thanks for the update Jessw. I really do agree with EvanJ, things will be fine.............Mia

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Guest DeniseNM

What more can I say that Sally and Evan haven't said. I am glad that you and your husband got the chance to talk openly and honestly. I hope he does join too.

Denise

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Guest jessw76

I asked him about dressing in front of me if that was something he might want to do in the future, I think I befuddled him, he was speechless for a few. Right now no. It would make him feel embaressed(I dont think I spelled that right.) and thats okay. One step at a time. I will say we do feel closer to eachother he is relieved and not carrying the weight around, and his mood seems to be uplifted as he says he is not carrying around a secret that was eating at him anymore now that it is out. He has taken very good care of me while I have been sick, and I think I gave it to him oops :P Now it will be my turn to take care of him. He did say he wishes he told me along time ago. He just wasnt sure I would be as open minded and accepting of something hitting so close to home. ---HUGGING ALL OF YOU-- JESS

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So happy for both of you!

Now that you are all better, get him on his feet again and you guys just enjoy each other!

Without the 'big secret' he will open up to you more and you should be able to have the truely loving relationship that you both deserve.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Amanda L Richards

HI JessW

It is always a wonderful thing to see some of lifes real shakeups settle into a something comfortable that is conducive for the two people that find themselves facing the situation. In this case it is crossdressing. It is also wonderful to see that you are not as apprehensive about it and that things worked out for you.

I personally find it especially wondrful that he is going to have an easier time about it with you. Even if this is something that all of us wish we could have in our lives, I think it is still a ray of sunshine when it happens in someone elses life similar to ours becuase that basically tells us, or me at least that the world is changing for the better.

Keep your posts coming and your advice for us, because you truly are a refreshing new angle on this aspect of ours.

Thank you and best wishes for moving ahead so quickly

Amanda L

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Guest Elizabeth K

Tears of Joy for both of you! A GREAT Christmas present.

My S.O. and I had a joint session - her first - with my therapist. Great session - we need our significant others!

Best to you both on the journey.

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Guest DeniseNM

Jess that is great to hear and I know that it will be easier for your spouse now that you know and he doesn't have to carry that "secret" around any more. I know it was a relief to me when I told my wife and she was okay with it and is willing to help me shop and all (heck she already suspected about me years ago .. go figure). It is great to hear though Jess now get him well.

Handing Donna a tissue while taking one myself

Denise

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Irielle

Jess, I am so glad your husband was able to talk to you. He is still the same person you have always known and now you just know more about him. IMHO only good things can come from that. He has taken a huge load off himself and I'm proud of you both. Now he doesn't have to spend all that energy trying to keep his secret and feeling guilty. You are both more free now - congratulations!

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