15 & TS (advice PLEASE)

[Guest call.me.bethany]

Hi well I'm 15 and when I was younger like 10 my parents confronted me when they found research on being a TS. I didn't have enough courage to say that I am since I was shy as is. But now that I came out to a really good friend I made a few years ago I have told my dad about me being well TS. All he did was to try and talk me out of it and he didn't realize he was and said he wasn't. And told me to explain years worth of feelings, when I couldn't he said it was just what all teens feel. I'm sure it's not since I have felt it for this long. I feel like Im in a prison that is nearly impossible to escape....he said that I don't know what other people think which I know I can't and I told him he doesn't know how I do either...that caught him off guard and he agreed to let me see a psychologist...or to try and find one. I feel really alone except for my friend who lives on the other side of the country and who has excepted me whole heartedly and I think she is falling for me but says she doesn't care what gender I am as long as I'm me personality wise.

Is there any advice on anything? I'm nervous and scared...not about being TS but reactions...any advice would help.

[Guest MsGsptlsnz]

Well Bethany, first off welcome from a fellow midwesterner. We seem few and far between here surrounded by furriners and folks on the coasts. But don't worry, people here are freindly and helpful.

Your father is probably confused by all this feelings talk. Men aren't really well prepared for talking about how people feel and being TG is all about feeling wrong in your body. Discussing this with him is like discussing jock itch with your mom. No point of referance to work from. He is doing the safe thing when it comes to any emotional stuff and saying everyone fees that way so it's normal, don't go doing anything crazy with it. To some degree he is right. In your teen years hormones kick in and make you stupid. We all went through it. Most get over being stupid and become functional adults. But only you can know what is confusion caused by hormones and confusion caused by gender issues and "you" right now is a bundle of conflicitng urges. So don't try and do this on your own. Push for the therapist. Ask around here for resources to find the right kind. I can't help you there, I'm still looking for one in western south dakota... I may as well look for a unicorn while I'm at it for all the good it will do me. I think the prevailing attitude here for dealing with gender issues is a good leaching follwed by a whipping with a cat of nine tails. Not to say we're a bit backward here but... well... we are.

[Guest angels wings]

Hello Bethany Welcome to Laura's

I have moved your post to introductions as this is your first post . This will also allow other members to welcome you also

You can make a comment to any topic or create a topic of your own . Before you do this please remember to read the Terms and Conditions . You can find these on the bottom right of any page . Relax and enjoy . You are not alone but amongst others who understand .We also have chat available , you will need a different registration for this . Seeing a therapist will help a lot. They help you discover who you are and help direct you and your family in future choices . How others react one can not say , each person reacts differently . Wishing you all the best ((((( hugs filled with strength ))))

Angel

[Guest call.me.bethany]

Thanks since my parents r divorcing I'm kinda alone hoping to get out of the country and move somewhere bigger..but I know how I feel any male urge almost makes me throw up ..

[Charlize]

Hi dear,

If your dad's willing to help by all means find a GT. Part of what they do is help you to overcome your fear of coming out. The reactions of others always bothers us. We all have that problem. The desire to be loved and part of a group shapes much of what we do. I have been amazed at how little "heat" i've taken about being me. I get the occasional "what or really" but thats about it. Its bigger in our minds than others. Parents and SO's are different. They have an investment in our gender staying as is but many are accepting when they see our happiness.

Get some help. Its for the best

Hugs,

Charlie

[KathrynJulia]

Hello Bethany

I've been in your shoes in a time zone of several decades ago. Parents come with this perfect vision of their children that sometimes misses reality by miles. Bethany a good Gender Therapist can work with you and validate your Gender issues. They are problem solvers and personal advisers who help you with how to talk to other people when you come out to them. They can help you by counseling you and role playing on how to talk to people and how to tell them in such a manner as to mitigate damage and build supporters.

Here are two links to find a Gender Therapist. You really want someone experienced in this area of counseling. Eventually you are going to need to talk to a doctor to block puberty from changing you into more male characteristics. A letter from a licensed Gender therapist validates to a physician that you are transsexual and in need of hormonal help. Here are two links to finding a qualified therapist. Also we have many members from Minnesota who may contact you with recomendations of good therapists.

http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

Bethany, Lauras Playground is a safe site for you to be for finding support and information. We have many teens like yourself struggling with parents, school, friends and just the pressures of being a teenager. Find a good Gender Therapist. Thats priority number one. Join other teens on Laura's for support. If you have any questions about Lauras, after 5 posts, we have a private message system and access to members profiles. You can ask any moderator for advice. We keep any conversations confidential.

Bethany, Laura's is a moderated website. Anything you post is first read and approved by a moderator. We screen posts to see if they conform to the Terms and Conditions which please familiarize yourself with them. We try and get every post approved as quickly as we can. We also watch and ensure everyone safety from the creaps that are out there. We work to keep them out. Laura's is a G rated website. We enforce that so that teens like you can come on Laura's folr support and your parents won't become upset. We keep Laura's clean and ensure appropriate teen content. Many therapists recomend Laura's to their patients everyday.

We also have a chatroom on Laura's that you are welcome to join. It requires a separate log in and we have moderators who work and help depressed people. This life is very difficult with manny challenges. It wears us all down at times. If you get to feeling that way, their are good people here that will help you over the bumps in life that I am sure you will experience. So join in the chat rooms as well.

Bethany, as the newest member of Laura's Playground, I want to extend a warm welcome to you. I'm KathrynJulia and if I can help in any way please just ask.

[Guest]

_{Hello Bethany!}

_{Welcome to Laura's Playground.}

_{Don't have any words of wisdome.}

_{A therapist can help you out a lot, as other have said.}

_{Moving may seem to be the right thing but it does not usually solve an inner conflict.}

_{Take life one step at a time.}

_{Lots of Huggs,}

_Joann

[Guest MsGsptlsnz]

Nothing wrong with wanting the big city life. I lived in Denver for a couple years, way differant than wastern south dakota. Just be sure you want to move for your own reasons and not because of the impending divorce.

[Guest call.me.bethany]

Believe me my own reasons.

[Guest MsGsptlsnz]

That's good to hear. Always try to do things because you want to, not because you feel like you have to.

[Guest call.me.bethany]

I just hope it won't take forever....I've felt the worst I have in all these years and I know it won't get better with time I hope they understand that...

[Guest MsGsptlsnz]

You are, at the heart of all this, asking them to admit some kind of fault in either how they raised you, their own genetics or what your mother did while you were in the womb. Depends on what studies you think sound the most logical, nurture, nature or nutritiuon. All have merit. But all basicly say "Mom, Dad... You screwed up and now I want to be the opposite sex." You can sugar coat it all you want but at 1 am when they can't sleep that's what they are thinking and talking about.

Guilt is a powerful motivator in humans and right now they are working through it. Give them time. They will eventualy work through the phazes and end up in acceptance. Then you can move forward. Don't push them, that will make things worse. I know you've been ready for this for a long time. For them this is all new.

[Guest call.me.bethany]

I'm also worried that the therapist won't see my way either. sort of like

my dad

[Guest MsGsptlsnz]

The therapist, if he is any good, will see things for what they are, not what you or your parents want them to see it. If you don't authorize it they can't talk to your parents about the conversations you have. All they can do is talk about general things like medications or treatments they recomend. Just because you are a minor doesn't mean you aren't entitled to privacy.

Don't worry. I've been around many a therapist in my time on this ball of mud and they were all good eggs.

[Guest call.me.bethany]

Does a therapist have to approve the use of hormones?

[Guest MsGsptlsnz]

Now you are getting into an area someone else has to answer. I am not transitioning or even concidering it at this time. I suspect the answer is yes judging by what I have read here but don't quote me.

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Bethany,

<<< hug >>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[Guest Elandili_Aier]

Welcome to the site Bethany

It can be scary going through this, especially when your first reaction is one of the "It's a phase" types. But as for worrying about reactions, you've just got to hold your head high. Anyone who doesn't accept you isn't worth your time. A good therapist will help a lot with your father most likely. Unless he's overly stubborn like some are. And as to your comment questioning whether your therapist has to approve for hormones the answer is yes. You need a letter from a therapist who works with gender issues to be prescribed hormones, and taking them without a prescription isn't a good idea at all.

Best of luck to you,

Mitchell