Coming Out in a Group Therapy Meeting

[Guest Strawberie]

My trans therapist and I decided to help me come out to my parents in a therapy family meeting with my mom and dad. It's going to happen the 8th of October (before National Coming Out Day!). I'm terrified but it really needs to happen! They're catching on and it's becoming hard not to just admit everything on the spot; but - I really need to do this in a safe enviroment. I told my parents to come on that day and they both agreed but they also said that they don't want any surprises...

They told me that if I needed to tell them anything I needed to say it before hand and not in therapy! I don't know what to do. If I tell them before therapy I don't know what will happen because they change their opinion of me, gay people, and trans people everyday (I'm an FTM and also gay). Should I just wait until therapy to tell them and risk haivng them be furious at me or should I tell them before hand?

I feel like it's my right to tell them when I want to and not anytime sooner but I don't want to hurt them anymore than I have to. What should I do?

[Guest MsGsptlsnz]

Well, first off mention thier statment to the therapist and get their take on it. It may be they think all therapy is like they see on Oprah or Dr. Phil and is filled with ambushes. Which ddly enough you are doing...

Worst case you could tell them in the parking lot before going in. Then it happened before instead of during....

[Guest HazzaHun]

To say that he is ambushing his parent's is a bit harsh. It seems like no one can give good advice about personal issues... Personally I would wait until therapy, because either way they'll be upset and hurt, but if it's in therapy your therapist might be able to help and explain more than if you did it by yourself. That's just my opinion though, you should do whatever you feel is right for your situation! If there is a time beforehand you feel like you should tell them and do so, it might let them have time to cope a bit before therapy. I can see why it's a hard decision, your situation is very tricky. But, again, I think you should do what feels right at the time. If there's a time you want to tell them before therapy, then go for it! and if not then it's OK to wait.

[Guest angels wings]

Matey follow your heart . No one can tell you which moment is the right moment . Wishing you all the best .

Angel (((((( hugs ))))))

[VickySGV]

Give your GT a phone call on this one. Since the two of you have specific plans, your GT does not need the surprises of the plan change. There are questions you can use to evaluate a decision on this, and your therapist will be the best one to ask them, but you ultimately will make the decision.