Acceptance

[Guest cerise]

My knowledge of my TG personality has been known to me since a very early age , however you'd think that I would have accepted this and adapted but I did not .

I married and had children with a wife and that marriage failed as a result of my TG nature . I could not provide what she needed and we were both fooling ourselves that I would be "cured".

I have since come out to more than a few people and the acceptance was great along with that feeling of relief .

I live as woman when I am alone and these moments are great .

The point of this is that although I have begun to accept My TG nature I have still a long way to go.

If I continue to accept that this is my path I will be happier .

When I buy TG clothing , forms . makeup ect. I find that if I am relaxed about it the people whom I am talking to are more accepting.

I want to get to the point where I almost take it for granted .

I get this when I can spend the day as Cerise .

[Sally]

It would sem that the only one left to convince is Cerise!

We often tend to throw road blocks in our path, your friends are accepting of you - be as forgiving as they are!

We all tend to carry the bagage of our past lives - you need to forget about the failed marriag (I do too) and get on with your transition and be Cerise all of the time without feeling guilty!

When we lose the gulit and shame that society has helped us heap upon ourselves we can truely be happy.

Make a New Year's Resolution to be you and be happy!

Life is so easy when it is someone else's!

Think what you would tell someone else to do and then DO IT!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

You slipped down the line so fast no one welcomed you

Hey - WELCOME

Most of us have about the same story - me for example. I finally diagnosed transsexual but for about 50 years thought I was a cross dresser. Lost one wife to it, for example.

Another example, I buy what I want, and nobody gives me problems.

So pull up a chair and look around - you may have just come home.

[Guest Evan_J]

Well look at that, you walked in the place and into some of the best hands around

Welcome. As has been said (however much I'm paraphrasing) there's not a lot left to do except enjoy being you.

[Guest cerise]

Thank you and I will be working on it daily .

Opening up here is a great continuation of this path . Recently I made a decision to be Cerise in whatever way I could around my kids and in my day to day life while still maintaining theirs and my comfort zones . This was also a decision to be TG no matter what , in whatever ways I could .

[Sally]

Congratulations Cerise!

Now you are making progress!

Openning up here has been a great help and comfort for so many, I am glad that it has been a help for you as well.

I think thta I can speak for foreveryone here when I say that we are all so happy for you.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I know it sound like a cliche' but here at Laura's we mean this...

You go girl!

You may now want to roam around and introduce yourself some more - and talking about comfort zones, I too am living full time at home, with a wife (not the one who ran) that is trying very hard to be supportive. I am also in therpy and on HRT.

Have you seen a therapist? If not, it's the next step and I HIGHLY recommend it - in fact it is crutial for your mental health, to get a review of what you feel you are - and be told if it is true, Therapist are not what ya expect, darlin', so don't be cautious. Grin...

Lizzy

[Guest cerise]

Happy Boxing Day!

I have talked to therapist about this and its influence in my life and other issues . We had a few sessions about it and I first came out to somebody other than family at one of the group discussions where I felt it was okay. It's amazing how many times I went over in my mind how I would say it . I used the term "twin spirit" and then explained it afterward as female brained.

Those who know , knew what I was talking about but the others who where interested , wanted to have it explained.

I still go this meeting when I can and sometimes chair it.

I know a someone who outed themselves as TG at another meeting . I have known her for a while and I told her after I was also Gender Dysphoric . It was my first time talking to someone else who was the same and without the burden of stealth . Relief and understanding were in both of our eyes .

[Sally]

Happy Boxing Day to you!

I'm glad that you have found someone to talk to - isn't it great?

I just love 'girl talk' that's why I'm here so much and pushing the refreshment tray - people chat more over a light snack!

You seem to be making a little progress and are feeling better, so keep it up!

Love ya,

Sally

[gennee]

Cerise, I just finishing reading your post. I just want to say I'm SOOOO happy for you. Self-acceptance is the first step toward self-discovery. You sound so peaceful in your spirit. I am a crossdresser and transgender. I'm very happy where I am. Folks who have or are transitioning are near and dear to my heart. You all have courage and, Cerise, I'm pleased that you have moved forward in your journey.

Gennee

[Guest Irielle]

Congratulations Cerise - I am so happy for you! Once we become true to ourselves the whole world opens up for us. And it's so great to have this place to come to and visit and be totally safe. You are past the point of no return so welcome and have a wonderful journey!!! Lots of girls here to chat with.

[Guest Amanda L Richards]

Hello Cerise,

I have found that a therapist is a golden ring to our situation, with the right one, they are valuable beyond belief. I was afraid to go to one for alot of years, but when I finally decided to go, I had to wait for two of them to call back, Rachel called me back first and she was the right one. I am eternally greatful for her on my journey this far.

Also being on this forum, and interacting to the degree that I have, has allowed me to open my shell a little bit. Before I was looking at the world through a little pin hole where next to no light was getting in.

When I started to open my shell to a little crack and then take a good size piece off, and reveal more, I discovered that when you are enclosed in that shell, the universe does not see you but when you open that shell and show some of yourself, the universe goes "Ahh! there she is, now we know exactly where to send her blessings and gifts"

I know it probably sounded a bit corny, but the point is being in that shell and hiding, I am starting to realize that you are preventing life from blessing you.

I am glad to see that you are opening your shell to receive the gifts and blessings in life you deserve to have, ''IT IS YOUR BIRTHRITE"

Soak it all in, it can only get better.

Amanda LR

[Guest Elizabeth K]

AMANDA! You gettin good at this advice thing - darlin'

Loves ya - keep it up!

[Guest Amanda L Richards]

AMANDA! You gettin good at this advice thing - darlin'

Loves ya - keep it up!

Hi Elizabeth,

sorry Cerise, I didn't mean to railroad the thread, or anything.

Elizabeth, Thank you, I was just sort of going with what I am feeling, it would seem that this has been the sort of thing that has come pouring out of me this year, a drastic change since last year and before, but thank you again.

LUv to all.

Amanda LR

[Guest cerise]

No worries Amanda . Happy New Year all .

Outside help is always good aka "a therapist" . I will probably see him tonight if I get out of the house tonight . He is not a gender therapist but he has loads of experience . Still one of my hold backs is that I don't really want to be pegged or diagnosed as I am quite serene as to my identity. This has taken a while as mentioned with geographic changes and marriages in order to "cure ".

Lately I have just taken the term "Transgender" as to describe a gender identity that "Transcends" a normal or the classical description of gender .

A matrix of gender traits that come to define me . In regards to this I am more female than male and find more peace of mind in expressing myself as Cerise as much as possible .

From a different view Cerise has some male traits as do a lot of GG's out there .

With the new year I will explain this to my son who kinda knows what's going on but it would be good to do so we are all on the same page .

I have been fortunate with the coming out process in that no one has disowned me or treated me different and as said above it's really up to me to come to terms with this.

[Sally]

Cerise,

You are definately lucky, I hope it keeps going well for youthis year and the next and the next and the......

Good luck with your son, be sure to approach the subject from the positive aspects (gender gifted) it is easier for them to be supportive if they don't get the feeling that you think of it as a curse!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest cerise]

Thanks Sally

From reading a couple of years ago on this site I found out that I shared a profile that might explain me in that my mother had problems with birth on 2 other unsuccessful occasions and my brother was 10 months . Not only that but she was a nervy woman and still is . There is no way to go back and find what kind of meds or hormones if any she was on but suffuce to say this site has been extremely helpful .

My therapist along with other sites has explained " During fetal life, the amount present, or the absence of testosterone and other androgens determines our sexuality — physically, mentally and emotionally. There are key times or periods during development when the fetus will go towards the male or the female depending on the level of testosterone. These windows of opportunity may be only open for a few days and if the needed level of testosterone is not present, a basic female orientation develops regardless of the testosterone levels before or after this critical period, and the resulting sexual imprint."

Anywho gotta go .

[Guest Amanda L Richards]

Happy New Year Cerise!

I would like to comment on your excellent choice of definition. ( "Transcends" a normal or traditional description of gender. ) I love that description, Transcendental Gender! I have had an interest in holistic healing through physical and spiritual (not religious) means, and most people in this area will tell you that every human being on the planet has both male and female makeup.

When one is born an outwardly appearing male, the male will generally manifest in it's more obvious form, and likewise with the female.

However when a male is born there is a stronger tendency for the female quality to manifest as the inner being of the outwardly appearing male. Likewise is true of the female births. This would definitely fit with your description of Transcendental Gender.

Before your post I didn't make the connection untill you came along. Thanks for putting this into perspective for me.

Luv

Amanda