A question for those living full time.

[Guest kariann330]

As i sit here battling with my own brain, i wonder when does catching your reflection in a mirror stop causing your brain to flip out on you? Also are you finally able to see yourself from the waist up and think hey its me, instead of why me? Yes this is a really bad night for me and altho i knoweveryone is different im just hoping to have some light shined on a rather dark moment dark time.

Thank you in advance

Kari.

[VickySGV]

Kari -- It is difficult to say since this is personal for you, but it is getting ready to happen.

My history was that when I saw myself in a mirror made up with hair and clothes right, I knew it was me immediately. Where I faltered though was believing that others would see it as the real true me. I could not imagine they saw what I did. True enough, not all of them saw it as the true me and some do not today.

The key was learning that I and not they controlled my sense of self and was the next step I needed. I have learned how to see the image as my true self that expresses itself to the world. Now that I have lived for slightly over a year as myself, its ok if my hair or makeup are not PERFECT its really little stuff but I have given myself permission to look and interact with people and I make the decision if it is ME!!

[JenniferB]

Hi Kari,

The transformation comes slowly. I always see her after I put on makeup. But not so much before. Although I think it's harder to see ourselves then for someone else can. We tend to be our own worst critic.

{{{Hugs}}}

Jenny

[Guest kariann330]

I will say, I love the times i look in a mirror and see my face looking softer and more feminine, or when i bump into something and gasp in pain because of those ever so sensitive breast buds, but then there are times like tonight where those softer facial features are no where to be seen even with makeup and my GD gets the best of me. Thank you for the encouraging words. It really helps to brighten the light at the end of the tunnel, im just hoping it stays down hill from here lol.

[Guest fantastictoo]

Kari,

I am not even on hormones yet, but I like what I see of the true Melissa when I look at her in the mirror. I began living full time a week ago and the response has been fairly positive. (In my opinion)

I made the decision, even though I don't pass, based on the fact that I wanted to get used to the idea of being out and public and couldn't stand presenting my drab male self to the world any longer. It may not be as feminine as I like right now, but I know that eventually it will be.

Be strong, sister!

Love,

Melissa

[Guest JennX]

As i sit here battling with my own brain, i wonder when does catching your reflection in a mirror stop causing your brain to flip out on you? Also are you finally able to see yourself from the waist up and think hey its me, instead of why me? Yes this is a really bad night for me and altho i knoweveryone is different im just hoping to have some light shined on a rather dark moment dark time.

Thank you in advance

Kari.

In short... Yes. When I'm "me", I'm like there she is... instead of why is some strange guy starring back at me in the mirror. It takes time (at least it did for me) to get over this sort of strange feeling, but it does lessen over time.

[Guest kariann330]

Thaks ladies...oh by the way, i know i still have time to experiment, but if anyone has any tips for concealed cary im open to trying them. I have tried my inside the waistband holster, but all of my new jeans are so much tighter, and my new tops are so much shorter, that even my compact glock19 prints and in Ohio and Florida, the two main states i carry in, that can get you a VERY big fine if not the loss of your CCW...for those who know about Ohio's open cary laws sadly a mixed carry isn't legal lol.

[Sally]

With so many of the very tightly cut 'skinny jeans' about the only way to carry is with a gun purse - designed with an easy access outer pocket that conceals your weapon.

They are designed to look like any other purse but will have a zippered compartment that opens vertically on the backside of the purse as you carry it - very quick access.

As to when you stop seeing 'him' in the mirror, Any day now!

Seriously, it is not like you will wake up on day 182 and say to yourself, "There I am!"

One day you will just wonder how long it has been since you felt uncomfortable looking in the mirror and then you will know why but never exactly when.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest fantastictoo]

I don't remember where I saw it, but I remember seeing a gun holster that actually hooks to your bra. OH! It was on Kathy Lee and Houda on the Today show. It was like during their Valentine's Day or Spring fashion segment from last year or this year I believe...oh jeez...let me see if I can find it...http://www.gungoddess.com/flashbang-bra-holster/ There ya go!

[Guest StaciAnne]

Yes it does get better. I stopped seeing the "boy" in the mirror a few months ago (been full-time for 11 months now) now I just see the girl. And I'm much happier now.

[Guest JennX]

Thaks ladies...oh by the way, i know i still have time to experiment, but if anyone has any tips for concealed cary im open to trying them. I have tried my inside the waistband holster, but all of my new jeans are so much tighter, and my new tops are so much shorter, that even my compact glock19 prints and in Ohio and Florida, the two main states i carry in, that can get you a VERY big fine if not the loss of your CCW...for those who know about Ohio's open cary laws sadly a mixed carry isn't legal lol.

I have a CCW and daily carry for me is a Glock G19 or SIG P229. Good choice on the G19 btw. I keep it in my purse. Simple. I live in Florida, so any sort of on-the-body-holster is pretty much out of the question due to the weather and clothing. There are several companies that do make bags/purses specifically for concealed carry.

[Guest kariann330]

See the.thing is that i don't feel comfortable with it being in a purse or any other type of bag that can easily be separated from me...yes i know if it happens and i file a report immediately im not legally responsible for what may happen next, but then im out 600$ cuz of the firearm plus what i have addes to it which is why im looking for an on the body way to carry it.

[Carolyn Marie]

I've never felt that my face looked much different, but others have told me otherwise. I do admit that with makeup and my wig on, I definitely can see a woman looking back at me.

It's different for everyone, so give yourself time, and I think she will make an appearance, and someday soon stay for good.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest JennX]

See the.thing is that i don't feel comfortable with it being in a purse or any other type of bag that can easily be separated from me...yes i know if it happens and i file a report immediately im not legally responsible for what may happen next, but then im out 600$ cuz of the firearm plus what i have addes to it which is why im looking for an on the body way to carry it.

I know what you mean and I felt that way myself at first. I just really couldn't find another option. There's always a thigh holster, but a G19 is going to be too big me thinks, and then you'd be restricted to dresses or skirts. I will say it's much more comfortable having it in my bag. Another, less fashionable option, is a fanny pack. They also do make these specifically of concealed carry as well.

[Guest Melissa~]

Only on this playground! I would have sworn just a few months ago... that I'd never see a ccw discussion mixed with "passing" muses- in the same thread.

My thoughts have clearly been towards a compact in my purse if I were to ever take the ccw route. Bodily carry simply isn't feasible most of the year when I'm not wearing a heavy coat. I have never been one for baggy or sloppy clothes.

I use a very modest 38B bra and I just don't think adding bulk to that would be flattering.

On my face some days are better than others same with my hair. I'm definitely not happy about my persistent mustache shadow, but I am making progress on it. I'm convinced I should have FFS, but I'm in no way going to pursue that until HT has had three years or more to work. So far so good on HT, I have had no undesired effects from it, but my weight loss has brought my adam's apple into visibility with a thinner neck, that stinks