Dilators

[Guest Zenda]

Hi there,

I was wondering if any of you ladies could let me know what size dilators your surgeons gave you after your surgery. The reason my asking this is when I first had surgery I was given 6 dilators my size four five and six are as follows 32mm diameter 35mm and 38mm. There doesn't seem to be much info on the net regarding dilator sizes, up untill a while ago I was under the impression my size six was the standard size that all surgeons issued. However after doing some research I found the large dilator size given out by British surgeons at Charring cross Hosp was 30mm and in Thailand it's either 32mm or 33mm. I would be interested in finding out what size dilators American surgeons generally issue. Because of my small pelvic girdle size I can only manage my size five 35mm diameter. This info would be most appreciated Thank you.

Metta Jendar

[SugarCandyBabe]

Hey Metta,

I shouldn't worry about it too much!

I was given oestrogens/progesterone therapy at puberty so my pelvic/hip bones widened as a normal female but, I have friends in the same position as yourself and they said, at first they found dilating a bit nervey and wasn't too sure about the size of dilator to use?

Well, the thing is, a lot of this has to do with being a little tense and so this affects the surrounding muscles in that area. Once you start to relax your muscles completely by letting yourself really loose in that area, you will find you will be able to go up in size of the dilator you use by a lot.

According to my friends they say they know after sometime of dilating and experimenting what your natural maximum size will be that you can take as you will feel this against your pelvic bone.

I was suprized what size they could take even though their pelvic region was under developed.

A lot of it at first isn't the pelvic bone your hitting against but in fact the surrounding muscles tensing-up.

It is not something you will achieve, or try to push yourself too far too quickly as you may bruise yourself in this area. Just use the technique of 'Totally' relaxing yourself and after you have conquered the relaxing of the pelvic muscles, after a few weeks you will be really pleasantly surprized how much width you will easily gain naturally yourself and then you will see that a lot of what you may think is not wide enough is in fact much wider than you think and you will see that a lot of it was in fact just your muscles tensing in this area. Then, those dilators you have now, you will be keeping those in the bottom drawer and looking on to bigger and better things. Don't rush this though but do it gradually and just totally relax about the whole thing and don't worry yourself about what size each hospital uses, just be you and enjoy.

You will eventually find that the largest of the dilators given to you by the hospital will end up being much too small for you as the months pass providing you relax and enjoy the muscle technique.

The largest of the dilators hospitals hand out, my friends can use proper adult toys if you get my meaning 2.5 times rounder than the largest size given to them by the hospitals without any trouble very easily but, they are a few years post op and are very active as girls. The key is; Relax and take things slowly and it will work out great.

Candy. XX

[Guest Zenda]

HELLO AM I THE ONLY ONE WHOSE HAD A SEX CHANGE AND USES A DILATOR ? SURELY SOMEBODY OUT THERE IN CYBER WORLD CAN ANSWER MY QUESTIONS OR AM I IN THE WRONG FORUM?

[Guest Zenda]

Hey Metta,

I shouldn't worry about it too much!

I was given oestrogens/progesterone therapy at puberty so my pelvic/hip bones widened as a normal female but, I have friends in the same position as yourself and they said, at first they found dilating a bit nervey and wasn't too sure about the size of dilator to use?

Well, the thing is, a lot of this has to do with being a little tense and so this affects the surrounding muscles in that area. Once you start to relax your muscles completely by letting yourself really loose in that area, you will find you will be able to go up in size of the dilator you use by a lot.

According to my friends they say they know after sometime of dilating and experimenting what your natural maximum size will be that you can take as you will feel this against your pelvic bone.

I was suprized what size they could take even though their pelvic region was under developed.

A lot of it at first isn't the pelvic bone your hitting against but in fact the surrounding muscles tensing-up.

It is not something you will achieve, or try to push yourself too far too quickly as you may bruise yourself in this area. Just use the technique of 'Totally' relaxing yourself and after you have conquered the relaxing of the pelvic muscles, after a few weeks you will be really pleasantly surprized how much width you will easily gain naturally yourself and then you will see that a lot of what you may think is not wide enough is in fact much wider than you think and you will see that a lot of it was in fact just your muscles tensing in this area. Then, those dilators you have now, you will be keeping those in the bottom drawer and looking on to bigger and better things. Don't rush this though but do it gradually and just totally relax about the whole thing and don't worry yourself about what size each hospital uses, just be you and enjoy.

You will eventually find that the largest of the dilators given to you by the hospital will end up being much too small for you as the months pass providing you relax and enjoy the muscle technique.

The largest of the dilators hospitals hand out, my friends can use proper adult toys if you get my meaning 2.5 times rounder than the largest size given to them by the hospitals without any trouble very easily but, they are a few years post op and are very active as girls. The key is; Relax and take things slowly and it will work out great.

Candy. XX

Thanks Candy,

But I don't have a problem dilating with my size five dilator which seems to suit my pelvic girdle size I have a small female frame I'm only five four[160mm] slim build, all I wanted to know is what size as in [mm's diameter] do American surgeons recommend for their patients. in other words do they vary? For example the size five I got from my surgeon here in NZ is 35mm diameter his size six is 38mm which is almost the thickness of my wrist. Because of my small frame "size does matter." On one Thai surgeon's website Dr Chittawat's it mentions pelvic girdle sizes and that some patients may not reach the largest dilator his supply's, that is 33mm diameter.

This was a great help to me because my surgeon did say that when I was 'under' during my Zplasty his found he had difficuly gettting the number six size dilator in. It's more out of interest my wanting to know the different size dilators diffrent surgeons recommed in other parts of the world. Plus I'm sure others who are looking into having surgery would be interested in the different size dilators that surgeons use perhaps like myself, for many size does matter. I personally am now content with my size five. So if any of your post op friends who had surgery in the states still have their original dilator given to them by their surgeon, I would be interested to find out what sizes they are. Thanks again Metta Jendar

[SugarCandyBabe]

Hey Mettta, ok, so I got it wrong! Sorry!

I asked my flatmate Lis, people here know her as 'Lisa'. if she can help as my surgery was done on the continent. Lis spent most her life in the US but, I'm afraid to say she said she doesn't have a clue cause her surgery was also done on the continent. I'm truly sorry I got it wrong and can't give you the answer you are looking for.

Hey, might I suggest something though? If it were me? I would look-up some reputable surgeons in the States and literally give them call, or better still, just ask them via e.mail There's no harm done by it.

Candy XX

[Guest Leah1026]

Hey Metta,

I shouldn't worry about it too much!

I was given oestrogens/progesterone therapy at puberty so my pelvic/hip bones widened as a normal female but, I have friends in the same position as yourself and they said, at first they found dilating a bit nervey and wasn't too sure about the size of dilator to use?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is a trans myth. Basic pelvic shape is already set by age 12 and it does NOT change. I'm a radiologic technologist and take x-rays and see bones all the time. Research has shown even if you started HRT at 9 years old you'd only get a slight benefit in the pelvis department. The benefit you do get is in the soft tissues, your fat distribution will be very close to that of a natal female. I could go into detail of the differences between male and female pelvi if you like. A x-ray of your pelvis can easily confirm what I've stated. The bigger benefit from starting early is keeping the rib cage small. If the rib cage is small the pelvis will naturally look larger. A large rib cage is the bane of all of us who started later.

On topic: My dilators are one and one eighth, one and one quarter, and one three eighths in diameter. I saw Dr Bowers and she gave me her "small set". I have no idea what the diameters of her "large set" are. I know several gals on another site that have bought specially made dilators up to 2 inches in diameter. I can't imagine using them, but they claim it's good for accomadating big guys.

[Guest Michelle M]

I can't find much on the subject of dilation. All I read is that at first it should be done twice a day for a long time, then over the years it gets to be less.

I'm a little afraid of it. Does it hurt at all? How many minutes per day does it take? I'm hoping it is painless/easy, or becomes an easy part of a daily routine and I could treat is as part of my daily maintenance routine along with facial moisturizing and exercise. I'd like to know what to expect.

[Guest Leah1026]

I can't find much on the subject of dilation. All I read is that at first it should be done twice a day for a long time, then over the years it gets to be less.

I'm a little afraid of it. Does it hurt at all? How many minutes per day does it take? I'm hoping it is painless/easy, or becomes an easy part of a daily routine and I could treat is as part of my daily maintenance routine along with facial moisturizing and exercise. I'd like to know what to expect.

Like so many other things transition related YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary). My experience will be different from your experience. For me it wasn't like anything I was expecting, but at the same time felt natural. Pain was less than I expected. Just take your time during insertion and you'll be fine. The challenge comes when you move up a size. Most surgeons give you a set of 3-5 dilators. I got a 3 dilator set. Frequency of dilation varies greatly depending on which surgeon you use. I think my doc (Dr Bowers) is on the low end (3 dilations of 15 min/day) and Dr McGinn is at the high end (6 dilations/day). It really varies A LOT, so do your research. Right now I'm using both my small and medium dilator, so even though officially it says 15 minutes, it usually takes me more like 45. I use the small to open things up and then switch to the medium one after 10-15 minutes. The nurses in the hospital will instruct you on how to dilate. Once I've got the dilator in I just relax and listen to music. There's really not to it really and I will warn you it can get tedious at times.

Most surgeons are using similar SRS techniques and recovery is also similar. However, Dr Suporn uses a more involved technique and recovery from SRS with him is more involved and takes longer. I know some Supornistas won't like what I said, but it's true. His techniques and results may be superior, but it comes at a cost. I would urge anyone planning on using Dr Suporn to plan plenty of time for recovery (8+ weeks). I have a friend who had surgery with him and she suggests 3 months!

Getting back to dilation. Frequency of dilation decreases with time. I started at 3x/day and now I'm down to 2x/day and in a couple more months I'll go down to once a day. Finally by one year out I'll be able to go down to a couple times a week. All this dilation basically trains your body to accept the new addition. If you don't dilate you can lose depth and if you totally slack off the girl thing can close up altogether. I keep telling myself that all this time and trouble will pay off in the long run (in more ways than one). Now a quick note to those that say they are asexual or lesbian: Don't let your feelings about NOT having penetrative sex stop you from dilating! Why? Because those feelings could change and if you haven't dilated you won't be able to have intercourse. That would be incredibly frustrating.

There is a pdf of Dr Bowers discharge instructions, that includes dilation, available at her site: MarciBowers.com. Also I believe there is dilation information at Anne Lawrence's site.

It's normal to be afraid of the unknown. In the years leading up to surgery I read surgical blogs done by various people to become familiar with the routine. Amberspace.net is back on-line after an absence and she has a good discription of her experience. I also took consolation in the fact that thousands of others have had surgery before me, including several friends in the year before me, and they all came out fine. As I wrote on another thread: going to one of the major docs greatly minimizes the chances of complications.

After a couple months I'm still in awe. For the first time since I was a child I'm happy with my body. I finally have peace of mind and the dysphoria is GONE. Anyone who says SRS is merely cosmetic is crazy. It may be "cosmetic" to them, but it was a very affirming, and necessary, experience for me. As Bree said in "TransAmerica" to the gatekeeper-type psychiatrist that was writing her 2nd letter:

Don't you find it odd that surgery can cure a "mental disorder"?

Point being (MtF) we're not men with a mental disorder, we're women with a physical condition!!!

Hope this helps.

[Guest Michelle M]

Thank you very much, Leah. I saved your post to a text file on my computer just so I'll always be able to refer to your information.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Leigh T,

I thought it best if I post this reply to your question in a more appropriately related 'thread' [i'm sure cd'ers don't want to know about dilation-however I could be wrong]

When I was dilating on a daily bases then twice weekly I could insert the dilator the full lengh[20cms-just under 8 inches], that is it would go in leaving just enough for me to clasp the end with the tips of my fingers to remove it[that was shortly after I had a zplasty]...Now that my post maintenance is once a week, I'm comfortable with a depth of around 5 1/2 inches-around 14cms [using the number five dilator]...Because I'm non sexual I'm not worried about the depth, dilating for me is just to maintain the opening...

I hope this answers your question...

Metta Jendar

[Guest Leigh T]

Kia Ora Leigh T,

I thought it best if I post this reply to your question in a more appropriately related 'thread' [i'm sure cd'ers don't want to know about dilation-however I could be wrong]

When I was dilating on a daily bases then twice weekly I could insert the dilator the full lengh[20cms-just under 8 inches], that is it would go in leaving just enough for me to clasp the end with the tips of my fingers to remove it[that was shortly after I had a zplasty]...Now that my post maintenance is once a week, I'm comfortable with a depth of around 5 1/2 inches-around 14cms [using the number five dilator]...Because I'm non sexual I'm not worried about the depth, dilating for me is just to maintain the opening...

I hope this answers your question...

Metta Jendar

Thank you. Before I go any further, I have been addressing you as Jendar. Is that your first name or last name? I've been assuming Metta was a Mauri phrase for goodbye.

Since we both used the same group of surgeons, we both are using identical dilators. For the first year, I dilated a couple days a week with all the stents. Afterwards, I cut way back to a few times a month because I was supplementing dilation with the use of my vibrator. About 1 1/2 years ago, I let my routine slip to the point that I didn't dilate but for a few times during that period. Earlier this year I started dating another woman who wanted to be sexually active with me (someone who wanted to be with me during my previous life). She bought a variety of 'toys' so I knew I needed to get back into my routine if I was to perform. WOW!!! Don't ever give up on your routine because reacquainting yourself to the dilators is a very painful experience (again). I'm back up to the third dilator in the set of six and I'm happy to say the depth never decreased. It is still near 8 to 8 1/2 inches.

[Guest Leigh T]

Good morning Jendar,

First, I've been assuming that Metta was a form of goodbye in Mauri. Did I assume correctly or is Metta your first name online?

Since you and I have had the same group of surgeons, we also most likely have the same set of stents/dilators. Like you, I went though utilizing all six stents within a couple of months post-op. However, I let slip my dilating routine in mid 2007. I started back up a couple of months ago and it has been painful. Don't ever drop your dilation routine!!! I'm back up to the third stent and fortunately the depth has remained 8 to 8 1/2 inches.

Leigh

[Guest angie]

My BFF is six months postop dialates twice daily.

She told me if she forgets,she pays the price when she does dialate.

But I know she has become veeeery comfortable dialating now.

I was at her place and she disappeared.I heard her laughing and

went to check it out.I had an idea that is what she was doing.

She was laying on her back on her bed,dialating,watching a sitcom

and laughing her tail off.So that told me how common it has become

to her,how comfortable she is with the effort.I know it sure made me

grin to know what I have to look forward to.(smile)

Angie

[Guest Zenda]

I know it sure made me

grin to know what I have to look forward to.(smile)

Angie

Kia Ora Angie.

Girl be careful what you wish for[ I'm talking about the 'dilation' part of genital affirming surgery] There will be times of frustration, possibly tears, a sense of hopelessness, not to mention for the first 3 months dilations rules your life-you rush to get things done between dilations...

Metta Jendar

[Guest angie]

Kia Ora Angie.

Girl be careful what you wish for[ I'm talking about the 'dilation' part of genital affirming surgery] There will be times of frustration, possibly tears, a sense of hopelessness, not to mention for the first 3 months dilations rules your life-you rush to get things done between dilations...

Metta Jendar

Bueno Ms J,

I know,Sue is my very best girl.And I have heard her complaints about the time,effort and pain involved in the first three months.But to someone who has waited allllll this time,I am looking forward to everything that has to do with anything, after becoming complete.

That,

Angie Girl

[Guest Zenda]

Good morning Jendar,

First, I've been assuming that Metta was a form of goodbye in Mauri. Did I assume correctly or is Metta your first name online?

Leigh

Kia Ora Leigh, [Kia Ora is a Maori greeting like 'hello' ]

The word 'Metta' is a Pali word [Pali being the language they spoke in India at the time of the Buddha] it means 'Loving Kindness' I end my posts with 'Loving Kindness' and begin then with a 'greeting' and 'Jendar' is just my forum name...

Metta Jendar

[Guest Michelle Hayden]

My smallest is 1" the largest is i believe 1-5/8" Mine are made of Lucite, so they are not pliable. You cant base diameter exactly on the real thing of course. Some surgeons dilators are alittle bigger, or you can pay to get what is an extra large diameter, but the last one is usually that the norm is.