Brit Transwoman Wants to De-Transition

[Carolyn Marie]

This should spark some lively discussion. It does serve to point out that not everyone is happy with transition.

http://www.parentdis...to-being-a-boy/

Carolyn Marie

[Guest LizMarie]

I wonder how much of this is due to her rejection socially. I wonder what she thinks she will accomplish by de-transitioning but I certainly would not stop her.

People need to understand that transition by itself is nothing magical. It can (not will, but can) address the specific problem of gender dysphoria. Being socially outward going, making friends, being interactive with the rest of the world, takes effort by every single person who wants those things. Being a woman won't automatically make you more attractive, socially accepted, or anything else. Whether we are male or female we each have to put forth the effort to create and then sustain our own social space, of whatever size and composition we each choose. I often think that many people believe transitioning is some form of magic bullet to solve all their problems. It's not and, at least in one sense, it may even cause more problems (often "good" problems in that you can be yourself finally but problems even still).

[Guest Wendy F]

It sounds more like a lack of support from family and friends is pushing her to detransition than anything else. I do wish her luck with whatever her decision is. She was really the youngest to get that treatment in the UK? Wow! I am 17 and getting doing HRT. Does that make me one of the youngest in the US? I would find that hard to believe!

[Guest Mia J]

There have been a few people who have regretted going through with GRS but they are in the minority.

To me this just points out the need for lots of work with specialists and not just going through the system to be very sure of what you want and what your need. I do feel sorry for her as the road back will be much harder.

I did know one TS who regretted going all the way through with GRS. However she never really adapted a female presentation and admitted that this was the wrong thing for her to do.

Mia

[Guest KimberlyF]

Poorly written article. Shocking.

My guess is she's a pre-op and 'full transgender operation' is SRS that she won't be having now.

This is supposed to be how the process works. You check out every part of the process before moving on.

[Guest Paradox]

Sometimes it is good that it takes a little time for the process to happen. As was suggested, it gives a person time to reconsider their final decision. I agree that this is not a failure of the system, but an affirmation.

[Guest Zeda]

First reaction:

Phew, that settles it, this is the route for me. I have drastic mood swings all the time and I am not on hormones. Clearly, this means I should be a woman.

...

Oh dear, extrapolation.

Second reaction:

"full transgender operation" ? Really?

Third reaction:

This is good news! As has been stated already, this means the current process works! Sure, it will be a bit more difficult if she wants kids in the future, but at least she didn't make it through SRS before realizing, "ya know, I kinda don't really want this."

Also, I think that if she was a prostitute for some time, there must be some major underlying issues.

[Guest Melissa~]

It's too bad that she decided to pursue things as far as she did, and thus wind up being some sort of reality TV contestant (gag.) It's a good thing to take an honest assessment and say no to the surgery, it does -not- have to be done young, even if she changes her mind a million times(a woman's prerogative). HT's mental effects on adults is much mitigated from what I can tell, compared to giving them to a fifteen year old or whatever age she started HT. Differentiating those with XXY conditions etc, all adults have lived through the normal puberty process, and for those in the dysphoric class of TG we have longed for being other gender. In plenty of cases that meant also loathed our personal development, something she has not fully dealt with.

When young maybe she knew she was a girl, I've certainly heard that plenty of times, in those cases I support the current best treatment practice of lots of counselling and suspending puberty development until 18 years old, not full HT, and certainly not an early surgery.

Given that she wants to reverse the effects of her to HT and transition to He, He would probably need T in order for that to work depending on just what they did with the existing HT treatment. Thus why I support the non transitional treatment of teenagers at least untill they can blame no others for being complicit in their treatments as a minor.

In very short I'm annoyed by people not following the rules and thus leaving black marks on me bvy association once again. I take take Finasteride by prescription dang it!

[Guest KimberlyF]

Melissa,

I'm a bit confused by your post.

" In plenty of cases that meant also loathed our personal development, something she has not fully dealt with."

How do you know exactly what this person has or hasn't dealt with? There are plenty of Trans teens who have killed themselves because they have found things bad enough.

"I support the current best treatment practice of lots of counselling and suspending puberty development until 18 years old, not full HT, and certainly not an early surgery."

This one has me stumped because Im not that aware on how the other half lives. How do they do this for FtMs?

"In very short I'm annoyed by people not following the rules and thus leaving black marks on me bvy association once again."

Who didn't follow what rules? And who would consider you marked by them?

[Drea]

It seems to me "mood swings" can't really be the cause as there are ways of moderating that. It could be more than hormones just don't suit her.

It could be non-acceptance, however that is pretty standard, at least those without the social skills to overcome it. It is a reality and one has to acknowlege it. Such is why the treatments of changing gender public roles, hormones, and SRS should be undertaken only as means to address serious real life issues and then only those related to gender presentation dysphoria and/or gender body dysphoria. I think to blame her being less happy on external things such as family non-acceptance or general social acceptance level is off the mark and ignores the broader issues of herself..

There is no way of knowing just why this non-acceptance occurs. Is it a result of of her "transitioning" or is it a results of her actions such as those dangeruous situations with men or working as a prostitute. What came first? She doesn't know who to trust as friends? That is beyond just who accepts and not. There is something else to the story.

I tend to agree with the comments about maturity.

Child psychologist Karen Sherr, formerly of Great Ormond Street Hospital, said: "It's absolutely ludicrous for young kids to make such huge, life-changing decisions... and for doctors and their parents to support it.

"At that age you haven't developed fully, neither physically nor emotionally.

"Children need to be allowed to grow into adults before they go through with something like a sex change because, as this case shows, at that age you don t know yourself well enough."

Seems to me that adults don't even know themselves particularly well in some instances. Seems to me there are enough challenges growing up and that a bit of time and development of perspective before making permant changes is good. Furthermore when one considers how being CD continues to have negative connotations and often is looked down within the trans community, while "transsexual" who really are women (In case of MTF) and "transitioning" are cleary more acceptable and more positive, it isn't suprising that a young teen male, who is already feeling shame for having some CD feelings, would latch onto this idea that they really are a woman.

Most CD after all do feel they have at least a feminine side or partial feminity and don't view it as simply a fetish. That seems to be lost in these days of "transition or not transition" framework that is now widespread. This circumstances highlights how treatment has change. Chaged from where individuals seeking treatment for gender dysphoria also had to deal with their general life issues as well as treatments for the dysphoria could including things such as hormones, full time public gender role change and SRS to where now it is largely a "I need to transition" decision and "transition" itself is the cure when in many instances the biggest life problems have nothing at all to do with the person's gender role. The sad thing is that often there is this perception that fixing the gender issue will solve those general life issues when the reality is that it will make those other things even more challenging.

It is axiomatic from my observations that one who has made life work before will do well after and those who have had general life issues prior and don't deal with them when dealing with the trans stuff have a harder time after.

Edited October 30, 2012 by Drea
proofread, fixed some things, added last sentence

[Guest Melissa~]

Kimberly, I will break down your concerns so you might understand my post.

The story certainly cannot cover her whole case. The article does specify that her emotional state deteriorated after HT, which was started without familial support. She implicates the hormones in her emotional distress, while seeming to ignore the influence others had on her.

Hormone blockers such as Lupron and Tamoxifen are applicable to teenage FtM's for female developmental suppression. (I'm familiar with Tamoxifen my mother takes it for hormone suppression related to her cancer treatment).

The rules as set forth in the Standards of Care don't appear to be ignored, it just appears that she has too many things going wrong, that may not have been revealed in her treatment, yet somehow get released in a news story? Regardless like I said above she can address her needs in due time, in the meantime she needs to stabilize. Parentdish news doesn't appear to be a healthy way to address problems.

My statement: "When young maybe she knew she was a girl, I've certainly heard that plenty of times" might be snarky but the documented instance of children stating gender dysphoria only results in an adult transgender person as rare as 6% of the time(referenced in the WPATH SOC). No children don't really know what they want or are, it takes time and experience, which Ms Cooper is acquiring. Her current detransition idea appears to be driven by blaming HT, instead of acknowledging apparent social impediments.

As far marks by association one needs to look no further than public comments like: "fromthe[sic] south

Never in a million years should this be funded by he NHS.

Same as body dismorphia[sic], or any cosmetic proceedures[sic]."

It's my intent is to have insurance cover srs, the fewer tabloid grade stories out there with "fromthe south" people commenting the better.

[Guest KimberlyF]

My statement: "When young maybe she knew she was a girl, I've certainly heard that plenty of times" might be snarky but the documented instance of children stating gender dysphoria only results in an adult transgender person as rare as 6% of the time(referenced in the WPATH SOC).

She didn't start the process as a child but as a 15yo. The percentage listed in the SOC for children is 6% but then it jumps to 70% for adolescents.

For the record, this is a difficult subject. Maybe the hardest one for me personally. If my child were to come to me, I'd want to end their suffering, but also make sure they were right. I would never want to risk sterilization too early.

I also don't see one person turning back as a threat to me or a black mark. I see this as a good thing. Even with the operation being approved by NHS so cost not being an issue, this person isn't going to make the state pay for it because they followed the protocol. At this time it is not for them.

[Guest Jenni_S]

It's my intent is to have insurance cover srs, the fewer tabloid grade stories out there with "fromthe south" people commenting the better.

The insurance companies don't care one way or the other what's in the news. The only thing concerning them is whether they getting paid a premium to cover a given procedure or service. SRS coverage can easily be added to any policy, if the policyholder is willing to pay for it.

Going after the insurance companies for not covering SRS is barking up the wrong tree. If it's not covered by your policy, speak to your policyholder. Your employer, group administrator, or whoever is in charge of making the decisions about your health insurance.

[Guest Minerva]

What I got from that article is that she wishes to detransition because lack of acceptance from the people around her. For her living as a boy seems easier despite the genderdysphoria.

I don't thing this incident can be used as an argument against the treatment of adolescent transsexuals. In The Netherlands transgender children can receive puberty blockers by the age of 12 and cross sex hormones at 16. To this day not a single one of the adolescents who went through this process has expressed any regret. Because of this early treatment neither their past nor appearance will hinder them. This is almost always different for those who start transition well after their puberty.

[Guest LizMarie]

Personally, for children, I support the use of hormone blockers but not estrogen or testosterone therapy until they are older. Hormone blockers can put a halt to the bad effects of either form of physical gender expression sufficiently that the child has time to really assess things in detail. If they then choose at 18 years of age to continue with HRT and beyond then that is an adult making the choice. But for kids, I feel like hormone blockers, therapy, and parental support should be sufficient while the child figures himself or herself out.

[Guest LaciGirl]

I agree with what Liz stated earlier in that transition itself doesn't fix whatever problems someone has. Obviously this person has had a lot to deal with.

Who's to say that her family will be any more accepting of her once she does detransition? I hope that doesn't happen...

[Guest Minerva]

Personally, for children, I support the use of hormone blockers but not estrogen or testosterone therapy until they are older. Hormone blockers can put a halt to the bad effects of either form of physical gender expression sufficiently that the child has time to really assess things in detail. If they then choose at 18 years of age to continue with HRT and beyond then that is an adult making the choice.

Ideal as it may sound, that solution isn't really working either. Many children who are on puberty blockers for years on end tend to grow abnormally tall.

There is also the added stress that you physically remain a child while all your friends are going through puberty, discovering their bodies and dating. Many transgender children on puberty blockers alone feel left out.

[Sakura]

I imagine the number of detransitioners to be much higher , than popularly believed . i have known many who have detransitioned , or come to realize they are simple crossdressers, though i imagine too that there is little simplicity in that route either. and post op regret as i have heard tends to happen 5, 10 or more years after the operation. Social gender transition or not being able to do it to the level they have fantisized about, seem to be some of the more popular reasons i have heard for detransitioning. I think alot also happens due to misdiagnosis or self diagnosis , and then that diagnosis being perpetuated or validated by other trans minded individuals. I have seen it even in this forum " if you do not like what your therapist is telling you , find one that will tell you what you want to hear " maybe not in those exact words , but the same message. even at meetings i have seen this phenomena , were a person will say they are having doubts. or thier therapist is refusing to write them letters, on some or all aspects of transition , and the group will caccoon the person , in praise and validation and encouragment. instead of really taking note and addressing that said person has a legitmate concern .

I feel for this person, she obviously did not get the help she really needed. and will now possibly spend a great many years attempting to fix the damage to her life.

Sakura

[Guest]

Most know of our mission to prevent suicides but our second mission is to keep people from making mistakes. From our mail the ones Who ask me about breast removal after transitioning for a year or two and de-transitioning were either Crossdressers or "transgenderists" http://www.lauras-playground.com/transgenderists.htm . Anyone who is not "Transsexual" should not consider SRS. As Drea and Sakura mention the stigma sometimes make people think they are something that they are not. There is no shame in living the role on hormones or not. We will still support you here. The question to ask youself is can I live wihthout what is between my legs now? If you can than you should be OK if you are considering SRS. Even though this person's therapist seems against Transitioning another gender therapist might help. Of course getting a therapist is a different health system than ours. Try getting an appointment.

The new SOC no longer requires a therapist but highly recommends one as do I. This could make matter worse, not better. SUrgery of this kind is of course life altering and a therapist should be consulted.

Laura