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So i took a leap...


Guest Mikayla724

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Guest Mikayla724

Hi everyone my names Amanda,

My old name was Mike, I am still currently a RI National Guard soldier and I just returned from a deployment. I live in CT and took a leap of faith did some research and just went to the VA and told them i was Transgender and went from there. all the people there were super nice and understanding everything is super confidential, they took my labs and gave me a free flu shot which was awesome now I'm just waiting to hear back on my labs and schedule an appointment with a endocrinologist next week and well we get things going. I'm shocked at how smoothly everything has been going. and i had my first awkward transgender moment in the waiting room they came out and called me by amanda while i was still dressed as a boy. I found it pretty funny, i have found if you can't laugh at those type of awkward moments or just brush them off you'll just dwell on them and they will make you very upset so just be yourself and have fun wit life. I'm not really sure what the point of this post was maybe a combination of letting others it really is that easy if you have the courage to just go out and say who you are to the right people.

now for a little backstory i have felt i different all my life, i wont say i played with all the girls and dolls and stuff growing up as a little boy because it isn't true i love playing outside getting dirty doing boy things it wasn't until around age 12-13 i started wanting to wear girls clothes, make up, date boys, all while still going outdoors and snowboarding and such but i didn't feel i was gay i was just out of place. i discovered what transgender meant and i found that fit me perfectly. i didn't get the courage to start telling my closest friends till i joined the army and well now we are 4 yrs later and the dysphoria has gotten to me and i just want out ad to be the girl i always was i just couldn't see it. I told my girlfriend of almost 3 yrs now and shes excited to have me as a girlfriend apparently she's been a closet lesbian for sometime and im attracted to both sexs so we are going to try our hardest to make everything work :). recently i told almost all my friends that i'm a transwoman and they all accepted me a little out of the blue and shocked but they said its my life to live and they wouldn't ruin our friendship over something so small :D , which is super amazing! i told my extended family and my parents aren't really part of my life any more so i have A LOT of support. and I'm hoping i can get medically discharge by next year and living full time around may. thats wishful thinking as we all know the army likes to play games but we shall see :D

thanks for looking at my rant!,

Amanda :D

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  • Root Admin

Hello Amanda,

Welcome to the Playground. Thank you for sharing your story with us. :)

MaryEllen

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Guest AlanaMarie

Hi, Amanda,

Congratulations on taking a leap. I know how good you must feel land I am certaily glad you posted your story here. It is such a relief to take that step, be out, and find the wonderful support all us girls need as we transition. My experience with VA is similar to yours and I am thankful for their professionalism and courtesy.

Hopefully, you will write more about your experiences as you move along. It's good to share our experiences so that those who follow us will have an easier time in their transition.

You go girl!

AlanaMarie

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Guest Karen K

Amanda,

Wow! It seems that the stars are alined for you and your transition. Please be aware this is a long, difficult road with many downfalls. Be happy, but be cautious, especially with the military; a Dishonorable Discharge would haunt you wherever you. And I do know that gender identity dysphoria is grounds for immediate discharge. I am former Navy and waited till I was long out before pursuing transition.

That being said, I think you are very blessed to have a girlfriend who accepts you and friends who support you too. It doesn't get any better than that. Oh, and let me thank you for your service to this country, you are a strong and an honorable woman. Hold your head high.

Laura Jane

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome to Laura's Amanda and thanks for sharing. Many of us were tomboys and i still am. I love working the farm and would prefer a day on the tractor than a day in the kitchen. I guess i'm just an old butch girl. Its nice to use the girl word though.

Please keep us in touch. We ask that you read the terms and conditions at the bottom of any page. Hope to see you around.

Hugs,

Charlie

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Guest Mikayla724

Amanda,

Wow! It seems that the stars are alined for you and your transition. Please be aware this is a long, difficult road with many downfalls. Be happy, but be cautious, especially with the military; a Dishonorable Discharge would haunt you wherever you. And I do know that gender identity dysphoria is grounds for immediate discharge. I am former Navy and waited till I was long out before pursuing transition.

That being said, I think you are very blessed to have a girlfriend who accepts you and friends who support you too. It doesn't get any better than that. Oh, and let me thank you for your service to this country, you are a strong and an honorable woman. Hold your head high.

Laura Jane

Its a bit different in the guard at least i hope, I'm pretty well known in my unit as one of the golden "boys". always on time, good pt score, good mechanic, good crewchief. and i know a lot of the guys on a personal level i don't think they'd do that to me. but I'm sure it could happen. either way i'm taking every precaution possible to keep them from knowing until I'm ready. i have 2 years left on my contract with them and if i start HRT soon i don't think id be able to make it those 2 years without going full time.

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Hello Amanda

Welcome to Laura's and to a fellow Vet. I'm watching National Salute to Veterans on PBS and crying my heart out because a young woman was talking about a father she lost in Viet Nam. I lost buddies in that war as other here have lost friends in other wars. Our countries greatnest isn't due to our government or the corporations or the politicians.

Our countries greatness is due to the service and the sacrifices of our veterans who unselfishly put it all on the line to preserve and protect our way of life. Amanda, I'm glad the VA is treating you well. Their job is to heal us and care for us Vets and treat us with dignity and respect. I'm glad that is how they are treating you. Welcome to Laura's Amanda. We are happy to have you join us.

KathrynJulia

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Guest Jessicaann

Hi Amanda!,

I too have felt the way you do. I am currently active duty marine Corps Infantry. i am returning from my 2nd deployment to Afghanistan. I started coming out around last year and have never been happier. i know its tough being in a "male" job being transgender. I wish the best for you and let me know how all the VA stuff goes so i can have some insight for when i get out next year :)

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Guest Mikayla724

Hi Amanda!,

I too have felt the way you do. I am currently active duty marine Corps Infantry. i am returning from my 2nd deployment to Afghanistan. I started coming out around last year and have never been happier. i know its tough being in a "male" job being transgender. I wish the best for you and let me know how all the VA stuff goes so i can have some insight for when i get out next year :)

i sure will let you know how everything goes i have my date to go see the mental health therapist on the 27th. I'm sooooo excited!

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  • 2 months later...
Guest Mikayla724

little bit of an update, I've been seeing my psychiatrist for the past few months now and he reffered me to a psychologist. She told me I fit perfectly into their criteria for being trangender and gave me a go at that station. so on the 7th I find out when and if i can start taking hormones from my psychiatrist. I start working at my new job/career at Sikorsky in Stratford, CT. SUPER EXCITED about that! little concerned how I should go about talking to them about me being transgender. Do I wait till after my 30 day review? Do I tell them tomorrow at the orientation, or within the next week? I'm going to put these questions up in another area on the forums that has to do with more work related stuff as it will prolly get more response but all will be taking into account!

thanks!

-Amanda <3

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  • Forum Moderator

I wish i knew more about the militaries policies but please wait for someone with more knowledge to respond before getting into trouble. Sometimes patience is the best tactic. Sorry i'm not up on military matters. Do you have an advocate you can talk too/ that might help.

Hugs,

Charlie

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Guest Mikayla724

UGH i can't WAIT to get a good word hopefully next thursday. another update my best friend's sister gave me a HUGE garbage bag full of purse's and matching wallets and clothes that semi fit and some fit. and I'm just glad i have such a good friend group that is supportive of me :)

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Guest CassieX

Hi Amanda. I retired from the Navy early 2011 and waited to begin my transition later that year. My best advice is to reiterate what others have said, be Very Very careful if you are doing any major transition steps while on active duty. It is not worth losing your benefits or damaging your future career prospects with a negative discharge. I just had my initial VA appointment last Friday and got a free flu shot too, lol! It was a little humourous for me. The nurse was very nice and the doctor was respectful though she did have some difficulty finding the right referral codes to get me set up to see an endocronologist. It seems the VA computer system says no if you put in transgender, you have to put in transsexual. :doh1:

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Guest GinaInside

Hi Amanda,

I'm very glad for you, that the Army is becoming more understanding. It was'nt so when I was in :P

Good luck with your Transition, I wish you all the best.

Hugz,

Gina

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  • 2 months later...
Guest Mikayla724

so I went for a bit with the name Amanda but after a bunch of my close friends started calling me that it seems off, that and I'm still finding myself and who i am so i went back to a name with a mik sound and I'm here to stay with Mikayla! But great news i Started my HRT on April 1st (and i know what your thinking its a joke!) and so far so good. My Endocrinologist has me on estradiol patches * mg and spironolactone **mg tablets and have resulted with surprisingly fast breast growth!!! Everything is going great I'm going next week to talk with my Flight surgeon and get a down slip for the spiro and tell her I'm trans and hopefully it goes well.

Edited by MaryEllen
Removed dosages per rule 18 if the site Terms and Conditions
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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Mikayla724

So I'm looking for a little bit of advice on how I should tell the military, because I am national guard I'm not there full time, so just going down to see the mental health docs are a little but more difficult. So who should I go to first I've already been to the VA and I'm actually on HRT. Should I stop the HRT (under my doctors guidance) tell the military go through the same 8 month process of being diagnosed with GID again?!? Or should I just tell them I've already gotten diagnosised through the VA and show them all the paper work supporting it and hope it goes over well?

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Guest Gina9223

Ive got good news and bad news.

Bad news, Im in Bangkok recovering from a serious SLEP. I fly back Saturday and hopefully I will be back at work next week.

Good news, by now you know what 'Old Engneering Building 2nd floor' means.

Better news, Im co-chair for Pride at Sikorsky.

Even better news, one of my friends had the same issue. So once I get back Ill introduce you to her.

The great news, UTC/Sikorsky has 100%+ on the HRC CEI and they honor it. We (Pride @ Sikorsky) are really there to help with your situation and direct you to the needed resources.Once I get back I'll send you the resource lists.

Also PM'd you my work email.

lucky you...

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Guest Mikayla724

Ive got good news and bad news.

Bad news, Im in Bangkok recovering from a serious SLEP. I fly back Saturday and hopefully I will be back at work next week.

Good news, by now you know what 'Old Engneering Building 2nd floor' means.

Better news, Im co-chair for Pride at Sikorsky.

Even better news, one of my friends had the same issue. So once I get back Ill introduce you to her.

The great news, UTC/Sikorsky has 100%+ on the HRC CEI and they honor it. We (Pride @ Sikorsky) are really there to help with your situation and direct you to the needed resources.Once I get back I'll send you the resource lists.

Also PM'd you my work email.

lucky you...

This is just about the best news I've heard in while minus the start of HRT!

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Guest Gina9223

Hey, I keep a weather eye on the boards for those that have a hand outstretched. I do try to help as many as I can but I'm better at military and since I work in a Military Industral place ....well the numbers are in my favor that 'you' wold show up. Your not the first coworker I've stumbled across doing this your like...... Um..... Uhh... #5? #6? #7? Yeah 7, of those 7 one left for a higher paying job closer to home. Another was a PIA and worked long and hard to get fired. (some people simply are a PIA and I'm no miracle worker)

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Gina9223

I get to say it! Mikayla took a leap and we caught her!

…in a good way.

This is one of the nice things about networking on these boards the ability to help someone out who’s local to you. To help them before they ever show up or start down their path to transition. To be able to talk to them in real life, answer all of their questions, introduce them to the local community and the community at their work so OUR community can help them over all the obstacles many of which we’ve already tackled so she won’t have to lie awake at nights worrying needlessly.

Mikayla is lucky and I wish we could do more but for this little bit of the world we have a good support network (even if it is tiny) in place.

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