what would this be considered?

[Guest eddieC123]

As you may have noted I have posted in another part of the forums about starting the transition process and looking for places to start. My friend who is around my age 14 or 15 and is also ftm transgender but lives in a different state then I do told me he started testosterone maybe a week-two weeks ago. I am getting to the part about violence though this is a bit different then most likely expected. He only came out maybe beginning of this year to my knowalge but just changed his name (not legally) but he is the one starting physical fights because of being called by the wrong gender or his legal name and told me that he had to hold his own friends back from causing harm to people calling him by the wrong gender or name. He even told a friend of ours he was so fed up with a kid who he just met that if he kept calling him a girl he had no problem punching him. I know myself I dont like being called my given name or gender but I dont see what being violent or having other people be violent for you would solve... It makes me upset to think that my friend who I met just before January this year would result to something like that although it may be unplesent...violence solves nothing. I dont know what the real story is as far as his transition now though because there seems suddenly to be many holes in the story as far as what really happened but it makes me worried that had he not started to really take hrt yet that when he does start to transition has that not already been the case will he be happy even then if he feels its not working enough and if he has trouble passing as he gets older until the physical changes are noticable rather he really has started or is going to but will that cause more of a problem with his agression, not just because of the hrt but his anger and other feelings are seeming to become worse when he gets mad or will use substances to cope at this time already in his life. I know moat of the time when it comes to violence in the news regarding the lgbt communities its almost always a hate crime committed against an lgbt person but im concerned for my friend and his sudden drastic change in behavior and he has already had problems with getting in to physical fights in the past even when he was living his life as female and seemed to have no desire to be anything but female according to the site we met on when we first talked, there was many old posts on there. Im concerned for my friend though because of his close to violent out bursts :/ does anyone have any advice i could say to him to keep him from getting into trouble and to help him accept that its not an over night thing for people to get used to rather you take hrt or not?? Sorry this is so long

[KathrynJulia]

Eddie

How well do you know this friend? Reason I ask is no reputable doctor in the US would prescribe Testosterone to a teenager. He or she would open themselves up to liability and possible suspension of their medical license. Testosterone is a schedule class of drug that is tightly controlled by the Food and Drug because of it's potential for abuse. And it is consider to be unethical to prescribe hormonr therapy to teenagers. The WPATH recommends puberty lockers be administered until a person is of adult age.

Is your friend seeing a therapist? Reason I ask that is it sounds like they have serious anger management issues by engaging in fights and that is a fast way to get themselves into legal troubles. I hope that your transition is more peaceful one. Kathryn

[Guest eddieC123]

I met them online but a friend of mine knew them personally because the friend of mine that I knew in person used to live in the same state as my online friend. im beginning to have my doubts about this friend whom I know online though in many different ways now though because so many things that have been said to me about different things in their life are no longer what I wad first told ECT ECT, so I dont know if they are being honest with me about much of anything or if they have been at all now. I talked to said person just the other night and two days before that their voice was alot different like they said after being on t for not quite two weeks that their voice had dropped to that level but when we talked the other night they sounded exactly like they used to very high feminine voice and also they had told me they had already started to grow facial hair but upon sending me a picture of their face which was taken close up there was no indication of any changes at all. Which I read online and also was told by people on here that changes such as facial hair wasn't noted to happen so quickly. They do however seem to have very bad anger issues as well as some other things that they have told me about and have let be known while we talked either online or on the phone. I just always have been told violence is never the answer and I firmly believe that and I always have. Granted no, I dont like to be called female or by my given name but I would never threaten to punch anyone over that or even more so threaten to punch a kid who is younger by almost 4 years, that's highly uncalled for even at the fact of threatening to cause anyone harm. Unfortunately I think I may start to have to distance myself from said person because the things they are starting to say dont add up not even just pertaining to the process of transitioning. The things they have been telling me lately would have no way that they could possibly be true with out him being hospitalized for some of the things he clams he is doing. I think I will have to distance myself as much as I never want to lose a friendship if it ever truly was but too many things are being said to me in all different aspects of things that would have absoutly no way of being physically possible or alot of the other things he is saying are not adding up to what he previously had said even days before. it hurts me to walk away even though he may be an online/over the phone friend but if he is going to use violence against people and try to start fights I just dont feel I want to be a part of these things even though we may be states apart. Im deeply saddened by the violence that is committed against transgender people in general but just because it happens which is wrong but that doesn't mean we should retaliate and do harm to others especially because we are upset about them using the wrong gender or name, especially as upon first coming out to people I know it takes time to get used to it, my mom who has excepted me since I came out to her still will accidently call me by my given name or say the wrong gender but I wouldnt ever think of punching for it! I do get embarrassed when it happens in public but people do slip up sometimes and no I may not like it or feel good about it when it happens but violence will solve nothing :/ with that said I do think its time for me to distance myself from him as far as having contact. I dont know that, that IS the right thing to do or if it seems unfair but I feel for myself this is a choice that I need to make.