Wigs

[Guest Eve Caillard]

Hi

As you (no doubt rolling eyes) know I arrived new to the world of cross-dressing in March this year so please bear with me - I'm still settling in.

Right when I started I got my self one (followed by more) wigs that I thoroughly believed helped me achieve the look and feel of being a lady. But recently I've not felt like using them. This is because I feel I am 'me' and I don't need a wig to be 'me' dressed en femme. I'm just a lady with rather short hair. I just feel adding a wig is a layer of falsity I don't need any more. I feel perfectly connected with my femme self as I am, dressed up in my favourite clothes. OK, so I add the breast forms and that does feel like an essential thing because as a man I so much want my own real breasts but I can't have them without hormone and other treatments which I choose not to have.

So am I missing something, or is this experienced by others in our community? Will I go back to wigs? I love being dressed and I miss it so much when in 'drab'. I underdress every day and I feel connected that way. But not wanting wigs seems a little odd now.

Please forgive my dumb questions but this is still a new world to me. Your opinions will be helpful!

Thanks and hugs!

Eve

[VickySGV]

There are NO RULES that say CD's must wear Wigs and TS's must use their own hair during RLT or later. I have a lot of wigs that I bought in my CD days too, and rarely wear them just now, but I do wear them with a feeling its what a woman can do if she likes to, and not the sense they make me a woman which is what I felt in my earliest days of dysphoria in the dark dark darkest closet land you can imagine. I remember the days of the 1960's and 70's with UNISEX hair cuts and wished I had the nerve to get one, 35 years later though I just get my hair cut in a female style. One of my dreams in the 70's had been to get a Unisex cut one week, and go back for a peroxide blond color job a couple weeks later and go full time. 38 years later I went redhead for daily iife with 16" long hair of my own.

Enjoy yourself, and if you pass as well as you like with your own short hair, you have not flunked the test of being CD at all.

[Guest *Charlotte P*]

I wonder about this too. I haven't jumped in and purchased a wig yet but your question makes total sense and the more experienced gals here I'm sure can provide more insight. It sounds like it may be a natural phase or transition that you go through at a certain point. Not having hair, I really want a wig as it will help with the illusion and the feeling. Not that it's not good now, I just feel it will be a lot more natural looking.

[Carolyn Marie]

Eve and Charlotte, I agree with Vicky that there are no rules in this. What's important is how you feel about yourself, and if you don't feel you need it, then its totally cool.

Now, if you are or plan to go outside in the world, you may want to reconsider and wear one. But as you noted, Eve, there are short haired cisgen women, so all it really takes is a little styling. It's entirely up to you.

I am follically challenged, unfortunately, so a wig is as much a part of me as my clothes or jewelry; more important, actually. I can go out without makeup or jewelry any time, but to be without my wig would be as traumatic as walking naked in public.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Eve Caillard]

Thanks for your lovely replies. You help me realise I need to go with how I feel. So if I feel no wig, then fine. I don't go out in public - yet - so I don't need to pass in public.

Looking on it further, I think it is me settling further into feeling good and consistent about my dressed side of my life. Since March, I now have enough belief and confidence in how I am to say: "I don't need that to be my new self". On the other hand, there have been times (and as recently as Monday) that I wanted to have the extra hair to boost my femme side. Oh, it is such a confusing thing for someone new to this!!! So thanks for your input. Interestingly, I don't use makeup. I feel very tempted to try, but it is low on my list of "things to do." My needs right now are simply to leave my male world and dress, and just "be" Eve. I love it.

Hey - you are a great community and I thank you for your help! I wish you all the best! You really have welcomed me here, and helped me so much in my new life. Thank you!

Hugs to you all,

Eve