Successful Trip Home

[Guest Huff]

So, I got back from my week-long trip to see my family and extended family a couple of days ago. I'm really exhausted from it and a little sick, but otherwise no worse for the wear. Mostly, they decided to just not engage me on the subject of my transition. It was kinda weird because they let me participate in the male sphere of the family, but they still called me "she". They mostly used my initials to talk to me rather than using my name or the dreaded birthname. I really didn't like being called by my initials... it just didn't suit me. I didn't want to start huge arguments about it, though, so I mostly just sucked it up and gritted my teeth a lot. I tried to focus on the fact that they were at least trying a little bit to accept my transition and to be grateful for that much. Hopefully, with each successive trip, they will become more comfortable with me as male. The next time I will see them is in July for my sister's wedding.

Mike

[Sally]

Congratulations Mike!

Not on the feeling sick part!

But on the baby steps with the family - they are coming along and they did avoid the birth name!

In JUly they may be around to using he and maybe, keep your fingers crossed your 'real name'!

[Guest Evan_J]

I have been waitin to hear how it went. I'm glad you're back and fine. And I gotta tell you , all things considered I think they did good. There was the "shock" aspect, cuz they hadn't seen you in 8months (wasn't it?) and that whole "Christmas sock thing" but however much stunnedness there was there was acceptatance that "you're a guy" cuz they put ya in the other group. Baby steps for the the family, they are a-workin'. They're tryin to catch up to you. Plus they're still "feeling" and finding their place in relationship. Good work Sounds like it went well.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Keep up your sense of humor on this sweetheart. LAUGH about it all - they didn't shun ya t'all, really - takes folks awhile to get the pronouns right sometimes. At least calling you by your initials is a step. As you get a bit older and seem mature to them, they will WANT your respect, and will probably do better by you.

'sides - their problem not yours - you DEFINATELY know who you are - right???

Congrats on a semi-sucessful trip - and how'd you get sick? Not contageous over the computer is it??? Gosh, wonder if I need to dip this keyboa..... zizzzzzzit

hee hee

[Guest Crossroads]

I'm so glad everything went well (sorta)! I've been wondering how it went. Not too talkative the past week or so, but I just wanted to say that.

[Guest Jackson]

Ditto to what everyone said.

I've got to hand it to you. My Christmas sounded very similar to yours, but I only had to suck it up for a day, not a whole week. I look at it this way. Every small step they do for you is probably a really big step for them.

[Guest Drew]

congrats Mike! them not calling you your birth name is a pretty big thing....most of my family still does.

i'm sorry you got sick though, sucks to be sick over the holidays...i can attest to that.

[Guest leo]

well done dude

you lasted a whole week and the results wasnt to bad!

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Glad to hear your visit went okay. Family is always difficult. My family is still being "weird". They don't know I've had top surgery yet (with the exception of my sister). Using the right pronouns is FAR beyond my family right now. I spend most of my time with family gritting my teeth and trying not to start fights.

You are right though. It think they'll get more comfortable with you as male with each successive visit.

About your sister's wedding, will that be your first major family event since you started transition? My sister's getting married in August. That'll be my first family event since I started transitioning. I'm a bit anxious.

[Guest Huff]

Hey guys.

thanks for the responses. I don't have internet access at home anymore, so I'm feeling a little cut off from the world.

Evan- I actually hadn't seen my family in 18 months, and then only for 4 days and I saw them for a week the year before that. I actually think that transitioning will make me fit better into my family in the long run, so that will be really interesting to see.

Ainsley- since my extended family is like 50 people and they all get together for Christmas, Christmas in and of itself is a "major family event" every year. My sister's wedding will be the first super formal family event where there are very clearly defined and inflexible gender roles that I will attend as a male, though, so that will be interesting. It helps that my physical transition has been really good - Pretty much as soon as I started T, there was absolutely no confusion as to the fact that I am male AND I don't have any visible scars from surgery, so I look very naturally male at that. I think physical part helps the family psychologically switch gears. I'm not super concerned about the wedding because I was pretty physically aggressive over the Christmas holiday and pretty much attached myself to my teenaged brothers, so I think that pretty much guarantees my slot in the male faction of the family for big events like that - even if they can't get pronouns straight.

Mike