Maybe it won't be so bad

[Guest Bellexia]

I mean my brother will be moving back in, with his fiance, and her kid, and another on the way. I am only afraid that we will get into arguments. He has gotten much better and refers to me as his sister but I fear it's only because he's away from me all the time. Now we will be in much closer living quarters and all... I love him to death I do. However his fiance constantly refers to me as "he" and my bio name. I am just not mentally ready for all this... I feel like I am going to end up in the local mental ward after all this... guh

[Guest Megan_Lynn]

Sounds like you should have a chat with his finance and let her know how much she is hurting your feelings calling you by your old name and male pronouns. Asking this will not hurt anyone and its at least good to try. Hope things work out for you.

[Guest Bellexia]

I guess I will have to try that again. Last time didn't go so well, she in her words stated "You are his brother, and this will confuse my daughter so don't" I mostly let it brush off because it was at his house where they lived so I don't want to cause drama there. Maybe she was right there. But now she is coming here and invading my space...

[Guest Paradox]

There is an old saying: "He, who has the gold, sets the rules. This means that, in your home, you are queen, and you get to set the rules and pecking order. Sometimes turnabout IS fair play.

Debra

[Guest Mia J]

Are you living in your own place or with your parents or another relative? If it is your own place then you can set the rules. If it is with your parents maybe you can ask them to help set the household rules for using the proper pronouns in the household.

Another thing to try is just don't respond to the wrong name or pronoun. That has worked for me a few times with people who constantly use the wrong pronoun/name.

Mia

[Ravin]

If everyone else is calling you"she" and she's the only resister, she's the one who is going to confuse her daughter. Also kids accept what's presented in a straightforward manner. That's just an excuse for her own hangups on the issue.

[Guest]

If her child is not a toddler, she can handle it all better than Mom. She has the right to raise her child any way she wants, but at your emotional expense in your home.... Hmmm

My son, the second grader, loves to try and educate my parents in their twilight years. He love to mess with Gramma's head. Ma, Pa, my kids and I were riding in the car today. I was driving and my mom next to me. I was complaining that my hair do was so flat today. Mom said why don't you just get it cut? I said I just did. Then the words, I mean a real haircut. Mother, I will never wear a man's hair style ever again. Silence. From the back seat, Gramma, why don't you get a boy haircut? Because I want to look like a girl. Well my Dad wants to look like a girl too. Why do you always want to make him a boy?

Deafening silence. Just try keeping a poker face for that one! LOL! He is my little champion. He doesn't like anyone hurting his DadMom's feelings. Now that is love!

I hope you have as much fun at your house. If you use your charm to disarm, Mom will see you are a fine lady and the little one will admire you without any explanations, I bet.

I wish you peace in camp. Jody

[Guest Bellexia]

Well I talked to them, he said he will curb her tongue on it. She apologized and all so it's ok for now. I am mostly just stressed about having more people around and a kid. Maybe I am just too twitchy. I don't know. Thanks all for the advice. I will keep it updated cause I will need a page to vent out JIC. >_< I really am not looking forward to moving around all over the place but they need it and I won't just say no. He is one of 2 members of family I have left who care and I will not lose that. Still, a screaming kid O.o Cutest thing ever til she starts screaming and crying. Maybe her aunt can get accustomed to her and help her. I already see she loves the stuffed animals I gave her

[Guest]

That's such good news. Yes, keep us posted on the saga! You will do well I'm sure. Hug. Jody

PS---Maybe a group hug with the stuffed animals? Giggle. JT