I feel self-medication is best for me

[Guest SaraRider]

I feel self-medication is best for me but what do all of you think? I feel my depression and anxiety is well managed from self-medication.

[Guest angels wings]

Hello Sarah

Self medicating is very dangerous many have run into some very serious problems . The best thing to do is to see your GP who can refer you to a gender therapist. The therapist assess you and if appropriate will refer you to an endocrinologist . It is important to take these steps and do it safely so you can get the best results . Blood test need to be done regularly to monitor different things . Self medicating although you may feel good now you have no idea what it is doing to your body that can be irreversible . Please take the steps to do this correctly so you can have the happy life you deserve

Angel ((((hugs)))))

[Michelle 2010]

Could you clarify what you are self medication with? Is it for Depression or is it for Dysphoria?

Ty,

Michelle

[Guest Sylan]

Hello Sarah

Self medicating is very dangerous many have run into some very serious problems . The best thing to do is to see your GP who can refer you to a gender therapist. The therapist assess you and if appropriate will refer you to an endocrinologist . It is important to take these steps and do it safely so you can get the best results . Blood test need to be done regularly to monitor different things . Self medicating although you may feel good now you have no idea what it is doing to your body that can be irreversible . Please take the steps to do this correctly so you can have the happy life you deserve

Angel ((((hugs)))))

With all that taken into consideration, though, I have a question of what everyone's opinions are myself. I've heard of people who were able to self-medicate HRT while still receiving regular tests from a doctor, and given some general guidance. Though it still goes against the proper system of treatment, does anyone think this has the potential to be a good option when proper treatment isn't available?

-Lexie

[MaryEllen]

Self medication is never a good option even though a doctor is aware of it. Your doctor needs to keep a close watch through blood and other tests to make sure medications are not exceeding safe levels. He can't do this from the outside looking in. There's too much that can go wrong.

MaryEllen

[Guest KimberlyF]

I feel self-medication is best for me but what do all of you think? I feel my depression and anxiety is well managed from self-medication.

I've held a belief for a while.

HRT under a doctors care > self-medicating > suicide

If you want to try to do what is best for yourself, you take an honest look and see where you stand. If you are at a critical point in your life today where you are either going to kill yourself or self-medicate, statistically you have better odds with the self-medication. But if you are not at that point, or you have already started self-medicating, the goal should be to get under a doctors care ASAP. Self-medication should never be a calm decision like buying a car.

And if anyone is self-med'ing, nobody here can stop you and I know personally I don't feel any less towards you. But please please if at all possible get a doctor to check your blood.

[Guest spunky monkey]

hello,

when i started out i was self medicating and its a wonder i didnt die from the tablets, but as a side effect of the estrogen i got blood clots in my lower left leg...if you self medicate you will self destruct...you pay doctors good money too take care of you..listen and heed there advice.

love rachelle

[Charlize]

I really not sure what you are medicating for. It sounds like you are depressed. I used to drink for that. It didn't work it only got worse. I can't recommend that. If its HRT please don't do that. Blood clots and death, at least that would have been the case for me. The MD's are watching my blood with regular tests. I might still live to see my girls fully grown, but only because i got help.

Hugs,

Charlie

[JJ]

There is just so much that can go wrong self medicating. For instance getting the balance right for your body chemistry. It varies widely from person to person and getting it even slightly wrong can mean no progress up to deadly consequences. What works for one person can kill another. And things can go wrong quickly as well.

Then if you are self medicating you are buying the hormones etc off the black market. And there is no safe reliable source of hormones on the black market. Some are what they seem for awhile and then switch on you which can wreak havoc with your system and others vary from pill to pill or shot to shot in strength or are cut with dangerous or impure products. Manufacturing is also often not regulated and if you are using name brands they may well be counterfeit. I mean what do they have to lose by cheating you or if they harm you? You can't hold them accountable. If the regulated companies through legal sources can have the conditions uncovered here sometimes can you imagine what they are like in 3rd world countries where no one is checking?

If you have a Dr willing to do the testing then why won't they also prescribe? The liability is similar and they must be aware already if they are seeing the test results.

The further I went in transition the better I understood the traditional gender therapy route but there are legal and safe alternatives now in most places because of the changes in the SOC. The stress of self medicating really doesn't help depression that much either and if you end up with fluctuating hormone levels it greatly increases it. In my opinion getting legal is the only workable route for treating depression by getting on HRT

Johnny

[Guest lostflower]

I'm going to get in such trouble for saying this but here goes

Gender Therapy for most of you has moved to a point where the therapists work from a position of enabling you to succeed after confirming that you are indeed suffering from Gender Dysphoria, right?

But many GT's still think the gatekeeper method is suitable, mine kept me going insane for two years saying I wasn't doing enough to qualify unless I went full time for three months with no HRT support no hair removal and I was still making preparations to transition it took me being at the point of walking out and buying hormones off the net (from a reputable disreputable net pharmacy) to get them to break and do things my way.....which since a revision in treatment guidelines is now the method they officially use for everyone weird coincidence huh

In conclusion I was more unstable and suicidal after meeting my GT than I was before I asked my doctor to refer me to one.

If Sara is determined to go it alone it would be better for us to help her find a grey market supplier that is somewhat reliable (I'll bet I'm not the only one here who knows a few safe-ish suppliers) and make sure she get her GP to check her constantly if we can't stop her we should at least encourage her to do it as safely as possible.

Hannah

[KathrynJulia]

I'm sorry Hannah

But I must respectfully disagree. I work in a School of Medine at a major University where our department accepts 20 new resident doctors every year. All of our doctors have access to computerized pharmaceutical programs. Patient medications are now screened through a computer program that scans for dangerous combinations of prescribed medications, over the counter meds, and herbals for dangerous combinations. We put this computer program on their laptop computers, smart phones, or we issue iPods to all of our physicians and nurse practitioners.

Mixing meds with unknown health conditions is Russian Roulette with your life. There is a reason why a responsbile doctors order a chem panel, liver panel, and hormone levels of a patient before prescribing HRT. They take into acount your weight, blood pressure, liver enzymes, heart andany kidney issues you may have.

I'm a juvenile diabetic. I carry a full page that lists every medication that I take. I list Vitamin E, Complete vitamin B, vitamin D-3, Fish Oil tablets on it as well. I list that I take ibuprohen for when I have pain. I carry that in my wallet and every doctors appointment I go to, I take an updated list and hand it to the nurse for my medical chart so that my doctor knows what running around inside me. I also have run all my meds through this program just to double check.

I do so because I have examined damaged organs from people acting as their own doctor and pharmacist. I worked in Pathology for almost 18 years as a Pathologist Assistant and Histologist, so I know that you can damage your body or lose your life. That is why we will not condone self medicating on Laura's. We have too much experience with the harm it causes. So please think about it Hannah. We just want to help people get through life when you are suffering.

So many of us have suffered to. We know we can get through it with a little help. We're here to offer that help.

Take care. Kathryn

[Guest SaraRider]

I'm just drinking and smoking. I don't have the money for a doctor or any of that. I know my liver and lungs will pay for it but I figure I'd rather happy then battling depression or anxiety. I know that isn't accepted socially but I feel it works for me. I open to suggestions though.

[Guest Robin Winter]

Alcohol is a depressant. You're not helping yourself at all by drinking. I can't tell you what to do, but I'd like to at least suggest that you check online for help with healthy coping techniques. A quick google search will provide lots of information and good ideas. If you're willing to really make the effort, these healthier coping strategies really do work.

These are just a few small examples

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/emotional_health/mental_health/coping_skills.shtml

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/DS00175/DSECTION=coping-and-support

[JJ]

Actually smoking and drinking each are probably costing what therapy would. Many therapists charge a sliding fee and I know some clinics offer therapy that is extremely affordable. Also online therapists-and there is a list here on site if you check the resources on the main page-can run as little as $100 a month. Most people I know who smoke and drink spend more than that.

Smoking or drinking or any other the other ways of numbing don't solve any problems. Just puts a lid on them temporarily so the pressure builds while eventually causing more problems as well. Health problems, potential alcoholism and social problems. I had a parent who was an alcoholic, a spouse who was one and eventually became a homeless derelict because of it before dying alone and unmourned in a cheap motel room and now am dealing with a SIL fighting it who lives in my home. Nothing is worth the risk of what alcohol can do to your life and the lives of those around you. It stops working as an escape and becomes a bigger monster than anything you were using it to escape from in my observation.

What you do with your life is really up to you. You can decide to make it better and how you want or need it to be and then go after it or you can try to numb the pain and at best make no progress or at worst lose your life whether to actual death or a living hell.

Sure dealing with this is hard. And scary. But it also has the most amazing highs and rewards. And is not nearly as hard as trying to live with or deny it.

Johnny

[Guest Gregg Jameson]

HI Sara!

Lots of great suggestions, advice and resources listed above!

I can feel the love others here are feeling toward you as they share with you!

I can also feel your love!

Some states have some insurance programs for those in need.

There are some federally funded health care centers around the U.S., which provide many types of services and also medications and a low or no cost, also dependent upon a sliding scale fee. I understand many of these places provide medical care, immunizations, labwork, dental work, some types of therapy, medication consults for mental health issues, some of these clinics also offer gender therapy and homone therapy, as well. I have been amazed by what I have heard about these clinics across the U.S. In my geographical location, this federal health center is super nice, very modern, huge, has some top-notch physicians, some great therapists, an in-house phamacy, a dental clinic, with student dentists and also with several fully licensed dentists teaching the students, etc, etc.! Wow!

You may want to see if one of these clinics is near you. You can check here, if interested: http://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/Search_HCC.aspx

There was a young lady visiting this site much earlier this year. She had to leave her home rather rapidly, for her own safety and was under treatment for depression. She had ended up staying with a friend a few states away from her home and needed more of her medication. She had checked this link and had found an immediate appt in order to get her meds re-prescribed and filled the prescription right there, as well. She had written back to me and told me this had costed her less than a total of $20.00. She had plans of moving on to yet another state and this health center had already helped her to set up her next appt at one of the centers nearby her next location! Wow! She was impressed, as was I! So give it a try, if you wish! I can only hope there is a center near you!

Also, any teachng hospitals near you? They often hold clinics for free care, or low cost care. Any public hospital, which also receives federal funding offers some financial aid to their clients in need. This is also an option. You may, in this case, call the patient financial office at the nearest public hospital and see what they have to offer?

Many qualify for Medicaid and don't realize they do qualify. If your income is limited and you would like to see if you qualify, please look this up in your local directory and/or check for offices/numbers in your area by doing an online search?

There are other options, I am sure. These are just a few I can think of off the top of my head tonight.

As far as lifestyle is concerned, many people find depression lets up some with some changes in lifestyle. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, regular sleep schedules, etc. You know all of this, I am sure. I also know of many struggling with depression whom do well with "juicing." You might want to look into that online. There are many resources available.

Also, many people with depression also experience an additional seasonal component. KathrynJulia has written a recent post on the use of lights for lifting this type of a seasonal exacerbation. I have seen many people, with varying types of depression get some relief from the use of broad spectrum lights in this same way. It certainly helps with the quality of sleep and tends to give people a bit more energy during the daytime.

I know you understand your drinking likely adds to your depression?

Alcohol also interferes with the quality of sleep.

I hope you can kick it for this reason. I have lost many loved ones to alcoholism, to related tragedies.

You have a sweet spirit about you. I hate to see you caught up in dirinking if you can manage to do otherwise.

Either way you decide to handle yourself and any of your issues, please know we all have issues and we all have to find our own way! We are here and care about you, no matter your approach to finding a solution for yourself!

I hope you will let us know how you are doing?

Warmly,

Brad

[Guest Minerva]

While I do recognize the risks of self medication, I do have a few remarks.

Firstly, people may claim that self medication is very dangerous, I have never seen anyone post the statistics about it. Especially here people claim self medication is likely to be fatal yet in my circles I haven't yet heard a single confirmed hospital admission due self medication of cross sex hormones.

Secondly, Everyone can get bloodtests done at a gp, you only have to go to yours, explain the situation and request them. With these bloodtests you take away a lot of the risks of self medication making it as safe as if you would be under supervision of the genderclinic.

To take myself as example, I self medicated for a while in anticipation of the 'green light' from the genderclinic. Thanks to the bloodtests I knew which dosages worked on me, especially for anti-androgens. When I finally got my referral to the endo he doubled my anti androgen dosage while my testosterone level was already unmeasurable. When I asked why he responded: "This is the way we do things here, we always start with this dosage". I trusted him and used the doubled dosage for a month in which I was very tired and lustless untill I cut back again on my own accord.

Thirdly, waiting for a referral to an endo also has risks. In my country it currently takes -at least- 2 years from your first appointment with the genderclinic till your first prescription. Especially when you are young, you can see testosterone bring havoc to your body during those years: causing you to develop and age as a male, causing your hairline to recede, causing body hair, facial hair. I know unfortunate girls who went nearly bald during that period.

This is damage you can never completely recover.

Lastly, large online pharmacy that exist for multiple years are quite trustworthy. If they would sell black market junk they would dig their own grave because people wouldn't return and buy more. They can only exist by providing quality merchandise: it is not a street junkie you're buying from.

Concluding I have to agree that self medicating is very dangerous if you have no means of checking your blood. But if you have and if you listen to advise doctors give you, it is as safe as an official prescription.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

I'm just drinking and smoking. I don't have the money for a doctor or any of that. I know my liver and lungs will pay for it but I figure I'd rather happy then battling depression or anxiety. I know that isn't accepted socially but I feel it works for me. I open to suggestions though.

Dear child,

You know not what you are saying. Drinking and smoking....happy rather than battling depression? Dear you are battling depression that is why you are drinking and smoking hon. You are self-medicating that way too.

Let me share with you my own story... like you, I thought I could self medicate with hormones. I did that for years. I did not consult a doctor because of my ignorance and arrogance. Because I mixed E with all of my other misguided deeds I now have a heart problem.

At your age you think you are invincible, I used to think that too.

Sadly, we are all mortal... that means you.

Additionally, I would like to add that has anyone considered the psychological affects of actually bodily transitioning? As your fat distribution changes, as your breasts grow, as you physically show more feminine features, have you considered what real impact that will have on your lives? This is precisely what gender therapists are for to help you through all of the psychological changes brought about by internal changes as well as outward changes. None of this is trivial and nor should it be trivialized.

Taking hormones to alleviate depression.... really? HRT was never designed to be a depression treatment. HRT is designed for a more serious condition... GID.

Brenda

[Guest Minerva]

Hi Minerva,

Please re-read the post in which you responded, especially page 1: http://www.lauras-pl...showtopic=29931. Two people in that thread came away with severe reactions to their self-medication. My friend, Mackenzie, was one of them. She's no longer alive - while it's unlikely that her liver cancer was directly due to DIY hormones, they couldn't have helped.

I sympathize for your loss.

The other person clearly wrote that she wasn't under medical supervision. I stated in my previous post that this is very important.

[Kyla666]

I agree 100% with Minerva.

[Guest (Lightsider)]

I did not want to enter this fray but I can not stay silent. I will say unequivocally that DIY is dangerous. And here is why. Most DIY is purchased online and those sources are questionable and dangerous. You are taking a risk if you even got the right dosage and medication. That is a HUGE risk and you are placing your trust in some guy thousands of miles away who may be drunk off his butt while filling your prescript.

http://abcnews.go.co...95#.UNAWFIOuk7U

http://www.fda.gov/f...s/ucm048396.htm

If you want to take a risk with your life, go right ahead but don't post that this is in any way safe and make justifications for it...because it is not.. There is nothing to debate here. It is simply dangerous.

[Guest SaraRider]

I realize drinking and smoking is a dangerous way of self medicating and it is killing me slowly but I feel I would rather do something that will make me happy now instead of numb all the time. I feel happy that at least I feel the pain. I'm not in danger of suicide even though when I was a teenager I was and I even though I probably am addicted I feel I am not especially because it has been a month since I've done both but this is only because I simply don't have the money but I can't say without it I feel like I have a handle with my depression and anxiety. But when I do have the money for a bag and a case of beer I feel like I do have a handle on them. Even if I have drank or smoked anything just having them there for when I want them makes everything so much more easy to deal with. I know its not socially right but I just sit at home and don't hurt anyone but my liver and lungs and I'm not worried about those simply because I plan on passing while I'm active like kayaking or skiing. I do although really do want to find a councilor I can really open up to. I remember when I was seeing one as a teenager and it really really helped but that is why I joined here. To join the chat so I could talk to someone in real time but I can't even do that since my computer can not run java 7.

[Guest]

My, I get to look at me again in my very young mirror. Sara, thanks for the peek into my past. You have a good start.

I was the complete party animal! I never planned to live past 33, that is what Jesus got on earth. I was determined to raise hell until then and go out in a fiery blaze of glory! I had a handle on all that I drank, smoked, toked, popped, snorted and shot up! I nearly ODed twice dying painfully all alone, unknow to all, because I refused to get help. Somehow God spared me the end I so very much desired. Wishing I could just slip away. Crashing cars, flipping bikes all at full throttle couldn't kill me, I was invincable! I didn't feel lucky, I felt like I sold my soul. Cheap!

I can tell you straight up, that I didn't want to hear jack crap from anyone that wanted to help me. Drugs and alcohol started out as so much fun, a release from all cares and worries. What the heck did they know, they didn't have to live inside of me. Soon it turned on me, turning me into a liar, cheat and thief. I didn't have a monkey on my back, I had a gorilla! Biting into me with a vengence that turned me into the ghost of the person I once was. I hated everything and everybody, most of all ME! That will never happen to you I'm sure. I'm not talking about you. I'm sharing about me...

After a series of misfortunes, Alcoholics Anonymus found me. I found a group of healthy people that are having so much fun living life on life's terms. We are members all over the world. They are just as much my support group as all the people here. I soon got my life back, new and better. It has exeeded my wildest expectations. My addiction? Sure, once you get it it never goes away. The circus is still in my life, but the gorilla has been caged and shipped out of town. Just a peek into my crystal ball. Maybe you will want to turn the corner before you follow my path. Good luck on your journey. Hug. JodyAnn

[MaryEllen]

We've let this thread run as long as it has in hopes that it would be a teachable moment as to the dangers of selfmedicating. To let it run further would be counter productive to our policy of discouraging self medicating.

[MaryEllen]

SaraRider, If you wish to repost your topic on self medication, feel free to do so. This time, please be more specific as to what you are asking.