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So How'd You Choose Your Name (ftm Version)?


Guest Linus Thomas

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Well I finally decided on a name. I kinda just asked my friends which they perferred. And it was the one I actually wanted deep down. The final name is Kyler Alyxandir. Like I was going by Kurt but for me it's way too masculine. Kyler has some masculinity and a bit of femininity. Which is kinda how I am. And tomorrow I am going to my therapist to get my letter for my school saying I have gender dysphoria and should be called by with male pronouns, and should use my chosen name. And that I should also be allowed to use the unisex bathroom. Plus it's my senior year, and I can finally be happy in my own skin at school. Yay! Anyways that's all I have for now.

Wootness!

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Guest JordanRaeburn

Georgia --> Jordan (similar and it's cool that it's unisex)

And Raethburn means "dweller by the stream where does drink". I chose it because my parents nickname for me growing up was doedy.

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Guest ShortyT

I wanted to keep my initials, and browsed babyname sites starting from that. Then I went with something common for men in my age group, and that had a nice fit with the rest of my name.

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  • 2 months later...
Guest KristinOrKris

I'm actually just now adopting my new name, which is the traditional FTM Kris. I'm not sure I'll keep it though. My birthname is Kristin, and I don't want to stray to far from it...maybe Craig or Christian.

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Guest wolfySH

I'm constantly trying to find names that go well with "Sirius". (and don't say 'Black!' lol)

I've been calling myself that since I was about five, and have been in constant agony since HP came out a few years later.

I think part of it cemented the name though-- it's actually a line from the first book. About the motorbike Hagrid was riding--

"Young Sirius Black lent it to me". And I was like ":D! He has the same name as me! *feels validated*"

It's also important because it sort of traces back my initial interest in astronomy, but more importantly my extensive study of Latin.

It's not a common name, or a name of any famous person, but it has that classics vibe to it.

It was the first time I actually formally started using this name-- when I started Latin and had to choose a name for myself.

Everyone was so confused

"Isn't that a boy's name"?

My professor awkwardly tried to back me up so nobody would make fun of me.

She said "Well-- Sirius is the name of a star." and then something about how everyone should feel enlightened being in my presence. or something.

But it was middle school, so they kind of bought it.

Heh.

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  • Forum Moderator

I have suspicions about why I started thinking of myself as John or Johnny as a small (think 4 or 5) child but can't know for sure or remember now what made me feel that was my name.

But Johnny I have always been, even though no one but me knew that for nearly 60 years. The James that is my middle name (hence JJ) I also have no idea about except that it also goes back to childhood although somewhat later I think.

Johnny

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Guest Devlin

When I changed my name, I kept the Surname since I am huge on my family and our heritage. My first name was missing 1 letter from being the Latin male version, so I went with that so I could just shrug and say, guess somebody left a letter off my name if I got a strange look or questioned. My middle name, which I use most of the time is a family name. It was a relative that left Britain and brought the family here to the US. Plus, I love the name.

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Guest Doodlen

I still don't have a name yet. Once I get my hair cut I'll need one, that's when I'm gonna start trying to pass.

I was leanig towards Adam for awhile but I have a cousin named Adam so I dunno. I might keep it as a middle name. I like names that start with A, but I know too many Andrews and Alexs. :P I really like Aiden, and I was considering that for awhile.

I sorta wanted to keep my initials though, which would

be an E. I LOVE the name Elton, and I'm a huge fan of Elton John.

Elton Aiden H***** or

Elton Adam H*****

If my last name didn't start with an H I'd choose Hunter, I love that name. But it just sounds wrong. Oh well, if my family disowns me and I have to change my last name when I'll make my

first name Hunter :P

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Guest Kai Reddtail

I haven't picked one yet. I have been flip-flopping about it for AGES now.

Kai was a nickname I got from an internet friend (shortened username at the time) and so most people on the internet call me that. So far it's probably one of the biggest contenders.

Lee is one I'd consider using if I could get it to catch on. My real name is Carley, so this way I could have people asking for "Lee" at my house and just say it's a nickname. That way it would raise no suspicion with my family. Also, it can be a girls name so in event that I don't pass in public one day, I figure it could avoid some dangerous situations because they wouldn't think I'm TRYING to pass.

Julian is one I was considering just because I liked it, but it's starting to fall out of favor.

Another is Adrian. I kind of like names that are androgynous-but-more-often-male. This one was taken from a character named Adrian Seidelman. They were sort of a vigilante superhero not-really-human woman at night but a male schoolteacher by day. I kind of like how he looks in schoolteacher mode. Julian is kinda from it too. (Anyone who can name it gets a cookie. No Google, thats no fair. lol.) These are mostly just because I like them.

Charlie is the male version of my birth name, and some days I really like it but I dunno. You would not BELIEVE how many Charlies there are around here. I know thats not a good reason, but it does count against it at least a little. I remember one school year where there was someone else with the same name as me, and I was constantly looking up and they'd be like "Other Carley!" Eventually I just started ignoring my name altogether, but then people got ticked off because they were actually talking to me. It was seriously irritating. Althought shortening it to Chazz could be nice.

I wish my parents had picked out an "if it's a boy" name for me. I'd probably use it. I'd also be happy to give them a chance to name me again, if I ever come out.

I just keep hoping I'll think of one and I'll be like "Thats the one!" but maybe it doesn't work like that.

Even if I DO pick a name, how did you all get people to start calling you a different name? Just ASK them to? Cause the idea of that seems kind of weird to me. I made a halfhearted bid to get people to call me Kai offline, but it hasn't happened. -sigh-

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Michael Heather

It started out several years ago, when my mum told me she'd wanted to call me Lucia if I was born on the 13th of December (missed it by one day, poor mum) to which dad gave the ultimatum that if it was a boy he'd be named Lucifer. Mum didn't like that at all.

After that, Lucia stuck with me and I made it part of my internet usernames. I even created a male alter ego called Lucien since it sounded so similar. So when I realised I was trans, it wasn't too hard to come up with that name. ;)

My family doesn't like Lucien (they think it's too similar to Lucifer, and maybe it is but I don't care), so I gave them the alternative Mikael, which they've been calling me for a while now. I plan to keep it as one of my middle names, that way it'll still be a part of my name. I'll use Lucien as my first name though, and I've been introducing myself as Lucien for about a month.

I somehow wanted to keep my original name as well, as it runs in the family and I have two middle names as it is. Devils and angels, what will the next one be? Eli, the name of a prophet. It was my mother's suggestion really, since she was trying to find a name that still sounded similar to my given one, and I happen to like it.

So it's Mikael Lucien Eli. Whether I'll keep my last name or not is up for grabs. I like it quite a lot and it sounds masculine (it can be pronounced Colin, so even English-speakers can use it), but people tend to pronounce and spell it wrong. Then I have my grandmother's maiden name, which is unique to my family and already used by both my mother and my aunt. That, however, is not translatable, and if I'm going to work abroad (which I plan on doing) it's not very good.

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Guest Avery F

Hey, Lucien is an awesome name! It's cool, too, that you have so many references in your choice of names.

A for me... I wanted to keep my initials (A. S. F.) because I'd been signing things with them for years. I'm keeping the last name, because it's unique (REALLY unique; as far as I am aware, only my immediate family has it, out of everyone in the world) and I like it. Avery I picked because it's androgynous, and I have some relatives I do not plan on coming out to, but I would like to tell them about the name change at least. Also, I've always liked the name Avery since I first heard of it in the Harry Potter books, and besides, it means 'elven ruler' - which makes the D&D fanboy in me happy :) Sherburn, my middle name, I picked because it sounds neat, and I figured I could get away with an odd middle name, because I'll never really use it anyway. In addition, Sherburn means 'from the clear brook'; since I spent most of my formative years exploring the woodlands near my house, in which there were a number of clear brooks, I think it's a nice reference to my history - which kind of makes up for dropping my female middle name, Sarah, which I was originally given in honour of a deceased relative.

Avery Sherburn Insert-Last-Name-Here

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Guest Michael Heather

Hey, Lucien is an awesome name! It's cool, too, that you have so many references in your choice of names.

Yeah, I've had time thinking about it, as I tend to come up with different scenarios in my head, and I was male in most of them even before I realised I was trans.

And Avery is a cool name, I think I'd have considered it as a middle name had I been living in an English-speaking country. :P

I'd like to change my screen name here to Lucien really, but I don't know how to do that. I wrote myself as Michael before I'd figured everything out, and it doesn't really fit me.

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Guest Jay09

I actually chose my name Jay due to the fact that it has long since been a nickname from my family and friends, because it is quite close to my birth name(and the whole transitioning thing shocked my mom enough, so i didnt want to completely take everything from her). Although i still do not have a middle name, because i need to attempt to figure it out, i just cant figure out one that goes with Jay. I have always been more masculine and there for always had my friends and family call me Jay rather than by my birth name. It is not a very interesting story, but it is how my name came to be. :)

It really has been very interesting to see how others came to find and decide on their names!

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Guest ranse

I've been running through male names that start with G, since it's my first initial and have settled on Garrett. It's not a run-of-the-mill name where I'm from, but it's not completely strange, either. It has the same amount of syllables as my female name, so it sounds right to my ear. I will probably swap my middle name for my father's middle name since my parents simply feminized his when I was born. Plus that's a little tribute to him for raising me nearly solo for a long time. Whether he wants another son or not, he's got one who is proud of his father's hard work over the years.

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Guest Darrin

I'm not sure if I posted the story about my name or not...

I have always loved the name Darrin. I first heard it on Bewitched. I guess it's usually spelled Darren, but the character in Bewitched is spelled Darrin. I liked the different spelling and decided to use it.

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Guest GettingThere

I actually just decided on my name a few days ago. Tristan Joshua Ian. I've known that I wanted to change my name since I was a very young child and I've been obsessing over it for the past 2-3 years. Now it seems kind of silly... Here's how I FINALLY found my name:

Ian: It's an honoring name. I wwas brought up Catholic and though I no longer practice, I still feel a... connection to St. Joan of Arc. Joan (or rathere, Jeanne) is the feminine version of John. Ian is the Scottish variant of John hence, Ian.

Tristan: Another honoring namem this time of a character who brought light to me when I was totally engulfed in darkness.

Joshua: Just me. Nothing particularly special, just me.

Currently, I'm going by Tristan in my classes because I still read (mostly) as female and it's easier to go by Tristan. I may stay with it or I may go by Joshua later. But the nickname will remain the same, TJ.

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Guest Drewbie

The way I picked my name was kind of weird. Before I even knew I was trans, I would make fake accounts on the internet as a guy. Andrew was the name I would always use in these accounts. I never really even liked the name Andrew, but it was a name I associated with manliness. Everyone wanted me to go by Larry, which is a shortened/male version of my birth name, and quite a few people already called me that. I really hated the name Larry so I decided to pick Andrew, and then some people just staring to call me Drew and that just stuck. Now, there are so many names I wish I picked instead but I can't imagine being called anything other than Drew.

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Guest Jay09

Well as an update i managed to get a middle name finally picked out. I went with Aiden(with the help of my girlfriend). We had long ago decided that our son's name is going to be Jayden, so i think it is pretty sweet that my full name resembles my future sons name as well. So as decided within my family, and obviously myself my full name is now Jay Aiden C*****. :)

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Guest FebruaryFalls

I haven't chosen a definite one yet, but I'm probably going to go with what I would have been called if I had been born biologically male, Jesse James. Helps that it's a pretty bad*** name too :P

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Guest Shayden

Most of the time, people called me Shay as a nickname to my birth name. Then I believe one day, I was making fun of all the names ending with 'den' (Brayden, Hayden, Cayden, ext..) Then I just stumbled onto Shayden and loved it.

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Guest Ebany

How I picked my name... actually, it kinda picked me. My father named me and I have ALWAYS resented the name he picked for me. I hated my name and rarely answered to it even before I had ever heard the word 'trans' (I find that I was a very sheltered child) I have a sister that is not quiet 2 years older than me. And at two, she just couldn't say 'Amanda' and so she called me 'Nan' The nickname disappeared when I started school and I was probably the only kid in school that didn't have a nickname. When my first niece was starting to talk the nickname my sister had givin me came back. that poor child just couldn't wrap her tongue around 'Aunt Amanda' and her mother insisted she be polite and keep the 'aunt'. so i took pity on her and told her to call me 'aunt nan'. Soon all of my family was calling me Nan again.

When I started getting on the internet and making profiles, I found I was much more comfortable with being seen as male. So I changed the 'n' to a 'd' and became 'Dan' online and used it as my pen name as well. I am still undecided on wether to publish anything I've written, but if i do, I won't want any of my family knowing it's me. A couple years ago I accepted what I am and realized I needed a more fitting name. I struggled to find one I liked. My first instinct was of course to go with the name I would have been given if I was a boy.... But my father is the III and my little brother is the IV so that's not an option (and I don't really want to be named after a man that walked out on me when I was 3) My husband couldn't understand why I didn't just stick with Dan, the name I was using online. And so I explained that I have an uncle named Dan; I have a male cousin named Dan; I have a female cousin named Danelle; and my little brother's best friend (who is ALWAYS at my mom's house) is named Dan. I was already sick of sharing my name with half the state and wanted one that was my own.

But I answer to Dan; and no other name seamed to fit. And now I couldn't imagine having a different name. So I am Danial (Yes, I know that it is normally spelled 'Daniel' but I figure that I don't spell anything else right so why should I spell my name right :P ) I had my husband pick a middle name to go with it and he chose Patrick. So my name is: Danial Patrick ***** I like my nickname and spell it with an 'i' even though people tend to think it a 'female' name spelled that way. But what can I say, it's my name and I'm not changing it because someone else doesn't think it's manly enough... I'm not very macho and can't see me EVER being very macho.

~Dani

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Guest Nathaniel_65

I always liked the name Nate, but not Nathan. I am a HUGE fan of the HBO series Six Feet Under. The father and son were Nathaniel, and I fell in love with the name. My birth name is Alicia, and you can not get more feminine than that, and I wanted far away from it. Not sure of a middle name yet, and my last name was changed legally to my wife's name over ten years ago. Although my "father" and his wife still mail me as the family name. Why on earth would I want a last name that brought me nothing but pain?

-N.

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Guest James Noonan

Jay/James. James is a family name that the first boy has been named for generations. when my mum was pregnant, she thought i was a boy so they were gonna name me james but i came out physically female. Jay is a short form because my Great Grandad was James Senior, my Grandad was James, my Dad was Jim and I'm Jay.

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Guest Sawyer

Basically, I've always loved androgynous names. Though I always pictured myself as a man, I never really thought I should have a particularly masculine first name. While Sawyer typically is a man's name, the only person I've ever met with the name was a woman. As for how I picked the name itself, I scanned baby name lists, trying out the names. When I got to Sawyer, it just felt right. I liked how it sounded and I could picture myself being addressed as such. As for my middle name, that's still up in the air, but I'm considering Alistair, which is actually kind of funny because it was originally brought up as a joke by my brother (he was suggesting a list of male characters from video games I could name myself after, and Alistair from Dragon Age was one of them).

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Connor_CAG

I have always loved the name Connor. I'm part Irish. And it means wise dog-lover. All in all, fits me to a "T" (no pun intended)!

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      Welcome Cynthia
    • Sally Stone
      Post 11 “The Move West”    I mentioned in previous posts how many of the places I lived impacted my comfort level, and from my perspective, living in New Jersey was the perfect location for a trans woman.  However, other factors, such as property taxes and living costs, meant my wife and I couldn’t comfortable retire there.  Additionally, my wife wanted to live closer to our kids, and I couldn’t deny her that desire, especially since she dutifully followed me around the globe during my military and flying career.  Because the boys both lived on the “left” coast, we were going to retire somewhere in the western half of the United States.    Searching for places to retire, we wanted a locale that was easy on taxes and benefitted retirees.  However, I was ever vigilant for a place that was going to be trans friendly.  We actually passed on many places because, based on the research I did, they were not considered good locales for alternative lifestyles.  The internet has its issues, but there are numerous LGBTQ resources that helped us make an informed decision.  Despite the research we did, you really can’t know if you are going to be comfortable somewhere until you’ve actually lived there.   The plan was to select a location, and move when I retired.  However, the demand for real estate in New Jersey put our house in high-demand, and our real estate agent suggested we sell as soon as possible to take advantage of the market.  We put the house up for sale and it sold in under 15-days.  Suddenly, we had to find a new place to live, so instead of waiting until I stopped working, we relocated immediately.    Nevada had always come up as a great retirement location.  There was no state tax, and the cost of living was much lower than any of the other places we had on our list.  Surprisingly, many of the larger Nevada municipalities scored high as LGBTQ locations.  Las Vegas got the best LGBTQ ratings but we didn’t want to live in such a large city.  However, both Carson City and Reno looked like acceptable alternatives.  We chose the Reno area, although the house we bought is about 50-mile away from the city.   In the back of my mind, I kept wondering if the research I had done about Reno being LGBTQ friendly was accurate.  Clearly, I had assumed some risk here, since the research results didn’t specifically address the transgender community.  Adding to my anxiety, I couldn’t find any local trans groups, and the Reno LGBTQ community center’s transgender page hadn’t been refreshed in several years.  The only way for me to know for sure what things would be like for me, was to put myself out there.    Sally’s first day in Reno would be a June Saturday morning.  The plan was to do some shopping and find a place to eat lunch.  I started my day by stopping at Starbucks for coffee.  It was a pleasant surprise to greeted so openly by the staff, and this seemed a first positive sign.  Then it was off to the mall.  I shopped at a few of the department stores, and strolled through the mall proper.  It was a busy Saturday, with lots of people out and about, but I never noticed an odd or disparaging look, nor did I encounter a personal interaction that wasn’t anything but pleasant and cordial.  After the mall, I stopped at PF Chang’s for lunch.  Since I was alone, I asked the hostess if I could get food at the bar.  The young lady tending the bar that day was so sweet, and we immediately became friends.  The next thing I knew, I was being introduced to other servers, and became the center of their attention.  They raved about my outfit and the boots I was wearing.  Talk about feeling special.    So, my first day as Sally was awesome, and since that first outing, I have never had an uncomfortable moment in Reno.  I have also noticed several trans women in my travels, so obviously there is a population here.  It kind of surprises me there isn’t an active social group, but then maybe the women I’ve encountered have settled into society here, and don’t need it.  I don’t actually need a trans specific social group either.  My wife is my BFF, and she and I get out together often enough that I don’t feel lonely or alone.   I bet there are other girls out there; however, who are still in the closet, or perhaps don’t know how much fun Reno is.  For those girls, I have considered starting a social group.  In fact, I have already coordinated a “girl’s” weekend for this coming September.  The plan is to spend the weekend enjoying all Reno has to offer, but centered around a Saturday evening concert.  It should be lots of fun, and I’m looking forward to it.  The challenge is getting the word out.  I probably need to coordinate with the local LGBTQ center to help spread the word.   Turns out Reno is a fun place to live even though I am trans.  The people Sally has met have all been very friendly, but I can’t imagine it being any other way, since Sally is also friendly, and based on my interaction with others, very likeable as well.  I think I’m living proof that when you are open, friendly, have a positive attitude, and smile a lot, people respond in kind, even when they might know, or have a hint you weren’t born the gender you are presenting.    One could assume that my positive social experiences have just been dumb luck, but when I consider how long I have been out as Sally, it can’t just be luck.  I know in my heart, that I am doing something right, that my female personality resonates in a way that ensures I am accepted as the woman I am trying to be.   Hugs,   Sally
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