How Important Is Srs For You?

[Guest Sandra]

(reposting since the previous thread was corrupted due to a server issue)

Personally I won't feel completely female until I get SRS and I know I'll be a lot happier when its done. There are some transwomen that don't get the operation and are perfectly fine with it. But I'd always be self-conscious and worried about being discovered, plus clothes would fit better. I can understand if people don't do get SRS for financial reasons or fear of surgical complications/loss of sensation (which is not a negligible risk).

How about yourself?

[Guest Donna Jean]

Oh, Sandra.....

Yes, SRS is of the utmost importance to me! If I don't have any serious money or health problems...I will transition fully! It was never a doubt in my mind...

How odd, because just an hour ago my wife and I were sitting talking about it! She told me about the pictures she had recently seen about it and if I was afraid of it. The surgery, that is. Nope!

She said 'Good, I'll stand with you all the way!"

So, thanks for getting this back up, Sandra, very nice of you!

And true..clothes will fit better and so will your attitude!

Thanks, Hon...

Donna Jean

[Guest Sandra]

Oh, Sandra.....

Yes, SRS is of the utmost importance to me! If I don't have any serious money or health problems...I will transition fully! It was never a doubt in my mind...

How odd, because just an hour ago my wife and I were sitting talking about it! She told me about the pictures she had recently seen about it and if I was afraid of it. The surgery, that is. Nope!

She said 'Good, I'll stand with you all the way!"

So, thanks for getting this back up, Sandra, very nice of you!

And true..clothes will fit better and so will your attitude!

Thanks, Hon...

Donna Jean

My pleasure Donna Jean, its wonderful to hear you have a very supportive wife and that like me you're looking forward to getting SRS.

While I'm sure the surgery will be a difficult ordeal, it'll be all worth it in the end to become on the outside, who you are on the inside.

I appreciate your thoughts Dear...

Sandra

[Guest Sofiadragon]

I can't wait to get my SRS, but I still have yet to get to a therapist but I should be starting that in early FEB 'cause I will be a little more financially stable @ that time.

[Guest RainBird]

This is as important to me as the air I breathe, I dread every day that goes by having this grotesque masculine bulge down below.

[Guest Sandra]

I can't wait to get my SRS, but I still have yet to get to a therapist but I should be starting that in early FEB 'cause I will be a little more financially stable @ that time.

Good to know and I wish you all the best. You're certainly further along in the process than I am. Seeing other people's transitional successes here is definitely encouraging.

[Guest Sandra]

This is as important to me as the air I breathe, I dread every day that goes by having this grotesque masculine bulge down below.

I know the feeling.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Well - that is a good question... my answer is like all of us women in mind and soul - we who happen to be in male bodies - yes, I want to be complete.

I have been working with a great post-op MTF who questioned me on that - and finally made me realize I was already a woman complete in the important ways. SRS is frosting on the cake. I cannot obsess on it or it will not be achieved. To be able to have SRS I will have to be in a place where SRS is the only thing that makes sense to do - no alternative will work - completely logical - yes... I am working to get to that place. My therapist and I are gonna have to start over on this...

Deep huh? Think on it.

[Guest Sandra]

Well - that is a good question... my answer is like all of us women in mind and soul - we who happen to be in male bodies - yes, I want to be complete.

I have been working with a great post-op MTF who questioned me on that - and finally made me realize I was already a woman complete in the important ways. SRS is frosting on the cake. I cannot obsess on it or it will not be achieved. To be able to have SRS I will have to be in a place where SRS is the only thing that makes sense to do - no alternative will work - completely logical - yes... I am working to get to that place. My therapist and I are gonna have to start over on this...

Deep huh? Think on it.

You're absolutely right hun. I should mention that SRS is what's right for me and some others but there's nothing wrong with choosing not to go through with it.

Many transwomen stay pre-op (or non-op) and are perfectly content as they are.

[Guest April63]

For me, SRS is not too important. I think it might be a nice thing to have, but I'm not sure about it. I don't hate my male parts too much, and I can live with them. Big surgery, a lot of money, hmm, I don't know. I'm not sure if I really want to change my body in that way, even if it would provide me with a greater feeling of self.

April

[Guest mia 1]

To paraphrase our President-Elect. I could no easier deny my male parts then my own white grandmother. I've been male/female for nearly 61 yrs. I feel I need to be both to be truly happy. Perhaps that's the difference between androgny and MTF. I don't know if that is off topic, but that is the way I see myself. So yes my male parts are important to me, but the female part of my life is what brings me happiness. Hope that answers your question about SRS/GRS and those of us not seeking that paticular important part of this journey we are on.

Believe me Sandra it took me a long time to come this far, and it has been a long time coming.

[Sally]

As a person who has never understood 'cosmetic surgery' or 'elective surgery' and a great coward in the pain and recovery department anyone who knows me would naturally assume that I would choose the non-op option!

They couldn't be more wrong!

I have thought about it a lot and to me SRS is important - I have started so many things in my life that I have never finished because I deccided to change directions - I intend to finish this!

To me, stopping before surgery would be like climbing Mt. Everest and just a few feet from the summit handing my camera to one of the Sherpas and saying, "When you get up ther snap a few shots for me, I'm going to wait here."

This is something that I feel compeled to complete and that will require the surgery - everyone is different, but I have drifted through life with so many interests and an apparent lack of focus, I just want to complete something!

Love ya,

Easily Side-tracked Sally

[Guest KristinaJ]

Omg, this is the MOST important thing to me. I don't care if I were to die in the operation, get some sort of infection and die or have a heart attack right after. Hurray for SRS CAN NOT WAIT

[Guest Zabrak]

As much as SRS is not complete for FTMs I still very much want it. I can wait without feeling bad about waiting, though, as I'm content just knowing in the future that I'll have it.

[Guest Kelly Ann]

I have the Temtations on,,,the stereo silly...uuuUUuuuuummmm...this subject makes me rock my shoulders all over and squeeze them together...LOOoooooooOOOoooOOOoNNNNNNnG <sigh> grace upon us all, Kelly Ann

[Guest OneOutOfnOne]

Honestly, I'm not that dissatisfied with my male parts for the money and risk of SRS to be something I want. But then, I don't believe the contents of one's pants makes one's gender any more than who one is attracted to.

[Guest Leah1026]

(reposting since the previous thread was corrupted due to a server issue)

Personally I won't feel completely female until I get SRS and I know I'll be a lot happier when its done. There are some transwomen that don't get the operation and are perfectly fine with it. But I'd always be self-conscious and worried about being discovered, plus clothes would fit better. I can understand if people don't do get SRS for financial reasons or fear of surgical complications/loss of sensation (which is not a negligible risk).

How about yourself?

Well I needed it for my own feeling of completeness. That said I would warn you against thinking SRS is the be all and end all. Because after SRS life goes on. SRS only fixes ONE problem. I have known a few people who became depressed after SRS because their life wasn't perfect. So realize SRS is but one stop on the bigger journey we call life.

Now my controversial stand. Seeing as one can get SRS for about 8k in Thailand, almost everybody can afford it. Also transsexualism isn't about sex! Anybody who fears loss of sensation is either not a transsexual person or they are a surgery-phobe. Although sensation is good, it was essentially a bonus for me because I would've still had surgery even if I knew there would be no sensation. Transsexual women desire to be complete. Those who don't desire to be complete are not transsexual, they are transgender. Now before everybody jumps on me for being elitist, I support everyone whether they be TG or TS. However, labels are important, they help bring order to what would be chaos. Being born transsexual sets you up for a unique life experience. A life experience that is not shared by TG folks. I yearned to be the person I should have been, to be as complete as possible. That is what defines a transsexual person. I achieved my goal and that has opened a whole new range of possibilities in my life that just aren't available to TG people. My life is now pretty much identical to other single women my age. And as I said before that was my goal: To be the person I should have been.

Then why am I here?

Because I've been there, done that and want to help others who are still in the process.

I must also add that my heart aches for transsexual men. Their surgical options (bottom) are quite limited and not nearly as good as what us women have. If I could have one wish I would ask that your surgery was as effective as what I got.

[Guest cerise]

I have thought about it a lot but more so when I was younger . I feel I wanted it just so I wouldn't have to walk around in stealth . I could not pass in public so it has not been an option even if it was an obsession at times.

I live as much as I can as a woman and that is working for now .

I don't think you are being an elitist however being TG has given me children and the determination to be as much a woman as I can be in spirit and in interaction with others.

Being open about my female side as I have been to my children , brother ex-wife and mother has solved a lot of the angst I have felt over the years and finally being honest about who I am , is my way of becoming the person I should have been .

[Guest Elizabeth K]

UPDATE on SRS

And this is a personal update on this wonderful topic.

I did talk with my therapist (like I said in the earlier reponse). She said she knew from the first session I would want SRS I must be so obvious, my goodness.

My wife knows and she doesn't agree now. She may not change her mind later - so please remember readers SRS is expensive, not only in the $ sense.

Plus - I am different somehow now that I know I will have the SRS in a few years. So know this SRS is a VERY serious issue, just in it's consideration.

Go slow with this

[Guest Sofiadragon]

UPDATE on SRS

And this is a personal update on this wonderful topic.

I did talk with my therapist (like I said in the earlier reponse). She said she knew from the first session I would want SRS I must be so obvious, my goodness.

My wife knows and she doesn't agree now. She may not change her mind later - so please remember readers SRS is expensive, not only in the $ sense.

Plus - I am different somehow now that I know I will have the SRS in a few years. So know this SRS is a VERY serious issue, just in it's consideration.

Go slow with this

That is what I am worried about 'cause my wife seems so sure that we will stay together throught this whole thing or @ least that is what she says but I keep sensing that she is hiding some feelings that she isn't willing to tell me, I don't know if it is just my parinoia 'cause of how bad my life has been up untill now or not but either way only time will tell right ?

[Guest amie]

I know my physical comfort would mean a considerable difference in my life not only for myself, but those around me as well. The fact is, I have a lot to offer those that choose to be involved with me (or would have, rather) but my anger due to this physical damnation of mine has impeaded my ability to do so for I can't truly express myself to my desired capacity. What am I suppose to do, lie and put on a fake smiley face and pretend my hated flesh doesn't or shouldn't make a difference in terms of my relationships or development of such with others? It's made me a very angry individual. My mannerisms simply do not coincide with being male. I've been called such things as "fairy," "powderfuff," "candy-***," and all the related BS slang. It's bitter-sweet sometimes to think of how far I've could have went had I only been born in my rightful body. But I'm true to myself in the veracity department so much that when I die I'll hesitate not for a split second to tell the creator something to the effect, "I really hope you're happy with how you've restricted me."

To offer another example of how much it would mean to me to have the mass poop between my legs gone for the duration, I cannot sleep in the nude for any decent length of time whatsoever without waking because of it. If I don't wear a pair of bikini underwear a size or two smaller than what I'm suppose to I'm likely to feel the mistake shift when I roll over in my sleep and it wakes me almost everytime.

I think to God, Budda, Satan, Jason Effin' Vorheves, Freddie Kruger, or who the hell ever created this whole thing we know as life, had their head clean up their butt when it comes to some of this stuff especially when it came to placing the male genitalia right between one's legs. This was nothing but asinine.

I was talking to one of my Transgender girlfriends just the other day and she asked me that if given the chance to transition meant altering my personality to even the most minor degree would I be willing to do so? Quite naturally and without any hesitation I answered with, "hell no."

[Sally]

Well,

Anger is one reaction to having spent a lifetime in the wrong body and I certainly feel the frustration as well.

Most of us try so hard not to express the pent up emotions that we feel when talking to people who do not share our gender issues!

I am reaching the point of yelling at more than one of them myself and I'm the ever cheerfull Pollyanna!

It does feel good to vent every now and then and this is a good place - we are a great deal more likely to understand!

I will probably never yell at anyone about it and continue to walk away shaking my head - I've avoided confrontation as much as possible my entire life and I don't see that changing in my transition.

So I just might need to enlist you, Amie to get my point across to some of the more stuborn individuals!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest amie]

Well,

Anger is one reaction to having spent a lifetime in the wrong body and I certainly feel the frustration as well.

Most of us try so hard not to express the pent up emotions that we feel when talking to people who do not share our gender issues!

I am reaching the point of yelling at more than one of them myself and I'm the ever cheerfull Pollyanna!

It does feel good to vent every now and then and this is a good place - we are a great deal more likely to understand!

I will probably never yell at anyone about it and continue to walk away shaking my head - I've avoided confrontation as much as possible my entire life and I don't see that changing in my transition.

So I just might need to enlist you, Amie to get my point across to some of the more stuborn individuals!

Love ya,

Sally

I love the thought of helping if only by way of reading one's thoughts on these matters be it angry or otherwise. In this specific department, consider me one at your disposal be it general post, PM or E-mail.

Food for thought: profanity is simply a form of expression. It's always killed me how people have taken words formed from the very letters that are "child, christian, senior citizen or whatever" friendly and made them to mean something dramatically different or offensive than what they actually are much less need to be. Let me offer an excellent example to support my point. When I was learning to drive a truck out in Salt Lake City I was trained by a Mormon Man that used all the little PG-13 wordy dirds, if you will? He did so on a blankity blank regular, right? Anytheheckwho, there is one case in particular that stands out above all the rest stemming from the degree of ridiculousness involved, yu see?

We were on the interstate and roodly cut off by a four-wheeler (trucker slang for "car") that was attempting to make the upcoming exit ramp, right? Anywho, just as this happened, he shouts out from the passenger side, "Ah you God-foresaken flippin' flipp!" Quite naturally, I laughed my buttocks off and probably half of his as well. I thought to myself, what was the point of makin' such an effort to Barneyize or Mr. Rogers the whole thing when it's meaning is the very same as the so-called, "street slang?"

Since reprimanded before, I've always used astricks n' such to PG-13 my wordy dirds, you realize? At your obvious indirect request, I can take this to an even 700 Club level for the benefit of those sensitive eyes out there amongst us coupled with my desire to remain on this forum.

Well, I guess that's all I have for now. Until next time, I'm off like a blankin' prom dress!

[Sally]

Oh believe me, I understand!

I have never understood why using a PG-13 wordy dird (Ilike that) in the first place - you have obviously thought the rel word first and taken the time to edit it into a less offesive form, why not just leave it out?

In college, I closed a car door on my finger - it actually locked and I had to reach across my body and dig the keys out of my jeans' pocket - I saw one of my good friends a female approaching and I refrained from using any questionable language at all - not because I didn't want to offend her, but because I was embarassed - I knew less than a third of the words that I'd her use on a regular basis!

We do have to keep the playground save for the little ones but I am just fine with the * when you feel the need for emphassis!

As a trucker, have you ever used a tire iron to underscore a point in a heated debate?

I'm sorry, but I couldn't help that I have had thoughts of punctuating my points with a baseball bat!

Frustration is one of the hardest things to deal with.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

This is an EXCELLANT Topic - and I have been watching it grow and develop. And of course being opinionated Liz - yes I am back to that - I wanna throw in a few observations.

I see some really good other TOPICS emerging from this very singular original topic:

(1) Transsexual or Transgender? this comes up all the time. I always say I am transsexual and explain why. I now see there is a bit of snobbery involved, because I feel so strongly about correcting my... well.. equipment, that I seem to not empathise with those who claim to be trangender but don't want the same thing I do... yikes! A revelation - am I the opposite of transgenderphobic as I am predjudiced against transgender who are different from me?

(2) Those post op? We don't seem to ask them the right questions - or enough questions. I go to another location when I want to ask specific post op questions, plus I am lucky enough to have post-op friends. But at Laura's - why do we hesitate to ask those type questions. Or is it just me?

(3) Anger? Some are angry at being in their transgender condition. I am the same way sometimes. I suspect having a chance to explain would make a great topic - and be very revealing. And I really think someone needs to start listing the plusses and minuses - I mean a real well thought out listing - of what we have gained, what we have lost, in our lives by being transgender. My therapist asked me that - I a had a few answers but not enough. Anger shows that maybe the minus side is really really long - I donno

(4) PG rating? Why are we so obsessed with PGism (no such word Liz) in our transition journey. No - I don't mean in our postings, that's obvious as its because of the Junior members and those older ones here that might be offended. And we are all very sensitive here by nature, us transgender, because we are so succeptable to the worst slurs and attacks imaginable. BUT we seen to feel, as FTM especially (FTM seem better centered), that for some reason we need to lose our 'male patterned' way of expression. Yet, as per the Morman example, many males resist talking like sailors. Also, we all know some women who are sewer-mouthed. This needs discussion, as personally I am a bit confused here - I know why I want to lose my bad language - because my adored grandmother never cursed and she is my role model. What about everyone else? Is this even worth talking about? I just ****** don't know - see what I mean? Note the different impact level when I express it that way.

(5) S.O.s support for SRS? That's a good topic - especially for us seriously senior members... that question is just about destroying my transition right now. It's a major topic. We have to go to that forum to see what S.O.s think, but rarely hear from the actual transgender person how they feel and react to their S.O.s support or lack thereof.

S.O. to me means Significant One - as I have said in one of my previous topics - a shameless plug.

And girls and guys - I start way too many of these 'Topic' things - please, please, please - SOMEBODY, take one or more of these and runnnnnnn with it..... grin

Just my opinion - well lotsa them I suppose...

Dizzy Lizzy