Tempted

[Guest Nicole Thrace]

Hi,

My last drink was on Oct 30 2012. I am very proud of that fact. I started drinking when I was 10ys old and now I am 46. I do not miss the mornings of waking up and trying to remenber what happen the nyght before. Waking up and wondering how many friends I still had. Even waking up and not knowing where I was. My life has been so much better with out the alcohol in it!!

The problem is for some reason I have kinda craving alcohol. Kinda like when you want tacos or something. It has been on my mind alot. I been thinking that maybe getting drunk one more time would make these feelings disappear. Then I start worrying that if I get drunk it won't stop at one more time. I don't wanna fall back down into that deep pit of despair I was in before.

Not really sure why I am posting this. I guess I hope that getting these feelings out will somehow make them go away.

Hugs,

Nicole

[MaryEllen]

Hi Nicole,

It sounds as if you know what would happen if you should yield to temptation. No lectures from me. If the cravings get too bad, do something that will take your mind off it. Go for a walk, call a friend, (preferably not a drinking buddy) work on a hobby, etc. Consider going to some AA meetings. Support from others who are in the same boat as you is very helpful. Michelle2010 has AA/NA meetings in the chat on Thursday and Sunday evenings. Why not give that a try. You've got nothing to lose and hopefully, a lot to gain.

MaryEllen

[VickySGV]

Nicole -- you are at one of our really sticky points in recovery, for some reason none of us can completely understand 60 days C&S makes us feel like we can MAYBE do it again. I remember the feelings from that point myself, and they are strong. Even if you have to do it as "him" I would got to either an AA meeting or four here for a few days, or if you are in a medical Chem Dependency Recovery Program, get to one of their support groups. The cravings won't last too long, unless of course you give into them. The big issue on getting into meetings is to be around people and take your focus off the feelings. Again, this won't be long, but it will hit you back in a few months, again for a time long enough to get in trouble, but not all that long on the calendar. The fact that you realize how happy and much better you feel about being sober is fully in your favor, you have won an epic battle at this point, but the real war is not over. Real life people are best, but virtual people (lke us) can help you. We want to see YOU WIN!!

On Thursday at 5PM eastern Time, and Sundays at 9pm we do have AA/NA chats over in the Chat Rooms in the Substance Abuse AA/NA room, each meeting has some different folks in it, but all of us want you to succeed in your recovery. Hang on their Girlfriend.

[Guest]

I love to sing the praises of AA. The meetings are great and probably nothing like people envision them until we try them. We laugh together and cry together and understand just how difficult it is to stay away from the clutches of alcohol. Yet we stay on course without a drink, no matter what comes our way. It is one of the happiest and healthiest places to be. The struggle is so much easier when the load is shared with friends. I hope you can give them a try. if you can stay stopped on your own, I applaud you. I tried that for years and failed miserably. Not anymore, I found a home with family just like me. Hug. JodyAnn

[Drea]

The feeling is the addiction speaking. I am not expect on addition but having some likely will only feed the craving.

Years ago I had to have surgery on my neck. The pain killer perscribed did its job and I was in too much pain at first and any idea that this could be addictive was remote. As my recovery continued however I noticed how it made me feel and recognized how I could easily become addicted and probably was becomming addicted.

It has been years, but those pain killers still call to me. Not much as once unless something triggers a memory, but I know if I act on that call it will only become more powerful.

[Charlize]

Addictions of any type have a cunning and sneaky way of trying to reinstate themselves in our lives. I also have to state that AA has literally saved my life. I have been sober for almost 6 years now which is a miracle. Like Jody i have made wonderful friends in recovery. AA is the world that allowed me to first be myself safely with others and speak honestly about it with both trans and cis people. If the craving gets bad AA in every area has members and meeting usually daily. Anywhere in the world you will find the best support.

I hope to see you here at Laura's if you wish. I'm trying to attend the Thurs. 5:00 est meeting and the 9:00 meeting on Sun. You need a separate registration for the chatrooms but we have fun and help each other.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Michelle 2010]

Hi,

My last drink was on Oct 30 2012. I am very proud of that fact. I started drinking when I was 10ys old and now I am 46. I do not miss the mornings of waking up and trying to remenber what happen the nyght before. Waking up and wondering how many friends I still had. Even waking up and not knowing where I was. My life has been so much better with out the alcohol in it!!

The problem is for some reason I have kinda craving alcohol. Kinda like when you want tacos or something. It has been on my mind alot. I been thinking that maybe getting drunk one more time would make these feelings disappear. Then I start worrying that if I get drunk it won't stop at one more time. I don't wanna fall back down into that deep pit of despair I was in before.

Not really sure why I am posting this. I guess I hope that getting these feelings out will somehow make them go away.

Hugs,

Nicole

Honey, only an alcoholic would see how scary that paragraph is...Cunning, baffling, Powerful...

It's not kinda like tacos at all, actually....

Its the disease of alcoholism whispering in the ear of a person who drank from the age of 10 to the age of 47 and who finally stopped October 30, 2012. If you are like the alcoholics of my type, it is your best friend, your mistress, the siren call that drove Hercules to strap himself to the mast to avoid its whisper. It is the voice that will tell you everything is ok when it is systematically removing from you everything you hold dear including your self respect. When the loved ones are gone, the friends, maybe the boss, are all gone, it may tell you that you didn't need them anyway, that those people didn't understand how it really is... And then that deep pit of despair gets even blacker, unbtil the alcohol is the only thing that gives any relief... Nope, its not at all like wanting tacos, even though it may whisper in your ear that it is...

The good news is that there is a solution and there are people who can help you recognize when you are being lied to

Michelle

[Guest Nicole Thrace]

Hi,

Thanks for the advice. I never consider myself as being addicted.... untill yesterday. I have tried to stop drinking in the past and have always went back to my good friend the bottle. I use to tell myself how the drinking was just part of who I was ,but now I see it differently. Drinking is not like tacos..I have never lost a friend because of eatting tacos. Thanks for opening my eyes!!!!

Unless something comes up at work, I will be at the chat tonyght. I will be the shy girl in the back...lol

Hugs,

Nicole

[Charlize]

I'll be sure to make it dear. You will find that even if you hide under a table if your ears are open you may find some answers. try to be willing to see the similarities you share with other addicts. One of the great things about the Laura's meetings is that we start out with other shared problems.

Looking forward to getting to know you better Nicole.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest]

I so remember being drunk and high, crying my eyes out wishing for all the world I could stop. Drink to oblivion, wake up having come down a little and I forgot all about the crying desires. I was back on the hunt again for the alusive buzz. This time I won't get quite as smashed. BOOM! Back to tears. Round and round the merry-go-round went. My life time line was measured as BC and AD. Bad Childhood and After Dope.

Today I'm happy, joyous and most of all free! Dancing on Venus. Jody