surprised my therapist (mary) on monday

[Guest amanda_s]

Hello i have been seing Mary sinse mid August last year i have seen her in person a few times because of the distance mostly we do video chat which works for both of us she does have use of a room in toronto which is about 2 hour drive for me. Well she has seen me a few times guy mode and this time as me she had such a big smile on her face and she wanted a girl hug which was nice. but before i got there i went to the 519 its on church street in Toronto its the community centre of the LGBT in Toronto. I was there to sigh up for a women's self defence course its 6 hours long should be interesting, already have my outfit for the class Mary told me what to where. I had lunch in the Village then headed to my therapy session on the way i stopped and bought two tops in a store i was looking for a skirt but could not find what i was looking for well will keep looking.

i talked about how things are going how i am feeling plus some things that where posted her and a woman in barrie told me about the Clarke institute more i learn the more i think the doctors who delt with kids in the 1970 through to the 1990's are more pedophiles than doctors. there was a post about a 2 weeks ago i talked about it and then i said you could hold a phone book against a childs body and hit the book it would leave no mark. sinse i read the post i had wonder about things but i had not thought what could have been done to me it just came out when we were talking did this happen to me wow. the woman here in barrie i contacted her i want to know everything she knows about the Clarke. she told me they would have the transgendered kids stand in girls underware and they would take pictures. It was a good day Mary said i have come alone way since we started ,

i also gave her copies of report cards which she explained to me untill i got to grade 9 high school i got always bad marks and i was blamed for everything nothing good was said but in high school the teachers said very nice things in the report cards and my marks were over 80 percent. now i did have problems when i was young Mary explained that they were simptoms of problems at home and the schools egnored the simptoms and said i was the problem and instead of it gettting better the school made it worse i grade 2 i was seperated from the class behind deviders iwas on the side of the class but i could see no one add to that i was in 4 schools by the time i finished grade 6. I always had problems making friends so this didn't help, but now i understand at least. i wore a red blouse and a long black skirt Mary loved the blouse i got the blouse at value village its like goodwill. my nails were done also red well yesterday my mom saw my nails i got most of the nail polish off she asked if i had nail polish remover i said yes most is gone now because my brother and me took my dad out for dinner all 7 of us it was his 73 birthday.

I am feeling very good these days i have friends who know im trans some are straight ,gay and lesbian plus i have friends who are trans also. on the 20th Jorga and erica and I are going to toronto they will introduce me to there endrocologist then i can give my doctor his card and i can be sent there. still working on Dave with time i think he will be fine hes just so busy with his girlfriend which is great, after his wife dumped him he said never again he was going to live alone well now he is so busy with her i dont hear from him as much but i am working on it going to call him tonight see how hes doing. bet it will be a shock for him when he finds out the 2 pictures i sent of a cute red head is me LOL.

i have posted a link to what AnnieB wrote. http://www.lauras-pl...showtopic=53362

sometimes i wonder do i want to know more do i want to know what was done. Mary said that we can deal with the aftermath of finding out everything. I had my ears repreced on sunday by Cassity i meet her at a munch here in barrie she said i am old enough and strong enough that i can handle the information barried in my head. i am alittle afraid of whats in my head but more angry that it was done i do know there are victoms of the clarke who could never come forward because of what was done i don't think i am one of them i not affraid of that freak but i do think that he is affraid. with the internet information is getting around and the abuse that was done to all kinds of people in the 1970's to present is getting out. there is on youtube a video "16 x 9 inside the wrong body" where the people ambush zucker he tells them to see public realations department. most of the mosters of the clarke are gone only zucker remains but his time is running out more and more peolpe don't listen to him anymore his power is fading away who knows i may one day be on a list of people suing him and Camh for abuse.

mom didn't like the new earings she likes the old ones better go figure. one day at a time but she ok right now i do think we are closer that we have ever bin.

one last thing i would like comments about the clarke what some of you think.

Amanda

[Guest]

Thanx for the update Amanda.

Sure wish we had a 519 center out here.

Sounds like you're getting great help from Mary.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest Gypsyfeenix]

Man, I miss Tdot.

Church Street was one of the best experiences I had in Toronto. I met a young fellah there who had some pretty intense piercings, and he was so awesome when I asked him questions - he let few touch a few and wince....lol.

I'm so glad to hear you had such a great face to face. I would guess it was a little exciting, and a little daunting to see each other face to face. Bravo!!