Unhealthy Food Thoughts

[Guest Martin]

First, my story: I've never had an official eating disorder, though at times my eating has been disorder. There have been days at a time when I've barely eaten anything - or nothing at all. However, this ways always "balanced out" by binges so I didn't lose or gain a whole lot of weight. Then I started taking psychotropics and I gained a lot of weight. I stopped taking them and lost weight, but I was also a lot unhappier and so I started some different psychotropics. I gained weight again. I really wasn't eating well at all - I had no self-control and had a huge craving for sweets. I complained about it to my psychiatrist, but he didn't seem to listen. Finally in December I put my foot down. I HAD to lose weight so I could have surgery - or at the bare minimum, stop gaining! So he switched my meds up, and my appetite has more-or-less normalized. I still have a long, long way to go before I'm at my ideal weight - I need to lose about 44 lbs. In about three months. Which is pretty unrealistic. I can still get my surgery if I don't meet this goal, but the closer I get to it, the better my results will be. I HATE being this fat, but as long as I get to my ideal weight eventually, I suppose I'll have to be okay with it.

The recent problem: Someone I know has lost ten pounds in a week. IN A WEEK! She did so in a very unhealthy manner. I KNOW it's unhealthy. I know that I not only need to lose weight, I need to make sure it's fat that I'm losing and that I stay healthy. As far as I know, surgeons won't operate on anorexic people unless they absolutely have to - their bodies can't handle it. Still, I'm very, very jealous. I want to lose tend pounds a week! In a little over a month, I'd be at my ideal weight. I could even go a bit lower than that if I wanted to. And I'd still have plenty of time to shape up for surgery. It sounds perfect. Except for the part where I know it's not healthy, that I couldn't stay on the diet she's on for a month without serious damage to my body (even if I had the necessary stubbornness, which I don't), and that I'll probably put the fat right back on when I stop using such extreme measures. So I won't do it. Don't worry.

However, I am struggling with the emotions and thoughts that have come up. If anyone could lend me support, I'd much appreciate it.

[Guest mia 1]

MARTIN FORGET IT. yOU SET YOUR GOAL FOR 2 LB. PER WEEK, AND DON'T WORRY WHAT THE OTHER PERSON DID OR WORSE THAN WORRYING DON'T BE JEALOUS, JUST THINK OF YOUR SITUATUION AND AS YOU SAID STAYING HEALTHY IS YOUR ONLY OPTION FOR THE SURGERY.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE BORDER LINE EATING DISORDER PRONE, SO FORGET THE 10LB. PER WEEK ACQUANTANCE AND CONCENTRATE ON YOU AND YOUR FUTURE FOR PHYISCAL, MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL STRENGTH...............COME ON MARTIN I'VE READ A LOT OF YOUR POSTS YOU'RE A SMART GUY. CONCERNED HUGS FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,MIA.

[Sally]

Don't let weight bring you down, sorry I didn't mean it like that - I am waaayyyy overweight and I am aiming for 2 pounds a week - to stay healty and to stay sane. More than that and you can't keep it up anyway. Stay healthy or you can't have your surgery!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Martin]

Thank you for the hugs.

I think if I was reliably losing 2 lbs a week, this wouldn't be such a temptation for me. However, over the three weeks of winter break, I only lost a single pound. My psychiatrist says that's a good sign because everyone else gained weight over the holidays. To me, it's Bad. I hate my body at this weight. And I want good surgery results. I'm spending thousands and thousands of dollars that I don't have for surgery - it had better look good afterwards!

I'm so furious that my meds made me gain this much weight. They're supposed to make me happy, not make me hate my body. But I know I can't just go off of them. As long as I don't look into a mirror or down my body, I AM happier now. Less depressed, less anxious, fewer mood swings, better sleep, etc. But shouldn't I be able to like my body as well? What's the point of transitioning if I still can't be on good terms with my body? Okay, I know the answer to that as well, but still. It's not fair that I have to choose between extra pounds and mental stability.

Maybe I should talk to my therapists about this.

[Guest mia 1]

Their you go Martin.Talk to your therapist, but no maybes about it . Absolutly yes.. You are on the right course...Yeah!.....mia

[Guest Huff]

keep in mind that not all psychotropic meds cause weight gain. maybe you could talk to your therapist and psychiatrist about whether a different type of medication could be therapeutic for you without the weight gain?

Also, don't forget that exercise is amazing for body image. (I mean appropriate exercise, not several-hours-a-day bulimic exercise)

Mike

[Sally]

OK, I am the poster child for eating when depressed, nervous, happy, excited, awake - you get the idea. Exercise is a great idea, and an easy one to start up. Start slowly and don't push it, walk about every other day.

1. Make sure that you continue eating just as you have been, not like during the holidays.

2. Start walking - not that much at first, just a little bit about ten minutes.

3. Increase the distance that you walk until you are close to a mile.

4. Increase your walking speed until ten minutes covers that mile.

5. increase the distance.

Do not reward yourself by walking to an Ice Cream Parlor!

If you can do this regularly along with your diet you will be amazed at home quickly changes will begin to appear.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Okay - Okay I confess

I am a fast-to-lose weight idiot. I started dieting about 12 November and it is what ? 22 of January. I went from 226 to today's 194 - thats 32 pounds in what? 72 days? thats .45 pounds a day - wow first time I figured it out like that.

Losing 2 pounds a week is the healthy way. that's about .3 pounds a day. At that rate I should have lost just 21.5 pounds so the difference is just 10 pounds between healthy and unhealthy, for that time period.

What did it cost me? I won't find out for a while, but as I am diabetic it could cost me a great deal. I do know my eyesight has changed and my prescription glasses don't seem to work well anymore. that's not good. I know my therapist had a FIT when she saw me - now she thinks I need councing on that compulsion to lose weight - and that's not good. I know I now have an adversion to food like I am anorexic - and that's not good.

And what I did wasn't as extreme as might be thought. As a diabetic II - I have to watch my weight anyway. I eat five small meals a day - I just cut out half of them. I also have been on a 'no carbohydrates diet' for five years, that's a given for losing weight. And I must have a minimum of 30 minutes of exercise a day - so I did that. The major change was NO food except at the meal time I specified. NONE - NO SNACKING - NADA - Not a crumb, No backsliding.

I also cut the portions down. I drank plenty of water to keep hydrated, and I monitored my blood sugars (diabetics do that anyway). I also would allow my body to plateau at the 5 or 6 pound levels, eating well for a day or two before starting dieting again.

And I also cut out diet drinks. Apparently they make you gain weight somehow...

But I am also 6'2" so 226 was 'way' overweight. My goal of 192 is a "normal" weight for my height.

I did this weight loss as a promise to myself when I started HRT. I also now promissed my therapist to never lose more than 1 pound per week (much less two).

I hope this helps

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Weight and weight loss is tough to deal with. I'm a bit overweight and have gained a little since my chest surgery. For whatever reason, it is very hard for me to lose weight. For a year I would diet and go to the gym at least 4 times a week (weights and cardio). I felt loads better and was much healthier, but I didn't lose a whole lot of weight or diameter. It was pretty disheartening. It made me consider more drastic methods, like just not eating.

It's not worth it! A lot of times it feels like it is, but it isn't. You have to take things slowly, eat well, and exercise. Sometimes you will hit a plateau. If you haven't been doing weight training, I'd highly recommend it. The only major weight loss progress I've made came after I started weight lifting, and I wasn't even doing a whole lot. This was also before I was on T.

Anyway, it sounds like you totally know what to do and know what the right way to lose the weight is. I know it's hard to resist the temptation to go with the more drastic diet, even it would only be for a little while. The promise of quick results is very tempting. You just have to keep telling yourself the same stuff over and over. It's not healthy. Losing weight to feel better about yourself is awesome, but in the end it is all about your health. You want to do what's healthy!

Hang in there!