Girl Mode

[Guest Sandra]

While I'm not presently able to begin my transition, I get to be my female self in other, smaller but meaningful ways. There's an active online social networking site that I'm a member of and I get my chance to fully be a girl on it and guys/girls, treat me accordingly. Its a liberating experience and helps me hone my persona better. Initially I was nervous (and remain cautious) since I thought they'd figure out that I'm lying and realize I'm a male behind the anonymous profile but its been quite the opposite. I used to post as a guy before and now as a girl I see a noticeable difference in how I get treated. But what I like best about it is to just be myself (a girl) and not be seen any differently. It gets a little dicey when guys/girls flirt with me and want to meet-but I play it off well.

Of course this isn't anything like actually dressing up and going out into the world as a woman and be treated like one. That's a whole other ball game and those who do it are very courageous (or passable). I think however they probably get a bigger rush when they are accepted as women in real life. I'm sure there's numerous transwomen here that can attest to this fact. I know it'll probably be exciting for the first few months and then it'll be routine. Still I longingly look forward to the real thing one day. Feel free to share your 'girl mode' experiences.

[Sally]

Hey Sandra,

I have been 'myself' here on the forums for a little while now and even though everyone here knows that I am MTF they treat me as a woman and I am. I have been out and about - not much because of my job situation, but my therapist is in another city so I dress and go to her office. I am not a petite lass, at 6'4" and 329 (down from 360+) but I have had men hold doors open for me and nod as they walk by and no one seems to notice me as being 'different', I think that I am a woman and so do they, attitude is the key. You will make it one day, enjoy those first times because after that it becomes 'normal'.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Sandra]

Hey Sandra,

I have been 'myself' here on the forums for a little while now and even though everyone here knows that I am MTF they treat me as a woman and I am. I have been out and about - not much because of my job situation, but my therapist is in another city so I dress and go to her office. I am not a petite lass, at 6'4" and 329 (down from 360+) but I have had men hold doors open for me and nod as they walk by and no one seems to notice me as being 'different', I think that I am a woman and so do they, attitude is the key. You will make it one day, enjoy those first times because after that it becomes 'normal'.

Love ya,

Sally

Hey Sally,

I should've clarified in case there was any confusion. On this forum I'm openly a transsexual but on a different forum that I frequent-which is primarily a straight/hetero dating/social-networking site, I post as a female.

Its wonderful to know you're able to go out and be treated as a woman. You're certainly right about attitude-being self-conscious in public will no doubt attract that negative attention we want to avoid. Thanks for the encouragement-I'm both a bit scared yet excited about going out in public but ya it'll be great when it becomes a routine thing.

Love u2,

Sandra

[Guest mia 1]

Sandra let me make sure I have this correct. You are talking about a "straight/heterosexual" {your words}social networking site. Yhis is ot a dating site. Or am I wrong because if it were a da ting site what you are doing could be dangerous to your health, if social networking you are fine. Please clarify so I don't worry.Mia.

[Guest Sandra]

Sandra let me make sure I have this correct. You are talking about a "straight/heterosexual" {your words}social networking site. Yhis is ot a dating site. Or am I wrong because if it were a da ting site what you are doing could be dangerous to your health, if social networking you are fine. Please clarify so I don't worry.Mia.

Mia, well its primarily a forum yet also a dating and social networking site. I appreciate your concern but please don't worry I'm a smart cookie who's very careful and avoid trouble-I don't meet anyone off it, I just post there for fun. But I am curious, do elaborate on why you feel it may be 'dangerous to my health.'

[Guest Kelly Ann]

Good Morning Sandra...I just saw Mia's post and your query and couldn't help myself. I suppose those types of places can be something of a vicarious thrill...I like roller-coasters better . From one keyboard to another is pretty impersonal...so the levels get bumped up...hey it's just cyber-talk after all isn't it...and it's 'fun'. Well it can also be pretty dangerous both physically and mentally as there are monsters that inhabit all the dark corners ready and more than willing to pounce. You've probably even heard of a few of the more famous cases, because they ended bad. The young lady who couldn't take it anymore from an adult that hounded her on one very well known site springs to my mind. I seriously have to wonder about those that take it a step further and want to 'meet'. Now why would someone travel, occasionally great, distances to meet somebody they met in cyber-space? It just seems creepy and makes my skin crawl. Is this person incapable of social interaction in their own back yard? Probably not. It's hard enough sometimes to know whats cooking behind another persons eyes when you meet them in person...that difficulty becomes impossible when it's over a keyboard. Predators know this and use it to their best effect and everyone else's detriment.

The chat rooms here are a lot of fun...I just type waaay too slow and the subjects tend to 'jump' a little fast for me...lots of the abbreviations make me scratch my head...hokey smokes I sound like an old fuddy duddy...YIKES. I can't stop giggling at myself anytime I do attempt to go on there...both times...because I'm like an old Ford Model T with Porsches whizzing by me like I'm going backwards. So enjoy Laura's...I haven't seen anybody be treated anyway but nice here and just exactly as who they are too. Keep smiling Sandra and be careful...please. Big Hug for you, Kelly Ann

[Guest Emily1]

Hi, I go out all the time as a girl (everywhere but school), and it is GREAT!

I think the only reason I can is because I feel no embarrassment from anything. The only time I was every embarrassed was talking about sexual parts, but now that I have done so much research on transsexual stuff, I don't even feel uncomfortable about that. It really helps with confidence! Whenever you go out, just remember that no matter what anybody else says, you ARE a girl!

[Sally]

You go girl!

That is the attitude that I am always talking about - Emily has it working for her!

You KNOW that you are a girl and so will everyone else!

Love that attitude,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

You ever just drop in a thread and not know why? Thats kinda what I did when I clicked here cuz there was no reason for me to read about "girl mode". HOWEVER I'm glad I did cuz Mia and Kelly Ann are right on when they tell you a "dating" site has all the potential in the world to be dangerous for ANYbody much less a trans person. People who want to meet people go outside. People who want to find someone to "target" go onlline. HUGE differnce between "dating" site and "social" site. If I want a "date" theres something I want out of that date thats "right now" you don't lurk around hiding your face scoping out strangers anonymously for stuff like that. Thats a wierdo.

A bunch of folks log in to log in thats a social group. A bunch of people on Second Life or something thats a social group who like a common format. But a person who sits in the dark goin "hello little girl, who are you?" thats a freak. Stay away from em

[Sally]

Just dropped in a thread! You've been lurking again! Mother warned you about that Evan! But in this case I won't tell on you because you gave good sound advice and made things very clear, so I'll offer you a sugar cookie instead - they're still warm!

Drop in anytime, you know that a few of us hang around the men's locker room, using the moderator job as an excuse.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I am afraid I am going against the grain here. I do not like the idea of playacting as a girl when it is a misrepresentation.

Now I play acted in the past and still do playact when I present as a male , but I am still physically in a male body.

So this may seem hypocritical. I suppose it comes down to whether this 'acting the part of a GG' is the problem. And I also feel 'if it gives a thrill' there is something not quite HONEST going on.

I am a great believer in LEARNING how to be in the gender you identify, but to flirt and interact with males who think you are GG over the internet? I don't see any benefit.

It would ruin my sense of self. I am female in mind, and always have been, and always will be. I never want to 'playact' as a female.

If I was presenting as female and in person? Then I wouldn't be playacting at all.

Does that make sense? Donno

[Guest Sandra]

Oh my that's a lot of great feedback. Don't mind me if I can't get to all your messages-I appreciate everyone's responses nonetheless.

Good Morning Sandra...I just saw Mia's post and your query and couldn't help myself...

Evening Kelly Ann, indeed there are all kinds of weirdos on the net and in the real world. I think the key for everyone is to be cautious and use common sense, even moreso for transgendered people. And yes we live vicariously through others until we are able to do it ourselves.

Hi, I go out all the time as a girl (everywhere but school), and it is GREAT! I think the only reason I can is because I feel no embarrassment from anything. The only time I was every embarrassed was talking about sexual parts, but now that I have done so much research on transsexual stuff, I don't even feel uncomfortable about that. It really helps with confidence! Whenever you go out, just remember that no matter what anybody else says, you ARE a girl!

Aww thanks hun and I'm happy for you that you can go out dressed as a girl. You have a great attitude about it and yes we are girls but we're still required to fit into society's mold to be accepted as such.

You go girl! That is the attitude that I am always talking about - Emily has it working for her! You KNOW that you are a girl and so will everyone else! Love that attitude,

Sally

Agreed Sally

You ever just drop in a thread and not know why?.....

Evan, I think people got the wrong idea from my initial post and its my mistake for not explaining it more clearly. While people do meet/date from that site, its more for general discussion (like this forum) on various topics. Its actually a lot of fun and trust me, I'm not there to meet anyone. Its just nice to be my female self on that site and be treated like a girl. Once I transition, then I'll be ready to meet/date as a woman maybe in a year or two-presently nooo way!

I am afraid I am going against the grain here....

Nothing wrong with a difference of opinion Elizabeth, all perspectives are welcomed. Well I don't really see it as play-acting, I see it as an opportunity to be the person I am on the inside (a girl) in a relatively safe and harmless way. I also believe I get to learn to be in this gender more by practicing it-even if its only online. Its a precursor to actually physically changing my gender and I believe it'd make the transition easier and smoother. After having been stuck in a male body/gender all my life, I find it liberating to get to be who I know I really am. Of course when I get to do it in real life it'll be all that much better. I hope that sounds reasonable.

*hugs for everyone*

[Guest Evan_J]

you know that a few of us hang around the men's locker room, using the moderator job as an excuse.

And this is a secret?

I am afraid I am going against the grain here. I do not like the idea of playacting as a girl when it is a misrepresentation.

Now I play acted in the past and still do playact when I present as a male , but I am still physically in a male body.

So this may seem hypocritical. I suppose it comes down to whether this 'acting the part of a GG' is the problem. And I also feel 'if it gives a thrill' there is something not quite HONEST going on.

I am a great believer in LEARNING how to be in the gender you identify, but to flirt and interact with males who think you are GG over the internet? I don't see any benefit.

It would ruin my sense of self. I am female in mind, and always have been, and always will be. I never want to 'playact' as a female.

If I was presenting as female and in person? Then I wouldn't be playacting at all.

Does that make sense? Donno

I think the real issue here, at least from where I see it is that its a dating site. And with that one word comes the whole priority of safety. AND the question of "who's honest" as it applies to being safe.

On the topic of the internet in "broad" terms, the internet in the minds of probably the majority of folks looking for anything "social" IS the place to go to be dishonest. Be cooler, richer, taller, single if you're married and yes a different sex than the one you physically are.

All of those "deceptions" are common online.

Sandra's hardly "unique" in that regard. The part where its "messin with something dangerous is when you bring it (or anything) into "dating" sites.

Two people play Warhammer all day long, heck you're already a druid, mage, supernatural creature or whatever who really cares if you throw other physical sex in there for your interactions and yes peeps "fall in love" and have sex in these games too. But "a rl hookup" is never the purpose of them initiating the entire membership. The online hookin up and romancing is a "side dish" -sometimes a great and pleasant side dish- but side dish, in a context thats based in these two people not being in rl. And while in the instance of a site like this one whether someone is "pretending" things can be a redflag to danger and an enemy. Typically online you (well at least I) don't owe anybody anything certainly not any "truths" about who what and where someone is.

[Guest Kelly Ann]

Evan you just always astound me with your observations, you really know how to throw down truths...whew...It took me a week of just meandering around here before I 'took the leap' and actually registered...and truth be known, this is a first and only for me. Er...Do those 'dating' sites that advertise on T.V. where you pay the money and they make matches count? THAT was one of THE singularly most horrible things I ever did...absolute madness from all directions. Just be cautious Sandra...the world was a dangerous place when I grew up...it's even more so now. THAT'S a darn shame too. I never 'dated' anyone more that 1-2 years younger than me when I was a youngster and never someone under the age of majority...and that means EVER. There used to be codes that good people just didn't break...soooo when I was in my late 30's I dated somebody 14 years older than me and in my late 40's someone 13 years younger...heck we'd all been around the block. It is different though for you youngsters and hey you don't have to grow up so soon...your living, generally, THE best part of your budding lives. So enjoy it with your peers not some creepy geezer. Er excuse me I must get Sally's Soapbox back before she notices it's been moved, Kelly Ann

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Evan - good point... hummm "dating site." Not gonna be much honesty there anyway. So I guess playing female is okay - and you wouldn't be alone.

I just wouldn't be doing it - just me. And I met my wife (an angel) through the personals.

So I am not that priggish (until I used the word priggish - duh - nobody even knows what that means unless they ARE priggish - ha!)

Dating on the internet is a shot in the dark anyway (no - nothing nasty meant - G-rated site here).

Oh go to bed Lizzy - its almost 9:30.

WHERES MY coco and cookies??? Huh-huh-huh???

[Guest mia 1]

Well a ton of info for you Sandra. And speaking of cookies you sound like a smart one. As Evan said being someone you're not can be cool.

But it is not cool on the dating sites.

Besides the obvious trolls and pedophiles there are I.T. trolls and pedophiles who have access to your computer.

Now at Laura's there is absolutly no dating etc. so you are safe as you can possiby be in this accessible information age because the predators etc. are kicked off and banned.

So I won't go into any further explanation ,except to say to you please listen to us, we're not just wasting words here in cyberspace.......Be warned Hugs,,Mia.