How Desparate Are We?

[Guest Elizabeth K]

This topic may be a bit darker than most and I didn't intend it that way originally, I wanted to see how the MTF community would react (FTM are invited, but would reverse the gender indications).

Just how desparate are we to become women? I understand there are great age differences here and differences in opportunity. DISCLAIMER: The following is intended as hypothetical, and is not possible in reality under any circumstances.

OKAY: You walk into a shop set in the future. For a fee you can reassign yourself into another body. You are in the MTF section and you are shown the possibilities by viewing bodies available for rent or purchase, and all are female. There are some exchanges that will even allow you a credit. You understand that the bodies have an owner, who is temporarily in 'status suspended' awaiting to be transfered into your body - and you into theirs if the deal is made.

Would you agree to any of the following, given the conditions shown?

A. A beautiful 24 year old starlet or model - tall and perfect in every detail - but with a fatal disease that will kill her in 20 years. Deal is even exchange, and must be permanent. Her disease is progressive.

B. Average All American girl, age 18, average to good in all aspects, but transgender dysphoric FTM. Deal is even exchange but the gender dysphoria is part of the deal. She is destined to die in top surgery if she choses to have it.

C. Average woman, average in most aspects, but slightly disturbed with several mental phobia that keep her generally institutionalized, but otherwise in good health. Deal is twenty years off your lifespan - body and mind as is.

D. Perfect 20 year old female - good to above average in all ways, intelligent. Married and with two newly born twins. Even deal but the twins must die immediately as payment.

E. Beautiful 38 year old woman, convicted of murder, who is sentenced to die - may or may not have her sentence commuted to life imprisonment. Deal, she pays you an additional 10 years to your new life.

F. Former movie star, wealthy and well respected. Age 78 - she pays you by giving you her fortune. The exchange is to be permanent.

G. Mixed race 8 year old female child, orphaned and without resources, begging in the steets of a poor country, life expectancy 12 years. Deal, you get 10 dollars and a chance to be bought by a child prostitution ring, which will add 20 years to your lifespan.

H. Woman on the Titanic - age 18, wealthy but falls for an Irish steerage passage guy named Leonardo something-or-other. She does not get to crawl on top of the box and at the end sinks to the ocean floor. Deal, even trade and your estate gets the residuals from the movie.

I. You get to exchange with a full post op MTF transexual. She is not always passable but has a great attitude. Deal, after the exchange you realize she is really you. Cost - your wife, your kids, your friends, your job.

J. You get to exchange with the beautiful 29 year old woman who is showing you the body models. Deal - you can never go home as this is a fantasy. You must depend on the dreaming of others for your existance - otherwise you just blink out. You hope this is a common fantasy.

Dark enough?

[Guest Emily1]

I want D - I am in no way connected to the twins, so I don't mind, and I want most to be an average not old (no more than mid 20s, but as young as possible) girl/woman.

[Guest Sandra]

Hehe, none of the options seem desirable at all, except maybe the first (A). While I'd like to live into my 80s or longer because I'd love to see how the world changes, if I had to chose that is the only sensible option in the list for me. I'd get about 20 years being gorgeous and fulfilling my dream. Live fast, die young isn't that the saying.

[Guest mia 1]

None of the above. Compared to the rest , my life is a blessing. Actually my life is a blessing not comparative but superlative. Remeber the nomnitave, comparative and superlative cases from 6th grade english classes? I am in the latter case. Sorry about the "I" situation hits home to too many of us and the thought is it could happen tomorrow to me or to any of us. SOrry for the redundancy........Mia

[Guest Kelly Ann]

Jeeze Liz...I haven't even got the team basketball uniform yet...Sally say's they're HOT...er wait a minute ya think she was funning me? Ok oK OOoooK...I courtsy, do a runway 180 and rapidly walk off into my sometimes annoying but always interesting future...with sweaty palms/trembling knees/and a jack-hammer heart beat...whoa...I'm pretty much ok with the way I am...and I start whistling little bits and pieces of favorite songs...generally poorly as I'm a terrible whistler<sigh>can't do everything good...and then I go shopping, Kelly Ann

[Guest Evan_J]

Thank you Elizabeth you just made this all a whole lot easier.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Thank you Elizabeth you just made this all a whole lot easier.

Evan - you always see right through me - you are such a jewel!

[Guest Martin]

I'm so glad I didn't have to make that choice. So very, very glad. The price was high enough as is.

I wouldn't have traded with any of those people. The point was to be myself. I'm not them. I'll never be them. The correct sex is only one of many things that defines me. And if transitioning meant that someone else had to die - especially two helpless, innocent children - I would NOT have done it. I was miserable, but not that cold-hearted. So what would I have done? Probably live out a miserable, awkward life with a female body. Quite possibly die at a young age because I couldn't take it anymore. And maybe, MAYBE there's a chance I would have lived to be a happy, very masculine woman with enough therapy. Maybe other areas of my life would have compensated for my dysphoria.

So how desperate was I? Enough to risk everything. What was the actual cost? Well, it was a lot lower. I was lucky. Very lucky.

[Guest April63]

I don't think I really like any of them. I guess I'm not very desperate.

April

[Guest CharliTo]

The closest I'd go for is D...buut....whoa, I would probably stay the MTF I am if I were to kill two babies, or end up in any of those. Mainly because I wouldn't know what those are like... and I already have enough to deal with in my plate... so yeah, I'm not THAT desperate.

...and i have this feeling that knowing your own future would take out like a gooood portion of life's fun :3

[Guest amie]

None of the above. All of which are substandard.

[Sally]

I apparently am not desperate at all, I am willing to stay who I am and be as passable or not as I may be. I have made mistakes in my life and I have waited way too long to start transitioning, but all in all it has been a good life so far and I would not trade it or my future for anything. For the first time in my life I have a clear image of my future and I like it!

No thanks, I'll pass,

Supremely Satisfied Sally

[Guest Magan]

There are many… oh so many things I would like to change about my body. But I like who I am, and I don’t want someone else's body. There are a few choice body parts bouncing around out there that I am jealous of, but not jealous enough to try and steal them. I will wait and see what hormones and time will do thank you.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Well, Lizzy, lets see.....

I guess I will have to step over with the crowd that are going to try to make it with what they have and can do with it.

Most of your options scare me! (but of course you meant that )

Nicely done, Hon.....you made us think....

OWwww...that hurts!

Donna Jean

[Guest Sarinah]

I would choose G, so that someone else didnt hafto suffer through that, but not because thats the body or life that I want. I am content with who I am as is, dont think I would be better off as someone else.

[Guest thisismylife]

Im pretty desperate to be accepted but not that desperate. i just find this depressing...

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Im pretty desperate to be accepted but not that desperate. i just find this depressing...

Fi

Oooops - sorry - it was meant to make people think. We really don't have it that bad sometimes - and we need to think about that.

No this was not a typical topic - grin - sorry. I am a bit of a trouble maker sometimes - hang in there - we loves ya!

Dark minded LIZZY - wow, its nice out today - suns shining! Nevermind..,

[Guest thisismylife]

Depressing or not i guess its an interesting thing to think about but im sure If i was in that position at some point in my life id hate myself for the desision id made regardless of what it was (including walking away).

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I want what's behind Door #3.

*crosses fingers* I hope it's a car!

[Guest OneOutOfnOne]

I wouldn't take any of these... I know all too clearly what I want to be, and doubt my willingness to choose from pre-existing options.

However, the wording of choice A bothers me a bit. Of course, I'd like to be beautiful. (Would I like to be 24? Well, I can wait four years for that.) However, I care only about my own standards of beauty, and wish only to look what is my best - not anyone else's best. I don't believe there is any such thing as 'perfect' when it comes to physical aesthetics: I personally do not find models or film stars very attractive, as perhaps the author of the choices does.

[Guest KimmyRose]

None. Lol, I'm one of the lucky ones I suppose; I used to pass for female when in guy's clothes and had short hair.

[Guest amie]

None. Lol, I'm one of the lucky ones I suppose; I used to pass for female when in guy's clothes and had short hair.

Ultra Nice.

[Guest Emily.SoCal]

I'm pretty much living scenario I. That is, the part about losing family, friends and job. My family is distant because they know "something queer is going on" with me and I worry if I ever come out to them they'll spring some sort of "intervention" the next time I go to visit. My friends have disappeared one by one over the years and the only friend I have in my daily life is my recently separated ex-girlfriend who, quite frankly, is an intolerant, impatient b**** to me half the time. And the job? Well, I'm still digging myself out of years of agoraphobia and self-hatred and it's been a couple years since I've been able to hold down work.

And yet I still have hope. I'm going to school and I'm halfway through my program, I'm making a few friends, I'm sure I'll make a few more and, from there, I'll build a new family if I have to. And, make no mistake, I'm not a particularly strong person. This is all really hard, but you have to ask yourself, "what else is a girl going to do?"

I guess the point is, even if you're desperate -- and I do feel desperate a lot in my situation -- you can still own it and survive. I'm a beautiful and wonderful woman on the inside (and working on the outside!) and that's all that matters. And I hope you all feel the same. Don't ever give up hope.

[Guest J-Walker]

That last one was really trippy. Though my question for G is, how can joining a prostitution ring add 20 years to your lifespan? XP

Despite a lot of the horrors of most of these, I think B is the worst option. It's an evil we already know, and to suddenly change into that but of the opposite gender erases everything one would have aspired to achieve. A cool idea though, and I think it is also relates a lot to problems in our current society. Do you want to know the extent of every possible or potential problem in our lives?

[Guest Cait]

Wow. So Many Choices!!

I try to take what i have and go from there..tweaking things into to shape over time.

No point in spending time or money if you aren't happy being yourself.

In moments of "panic" I have gotten pretty worked up over Gender Issues.

( tried to "take myself out" with pills at age 21)

I try to preserve my mental health above anything I do---I ask myself If I

accept the choices I make in regards to persuing SRS.

(like how I have very different looking skin than before---looks bad with facial hair, too)

(cry all the time---over emotional feelings, although it is better than being MAD, i guess)

I fully accept I may not be entirely happy with results or the way people will react to me,

but I try to never do anything in Adjusting my Gender I can regret...

I feel pretty well prepared as to what my options are after having read of people who have started Transition

and then stopped then restarted and stopped.

That is why I continue on Hormones even on bad days as this is my over-all feeling of who I am.

I feel terrible for people who do change their minds...although I don't fully understand.

Removing their Breasts for example---when taking Hormones to have them!!!!

(not even calling a time out?)

I could see it if you wanted to be a Guy and were a Girl!!

Maybe changing Genders IS pretty over- whelming?

Just don't do anything you'll regret

and besides, it isn't that great being a Guy when at least half the time or more you don't even like it, and

the rest of the time you probably aren't even aware of any role your playing.

I do advise people to not have SRS or take HRT, but I did begin HRT because I felt i was going to go insane, and saw no

alternative approach for my problem.

(and drank way out of control and was not coming back to a stable way of life)

AND I don't think that is a Delusion because I see a Doctor, and he can't help me NOT feel this way.

It gets kind of old when they think you are an out an out FREAK, like I sometimes feel...but I only see them once a month to some only

seeing me once a Year. ("this is what you've always wanted", she said to me)

I admit that along with my Gender Indentity Disorder, I wrongly believe EVERYONE has it , and just can't admit it.

This is obviously not true, but it makes me laugh at night when I am going to bed!!!

Caitlin (it's super freaky)