One years honest sobriety

[Charlize]

Next Tuesday i have the opportunity to speak to my home group at our speakers meeting. My sponsee is leading the meeting and she has never heard my story except in short shares or as we worked together. It will have been a year since i sat down in front of this group as a woman. Before that they had only known Chuck for 5 years. Out came Charlie. There were only tears and no tomatoes. I wonder if i could ever have had the strength to be myself if not for the rooms of AA and the higher power that i found in those rooms. One year later it seems so natural but before that time the only 'straight' person who i had told was my sponsor and he didn't feel it was worth mentioning. ( I have a new sponsor).

When i sat down, no one who i hadn't told the week before, knew me and only a few people from a LGBT meeting i go to had seen me as a woman.

The honesty and vulnerability that i felt was amazing. I was and am closer to the folks there than i have been to anyone. Now a year later there are many who have only met Charlie. She will have a chance to tell her story and with my higher powers help i may help others to find a new freedom and happiness. As a trans alcoholic i have been blessed although it has taken me so much time to allow that knowledge into my life.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest JeepGirl90]

very cool! Best of luck to you with your speech

Hugs

Christina

[Carolyn Marie]

That's wonderful, Charlie. You are very lucky to have found such a welcoming and supportive place. I know so many who have found salvation and a new life through AA. Best of luck on your speech.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Michelle 2010]

What a gift it is to be ourselves in life huh? Had the lead at the lgbt meeting last night and tied it into the 3rd step since it is the beginning of March. I invited straight friends who knew me before to join us (open meeting). What a gift to be ok with who I am and have friends accept me as such. AA is wonderful, though being myself came with the need to trust God that all would be fine. That gave me the courage to come out... a relationship with a higher power I never had in my life.

Congratulations again on this incredible journey

Michelle

[Guest]

Charlie, that is so very wonderful! That is your sobriety, not his! High five girl! It is Tuesday, giggle, one day at a time.

You will be great! You and your Higher Power will just come pouring out of you, so no gitters. Take a breath and knock'em dead!

I'm dying to ask. Is your new sponsor female? By the time I came back to the program, all my boy issues were done. I had so much I needed to share and work through, I just could not comfortably share it with a man. It was all girl's club stuff anyway. Congrats on your day, you have a wonderful story, it will help someone, if not many.

Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest Guest_]

Charlie: I think Carylon's post is perfect. My dad was in AA for 33 years, and what a difference it made in all of our lives. Congradulations on celeberating your 1st honest birthday of sobriety. You Rock Girl!!!!! Love Amber L.

[JJ]

Congratulations Charlie

What you have done is the greatest gift you could have given yourself and those in your life.

There should be a word for something that goes way beyond plain congratulation.

Hugs

Johnny

[Charlize]

Well last week got put back to tonight. I was having pretty bad chest pain. I'm due to go to the hospital tomorrow for that. The leader (my sponsee) also has never heard my story and her grandfather had just died so she could not come.

Tonight a year after i came out to the group i will share my story again with all the changes that honesty has allowed. Amazing that i couldn't tell the truth about my drinking 6 years ago and now i can sit in front of a bunch of straight people and talk about not only my drinking history but how that relates to being honest about myself, transgendered and free of lies!

I don't know what i'll say. I've learned to just let go and let god put the words in my mouth. My HP has given me so much he will give to the others in the room if it is his will. It is no longer all about me. Others need to be honest if they want to grow spiritually.

I pray i can do this for them. I'm hoping to be of service. That being said i'm also concerned about looking as good as i can. I want to be pretty and attractive as i speak. My first sponsor wanted me to dress up for AA. I certainly do that now.

I'm so glad of this because it is right before a heart procedure and having had them in the past i know the sailing is often very rough for me. its a reminder of how little i am in control of my life. I am in my HP's hands.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Tamar]

Best wishes for everything Charlie hugs

[Guest Jamie_cd]

Congrats on being sober and good luck with your speech!

[Guest]

Well last week got put back to tonight. I was having pretty bad chest pain. I'm due to go to the hospital tomorrow for that. The leader (my sponsee) also has never heard my story and her grandfather had just died so she could not come.

Tonight a year after i came out to the group i will share my story again with all the changes that honesty has allowed. Amazing that i couldn't tell the truth about my drinking 6 years ago and now i can sit in front of a bunch of straight people and talk about not only my drinking history but how that relates to being honest about myself, transgendered and free of lies!

I don't know what i'll say. I've learned to just let go and let god put the words in my mouth. My HP has given me so much he will give to the others in the room if it is his will. It is no longer all about me. Others need to be honest if they want to grow spiritually.

I pray i can do this for them. I'm hoping to be of service. That being said i'm also concerned about looking as good as i can. I want to be pretty and attractive as i speak. My first sponsor wanted me to dress up for AA. I certainly do that now.

I'm so glad of this because it is right before a heart procedure and having had them in the past i know the sailing is often very rough for me. its a reminder of how little i am in control of my life. I am in my HP's hands.

Hugs,

Charlie

Psst... What's the update girl? 411 inquiring minds. Giggle. Hug. JodyAnn

[Charlize]

I'm sorry to have waited and forgotten to post the outcome. I sat up front as usual but had my cute young sponsee next to me. I didn't prepare and just tried to let it out. One tries to keep the subject on alcohol that is the problem we share in the rooms of AA.

I told my history of all male schools, boarding from an early age. My drug use and then the slow increase of the bottle as i started to do manual labor as a union laborer. Booze the relaxer. That grew as it does for so many until i was a heavy daily night drinker.

With an early retirement causes in part by heart disease came day long drinking. All through this there was dishonesty. I had hidden my desires to dress and be feminine all my life. I did my best to be manly but kept failing and learned to lie about everything. One lie easily led to the next until i was not sure of the truth about anything.

I told them about going to a women's AA meeting where the topic was honest about a year into being sober. Ouch i had to be and i was honest and was still embraced. I found an accepting world in AA but never went to meetings as a woman where people had known me as a man. I was always afraid and continued to lie.

Then i told them about how i had come out in this meeting one year ago and had finally found honesty and a new freedom one year ago. I had had 5 years in the program before i could let that go. Now with 6 years i'm a different person.

I shared about Laura's and how we help each other here as well. How we can't do it alone. We need a higher power whether that be the advice of our fellows or the spirit within and without.

I tried to be as honest as i could and was somewhat purged at the end when i told everyone that i was going into the hospital for a heart procedure the next day.

Hopefully i was able to help some others find a path to honesty and a higher power and away from alcohol.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest]

I'm sorry to have waited and forgotten to post the outcome. I sat up front as usual but had my cute young sponsee next to me. I didn't prepare and just tried to let it out. One tries to keep the subject on alcohol that is the problem we share in the rooms of AA.

I told my history of all male schools, boarding from an early age. My drug use and then the slow increase of the bottle as i started to do manual labor as a union laborer. Booze the relaxer. That grew as it does for so many until i was a heavy daily night drinker.

With an early retirement causes in part by heart disease came day long drinking. All through this there was dishonesty. I had hidden my desires to dress and be feminine all my life. I did my best to be manly but kept failing and learned to lie about everything. One lie easily led to the next until i was not sure of the truth about anything.

I told them about going to a women's AA meeting where the topic was honest about a year into being sober. Ouch i had to be and i was honest and was still embraced. I found an accepting world in AA but never went to meetings as a woman where people had known me as a man. I was always afraid and continued to lie.

Then i told them about how i had come out in this meeting one year ago and had finally found honesty and a new freedom one year ago. I had had 5 years in the program before i could let that go. Now with 6 years i'm a different person.

I shared about Laura's and how we help each other here as well. How we can't do it alone. We need a higher power whether that be the advice of our fellows or the spirit within and without.

I tried to be as honest as i could and was somewhat purged at the end when i told everyone that i was going into the hospital for a heart procedure the next day.

Hopefully i was able to help some others find a path to honesty and a higher power and away from alcohol.

Hugs,

Charlie

Yeah! Big teary hug for my AA sister. Keep doin' the deal, so we can watch you grow! Higher powered baby! JodyAnn

[Michelle 2010]

Hopefully i was able to help some others find a path to honesty and a higher power and away from alcohol.

Hugs,

Charlie

Yep, that about sums it up... and the only way to do it is to share our experience strength and hope, right? I was talking to a gal at the lgbt meeting who i saw there for the first time a couple weeks ago. i knew her from elsewhere and she did not know I was trans until that night. Its amazing how people listen when we discuss trusting god, getting honest and practicing the principles in all our affairs when we come out as trans. Its like nothing else that I know of. Turns out she was supporting a friend on anniversery night and isn't gay; however, later we talked about the journey into self acceptance and how it can be hard and perhaps scary. So now I have another new friend,one who trusts, respects and has shared her issues. Aa can be a marvelous thing when we get real

Michelle

[Guest JazzySmurf]

Hi Charlie, I just came upon this post, and I don't know much about AA and the like; but, I found your posts to be very inspirational :-) Congratulations on all that you've accomplished, and may you have even more wonders on your path. Go you!!!