What does Real Life Test test exactly?

[Guest RachelAnn]

That makes a lot of sense; stopping where you need to stop.

Were I single, I'd have done exactly what Lizzie did; just switched. And once my gender therapist told me at the first meeting that: A.) Yes, she felt I was most probably transsexual, and; B.) It wasn't my fault, I started switching over immediately. That's probably why the RLT conversation never really came up for me.

I'm probably about 60% toward full time, but because of life commitments, I'll probably never make it closer than 80-90%, though I hope for 100% as our kids get out of school and start their adult lives out of the house. Still... sons/daughters-in-law, grandchildren, inflexible friends and relatives... there will be time when I'll be the peacemaker and go out as "him". Comes with getting older, drat it all!

Rachel Ann

[Drea]

I've been thinking about this whole issue more, and I think I know more what's bugging me:

The process of treating transsexualism stems from a fear of letting someone end up inbetween genders. Perhaps it's done to protect patients since to some degree society fears the inbetween. Perhaps it's just rare that someone wouldn't want full transision. For me, I rather expect to end up inbetween to some degree. I don't feel passing is one of my goals... We'll see how that works for me, I guess. :/

I have not gotten this feeling at all. Most therapists should not have a vested interest in where you stop. It is their ethical responsibility to try to get you to a place or help you maintain mental health. Whatever form that manifests itself as, shouldn't factor for the most part.

I have to agree, from what I seen professionals aren't trying to keep people from between genders. That if anything they seek to help the client find stability with the least invasive interventions needed. Just like any other medical condition where they might try diet first, then medication if that doesnt' work and then stronger medication and finally surgery. Same thing applies. Some find relief in therapy alone. Others find relief in hormones. Still others find some level of part time sufficient while in more severe cases a full time role change is indicated and or surgery.

Where is do see the being the one gender or the other is in the way the community puts things into a "transition or not transition" dialog.

With the way some GT have moved more towards not providing therapy adopting a hands off approach checking off the boxes (being a gatekeeper rather than therapist) the community dialog of transition or not is tending to become more the case than what used to be a matter of finding the right level.

I seen some try and justify this transition or not dialog saying "transition" could be as much as just comming out to someone, but for most in the community transition means something more on the order of a full public gender role change. Maybe those stretching a definition that much do so to include themselves in the transition bandwagon.

There are of course lots of folks in the community that do see themselves as in the middle and live that way.

I personally prefer the idea of treatment and finding what is right. If that results in a complete public gender role transition that is great. I think putting the blinders on with a goal up front of "transitioning" before one has explored ones issues can cause one to miss important things that might lead to something more suitiable than some idealized image and chasing that greener looking grass.

[Guest LizMarie]

I don't view it as RLT (Test) at all. I prefer the acronym RLE (Real Life Experience) because, to me, that is what this is. It's an experience, a chance to experience life in your chosen gender before you've made a completely irreversible decision. Names can always be changed back but SRS is much more difficult to undo, if even possible in many cases.

I realize that not everyone chooses to undergo SRS but part of RLE is to help the patient be as sure as they can be about such decision, if they choose to go down that path. For those not choosing SRS but still doing a full social gender transition, RLE isn't RLE, is it? It's just the start of living in your chosen gender role. Without SRS, there is no subsequent requirement to meet since you will be out as your chosen gender at work and have completed the legal steps necessary to assume that role.

[Guest Georgette61]

My living this past couple of years as a female-to-be is probably the most rewarding experience I have had. I have made new friends, and I found who my true friends from the past are. (I have only lost about 5% of my old friends, but they have been replaced multiples by new ones!).

I do have one problem though when I need to resort back to being a male, When I work for a couple of my clients(mainly for safety reasons as they could care less what I do off-work) and my Mother. Being a student , I rely heavily on her and I am not permitted at her home when I am dressed in my wig or otherwise.Otherwise , I have a whole college town and the college welcome me with open arms and have even been invited to attend one of the churches. Living the RLT is not a problem for me. My only problem comes financially as to finding how to raise the money to transition. I do not know if the VA will do it or not.My doctor is seeing what she can do about it but the government is so slow on matters.

Good luck hannah on your wait and hopefully the transition goes smooth for you physically(as I believe that is your main concern)!

Goegette

[Guest rikkicd64]

RLT is a way of life for me now,I love it and consider myself a woman and I will never go back,it was the best decision I ever made.

Rikki.....

[Guest Kaylee234]

I was talking to a friend of mine just the other day about the whole Real-Life-Whatever thing. I just don't get what the big deal is. The only difference I can see between how I live my life now and some "official" RL thing would be me telling everyone at work to call me by my real name. Oh, and maybe being able to use the correct bathroom to pee.

I'm sure that my GT will hold me to a year-long thingy, but honestly I think the day I start that everyone I work with will be like "well, duh!"

I mean, today three girls I work with that I don't even really know came over to my desk and told me they want to hang out and go shopping with me. As in, this weekend. Being accepted by my actual peers is enough of a RL doomahicky for me to know that I'm doing ok.

~ Kay

[Guest]

I may be blessed because the issue never came up. I came in as a girl, dressed like a girl, acted natual, girl. We sat down and had a girl talk. I conveyed that I wanted to learn how to transition from a girl to a woman. I don't think she saw a need for me to dress and live as the other gender. I would have not made it anyway, I can't pretend to be a boy that long anymore. Giggle.

I think the RLT is mainly for those that are in hurry for Gender Reasignment Surgury. If you start on HRT, live in your appropriate gender. By the time you actually get nearer to the end of your puberty, you are really ready and all will be convinced that it is the right, best thing with no U-Turns. That's my $.02 More of us can live openly these days, and be understood somewhat better and accepted, so procedures gradually change. Hug. JodyAnn

PS- Turn those three girl friendships into thirty girl friendships, then into three hundred girl friendships, then three thousand girl friendships... Giggle. JA

[KathrynJulia]

Carolyn

Hit it dead center. I want to live full time and be happy doing so. Feeling for the first time in my life to be living as I genuinely feel inside. Having SRS is just the completion of surgery I tried doing myself at puberty because I hated having male genitalia. My reading showed me it was the cause of changes in my body thart I hated seeing. I wanted to see breasts instead of erections. I despised facial and body hair. I wanted to have the ability to have babies grow inside me and to be a mom someday. I can't become pregnant but I have had babies and I have been a mom as well as a dad, both wonderful experiences.

I'm having surgery this summer along with legal name change and beginning RLE when I return. People that I work with that know have been so wonderfully supportive and understanding and this is fuelling the increased dysphoria that I'm feeling because I am so ready for my life to change into the person that has been hiding inside for my whole life. I'm just surprised that I was able to keep it hidden for so long. Kathryn

[Guest Kaylee234]

Three thousand girl friendships? Yikes! My monkeysphere isn't nearly that big!

~ Kay

[VickySGV]

Three thousand girl friendships? Yikes! My monkeysphere isn't nearly that big!

~ Kay

More the point, I doubt your credit card would support all those shopping trips!! Talk about economic stimulation!!

[Guest Kaylee234]

Three thousand girl friendships? Yikes! My monkeysphere isn't nearly that big!

~ Kay

More the point, I doubt your credit card would support all those shopping trips!! Talk about economic stimulation!!

That is also a very good point! Plus, I'd have to move into a bigger place just to store all my clothes and shoes!

~ Kay