Hi, New Member Introduction

[Guest Angelino]

Hi, I have been a crossdresser for as long as I can remember, mainly wearing knickers, sometimes more when the mood takes me, but not to go outside the house. I told my wife about it after some 15 years of marriage and wish I hadn't. It seems to have made us both very unhappy and I have lost any self esteem I may have had. I joined this site not only for me, but also to help my wife in the hope that she could talk to other wives in the same situation. I guess there are some people out there like me who recognise my situation and have advice for me. I would dearly love to help my wife and to gain some small amount of self esteem for myself. I have no wish to dampen anyones day, just to hear from other cross dressers I'm sure would help. Part of me wishes it would stop and another part of me can't stop it. This is my 1st attempt at a forum.

[MaryEllen]

Hello Angelino,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Don't be afraid to ask questions. We're here to help. You could ask your wife to look the forums over so she can see that we're not a bunch of perverts. You shouldn't be ashamed that you like to crossdress. It's not your fault. It's something you were born with and even though you wish it would go away at times, it won't. There is a wealth of information on here about crossdressing and transgenderism and if your wife was aware of this it might make your plight a little easier. Don't let the forums intimidate you. We'll give you all the help, support and information that we can.

MaryEllen

[Sally]

Welcome,

You couldn't have come to a better forum to find information, get support and feel comfortable.

I am not a cross dresser, as you can see I have a little more need to transition, but we have quite a few cross dressers her and some of their SOs are on line with them as well. Some of them should be along in just a little while.

We consider this to be a friendly, family atmosphere so feel free to ask questions, go to the cross dressers forums, we have them divided to make it easier for each of us to find the information that most applies to us. However, you can visit any forum and answer posts - you, like myself, are too old to start a topic in the teens section, but you can offer advice.

It is at this point that I usually roll out our virtual refreshment cart and urge you to take a comfy chair by the fire and have some hot coco and a few cookies, virtual food is always the right temperature, freshly baked and has no calories and I have a fresh batch of oatmeal cookies today.

Some people think that it is terribly silly, but most people see it as a warm welcome and a sign that you aren't going to be bombarded with statistics and data - we have that if you want it.

Welcome and make yourself at home, we are glad that you have found our little corner of paradise.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

WELCOME -WELCOME-WELCOME

I understand your frustration and need for talking to others. I have been here at Laura's for about three months and it is a wonderful and a safe site. I am actually transgender but assumed I was a crossdresser for 50 years. It is one of those conditions you can learn more about on this site.

The true deal is something like this (really simplified - sorry - don't take it as exact) You have a need to express your feminine side. You are statistically going to be heterosexual big time. Yours is a situation of gender identification not sexual preference. It is not your fault and may be a result of many things, one thought links cd with a defect in a hormonal balance before you were born. But the problem is cross dressing is not really possible to stop, in spite of all your efforts. It is an interesting situation and it seems your happiness and resolution lies in having a bit of therapy to verify you are a cross dresser - and there are no other conditions present - and then being given options an how to be happy with yourself. It will also include your spouse.

Soon a few others will come in to greet you - some will offer cookies and coco - they mean well, but the food is virtual (don't tell) and won't feed you at all - so don't cancel your next dinner date. HA!

[sally - its NOT silly- it's wonderful - someone has to laugh about it - devil's advocate and all - hee hee]

Lizzy

[Guest Ashlee]

Welcome Angelino,

Have I been in your shoes...

I truly know what you are going through right now. I've been there, and it can be painful, difficult and hard on you, your wife, your family and your relationships. One positive that you have is that you told your wife about it instead of her catching you at it. Thats what happened to me and believe me, if I could go back, I would much rather have just told her about it and came out about my crossdressing in a more controled manner.

Just being here and telling your story will bring some relief, it has helped me. Kinda like "Hey world, this is me, its the way I am and I'm here to get the help and encouragement I need to deal with my life."

Keep your wife informed, do some research, show her that its a part of you that you had really no control over.

Always tell her you love her and that you want to be with only her.

Peace,

Ashlee

[Guest Irielle]

Hi Angelino! I am glad you and your wife have joined us. I'm not exactly a crossdresser - I have more going on and I wear girl's clothes and boy's clothes interchangably and usually at the same time, it depends upon my mood. I know there are some CDs here and they will be along soon, especially when there are cookies involved!

Please don't ever, ever beat yourself up for being a crossdresser or think there is something wrong with you. Crossdressing is an expression of you and of your humanity and MaryEllen is so right, it will not go away, so embrace it and happiness will follow. If you listen to the naysayers you'll have low self esteem. Listen to your heart; it will always tell you the truth. Best wishes for you and your wife on your new journey - may it bring you both a lifetime of happiness!

Irielle

[Guest Kelly Ann]

Hi Angelino...definately read through things here, together if possible. There's so much that can help you both...a sense of the absurd helps as well. There's no crime involved here and it's always made me smile and giggle, sweetness and light so to speak. It has never ceased to amaze me at how unglued people become over a guy in a dress or even a little further in their presentation. Yet it is these very same people that laugh at Benny Hill, Monty Python and yep...remember THIS ONE...Milton Berle...yep Uncle Miltie. One toe into the water at a time...you'll find the waters just fine eventually, Kelly Ann

[Guest Zabrak]

Hey, Angelino, welcome to Laura's Playground. You'll enjoy you first time on a forum - this is a great place to do it.

[Guest Jillian]

Angelino

Welcome to Laura's Playground

I am not a crossdresser but in many ways I can relate to your situation. About 3 months ago I told my wife of 2 years that I was a transgendered MTF at first she was not very accepting but she did not totaly reject me. since that time we have talked and she has even helped me build up my wardrobe. The one thing she has asked me to do is to take it slow. I know its hard to not try and make up for lost time for all the years you have kept this hidden from her and others I know it is for me but I know in the end if i am able to take it slow as my wife has asked me to then I will be much happier then if I lose her in the process.

Jillian

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Angelino

Welcome to Laura's Playground

I am not a crossdresser but in many ways I can relate to your situation. About 3 months ago I told my wife of 2 years that I was a transgendered MTF at first she was not very accepting but she did not totaly reject me. since that time we have talked and she has even helped me build up my wardrobe. The one thing she has asked me to do is to take it slow. I know its hard to not try and make up for lost time for all the years you have kept this hidden from her and others I know it is for me but I know in the end if i am able to take it slow as my wife has asked me to then I will be much happier then if I lose her in the process.

Jillian

JULLIAN - you are posting! Wow - so great. Hey - we both are in the same place with our wives. About three months ago I told my wife of 10 years I was transsexual MTF. She was very upset and I almost lost her. Then she began to accept me. Now she is suppoertive but made me PROMISE to take it slow. OMG that is so difficult for us... I work more with my therapist on my relationship with my wife, than I do on my TS. I would be devastated if I lost her. It can still happen, but I hope it doesn't.

We need you here posting because many people are in the same place we are. Cross dressers included.

Angelino - hi - see how wonderful this site can be? We need you here too - please keep posting?

Elizabeth

[Guest mia 1]

As we say Welcome to the world of "Hey I a'm here and how come it's me the gods picked on.

Angelino we have all gone through the same denial, purging, and rushing back to the women's dep't looking for more clothes. It is what it is don't try to fight it or deny it that doesn't work and as one of our dear sister's has said."We are gender gifted." So welcome to the forum and together we will work out our beautiful gift....... Welcoming Hugs,,,,,,,,,,,Mia.

[Guest Angelino]

Hi, I have been a crossdresser for as long as I can remember, mainly wearing knickers, sometimes more when the mood takes me, but not to go outside the house. I told my wife about it after some 15 years of marriage and wish I hadn't. It seems to have made us both very unhappy and I have lost any self esteem I may have had. I joined this site not only for me, but also to help my wife in the hope that she could talk to other wives in the same situation. I guess there are some people out there like me who recognise my situation and have advice for me. I would dearly love to help my wife and to gain some small amount of self esteem for myself. I have no wish to dampen anyones day, just to hear from other cross dressers I'm sure would help. Part of me wishes it would stop and another part of me can't stop it. This is my 1st attempt at a forum.

Just to say thank you, I feel I'm talking to people who understand. I read your replies and it has helped, now I'll try and help my wife and support her with this, it must have been a big shock for her as I hid it well. She has known about it now for approx. 2 years, they have certainly been the worst 2 years I can remember and I suspect for her as well!!!I think it's going to take some time .....

[Sally]

Yes it will take time, but it is time well spent.- you have known forever. She has only had 2 years, but that is in your favor - she has stayed for those two years, she must really want to stay with you and is trying. You just have to rememebr that marriage is built on compromise from both sides. Be willing to give in on small points and be sure that your wardrobe never gets larger or nicer than hers.

Try to keep a sense of perspective and a sense of humor.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Angelino]

Hello Angelino,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Don't be afraid to ask questions. We're here to help. You could ask your wife to look the forums over so she can see that we're not a bunch of perverts. You shouldn't be ashamed that you like to crossdress. It's not your fault. It's something you were born with and even though you wish it would go away at times, it won't. There is a wealth of information on here about crossdressing and transgenderism and if your wife was aware of this it might make your plight a little easier. Don't let the forums intimidate you. We'll give you all the help, support and information that we can.

MaryEllen

Thank you for your help, I've been looking around the forums for my wife, there are so many, is there one you would recommend which would help her to cope?

[Guest Angelino]

Angelino

Welcome to Laura's Playground

I am not a crossdresser but in many ways I can relate to your situation. About 3 months ago I told my wife of 2 years that I was a transgendered MTF at first she was not very accepting but she did not totaly reject me. since that time we have talked and she has even helped me build up my wardrobe. The one thing she has asked me to do is to take it slow. I know its hard to not try and make up for lost time for all the years you have kept this hidden from her and others I know it is for me but I know in the end if i am able to take it slow as my wife has asked me to then I will be much happier then if I lose her in the process.

Jillian

When you talked to your wife did it create arguments which didn't appear to have a solution. My wife tells me how much she hates it, and yet I can't stop it - the catch is, I couldn't never leave her. In every other aspect of our lives we are very close.

[Guest Angelino]

Hi Angelino! I am glad you and your wife have joined us. I'm not exactly a crossdresser - I have more going on and I wear girl's clothes and boy's clothes interchangably and usually at the same time, it depends upon my mood. I know there are some CDs here and they will be along soon, especially when there are cookies involved!

Please don't ever, ever beat yourself up for being a crossdresser or think there is something wrong with you. Crossdressing is an expression of you and of your humanity and MaryEllen is so right, it will not go away, so embrace it and happiness will follow. If you listen to the naysayers you'll have low self esteem. Listen to your heart; it will always tell you the truth. Best wishes for you and your wife on your new journey - may it bring you both a lifetime of happiness!

Irielle

Thank you for your reply. I have yet to fully accept me myself. Part of my brain still fights it and has done all my life. When I give in though, I don't feel at war with myself and do get some peace - then gradually the fight with myself starts all over again and is part of this never ending cycle. I have welcomed your response and there is a lot of good sense there - I wish I could tell my brain that...

[Guest Angelino]

Hi Angelino...definately read through things here, together if possible. There's so much that can help you both...a sense of the absurd helps as well. There's no crime involved here and it's always made me smile and giggle, sweetness and light so to speak. It has never ceased to amaze me at how unglued people become over a guy in a dress or even a little further in their presentation. Yet it is these very same people that laugh at Benny Hill, Monty Python and yep...remember THIS ONE...Milton Berle...yep Uncle Miltie. One toe into the water at a time...you'll find the waters just fine eventually, Kelly Ann

I always used to enjoy those shows, although I never saw 'Milton Berle', I always enjoyed shows that showed any aspect of crossdressing in a humurous light, I think it made me feel lighter about myself. We had a show called the 'penis Emery' show, which covered these topics in a fun way. Always made me feel good about myself which is why I would watch them - and then have a good laugh!

Thank you for your reply

[Guest Irielle]

Thank you for your reply. I have yet to fully accept me myself. Part of my brain still fights it and has done all my life. When I give in though, I don't feel at war with myself and do get some peace - then gradually the fight with myself starts all over again and is part of this never ending cycle. I have welcomed your response and there is a lot of good sense there - I wish I could tell my brain that...

Angelino - You are so on the mark. Your brain fights because it goes against your training and what you have been taught iabout what is normal and abnormal. What you call 'giving in' I call following your heart and that is when the war is over and you are at peace. Be gentle with yourself, go slowly, follow your heart and your brain will follow.

[Guest Ashlee]

Just to say thank you, I feel I'm talking to people who understand. I read your replies and it has helped, now I'll try and help my wife and support her with this, it must have been a big shock for her as I hid it well. She has known about it now for approx. 2 years, they have certainly been the worst 2 years I can remember and I suspect for her as well!!!I think it's going to take some time .....

Hey Angelino,

Yes, you need to support her as much as possible, and do go slow. Like Sally said, you have dealt with this for your whole life, shes only had 2 years. It will take her some time to adjust to it. Better to let her adjust at her pace than to push her along.

When you talked to your wife did it create arguments which didn't appear to have a solution. My wife tells me how much she hates it, and yet I can't stop it - the catch is, I couldn't never leave her. In every other aspect of our lives we are very close.

When my wife found out about me, almost every discussion we had for awhile was one that didn't have any solution. I hate not having a problem solved. I gave in on some things, got therapy, and here I am. I too never want to leave my wonderful wife.

Thank you for your reply. I have yet to fully accept me myself. Part of my brain still fights it and has done all my life. When I give in though, I don't feel at war with myself and do get some peace - then gradually the fight with myself starts all over again and is part of this never ending cycle. I have welcomed your response and there is a lot of good sense there - I wish I could tell my brain that...

My brain has done that too. "I want to CD - No, I don't" back and forth, back and forth... I too get that peace you mention when I CD. I get to feel "whole" again and my stress level gets back in check. Coming here to Lauras helps alot too!

Angelino - You are so on the mark. Your brain fights because it goes against your training and what you have been taught iabout what is normal and abnormal. What you call 'giving in' I call following your heart and that is when the war is over and you are at peace. Be gentle with yourself, go slowly, follow your heart and your brain will follow.

Irielle - you hit it on the mark here!

Angelino, just follow your heart and be at peace with where it guides you!

Peace,

Ashlee

[Guest Jillian]

Angelino

Yes it did create some arguements but none that couldnt be worked out. I had one advantage in that my wife is a nurse and I guess that helped her in understanding. We still get into arguements about things but not as much since I started takeing her to differnt web sites and she started learning about what I had been going through all my life. It helps to talk and to share ideas to include her in plans both for the present and the future. I hope I helped answer your question feel free to ask me anything and I will try to answer as best I can.

Jillian