So I went for my first run today... as a girl

[Guest sPAZAttack]

Ok, so I just wanted to make a quick post about what I did yesterday. It was very daring. Late at night I got fed up of just being by myself in my room, crossdressing is fun by yourself but I have literally been busting to go outside in my new clothes. I put on my joggers, three quarter pants and sports top that I have. I put a large pair of jeans on over my shapewear and a jacket over my bra and top and headed outside. Got in the car and drove to a nearby park. Wig on, breastforms on, male clothes off- yay! I slowly convinced myself to get out of the car.

I can't say I've really felt a feeling like this. It was arousing and exciting at the same time. I first ran past a man on the footpath without him saying a word. I was ecstatic. My heart was racing as I tried to make my running more feminine. I ran past several people that night, and slowly wound up crossing a main road too. I walked around for a very long time just thinking. This was my first experience in society as a female and I was loving it, and this was only really a small step. Next I drove around for a while in the city. Plenty of people saw me I would think but no double takes or anything, this is good. I think most people just keep to themselves. I got out of the car one more time and went for a walk near a pub, outside I saw some toilets. It was a monday night so it was pretty much dead quiet. I wanted to use the ladies so bad, I almost went in.It's just something I've always wanted to do. I probably could have done it, but the thought of being caught was scary. I don't want that in the newspapers or on my record.

It was intensely sexual, but I was out for hours and still enjoying it. I was just in disbelief that I could see my feminine shadow on the footpath, I never thought I would see that day. I certainly felt happiness for being mistaken as a woman, filling their role in society. Anyway, spent a while tossing up on my car whether the drive to do this is merely sexual. It certainly is very sexual. Still can't decide what do you think?

[Guest JazzySmurf]

Gosh, it could one of many things... a few years back, my "cross-dressing" was vaguely/weirdly sexual for me too. What made me decide it was more, was that there was an underlying desire to actually live as a woman (as well as the associated unhappiness of having to present as a boy). This would definitely be a good topic to chat with your therapist about...

[Carolyn Marie]

There are many cross dressers who get those kinds of feelings from dressing, and it doesn't seem to matter if its sweats, a miniskirt, or just a pair of nylons. If it makes you feel good, and makes you happy, then that's all that matters. I hope it isn't long before your next adventure.

HUGS

Carolyn marie

[Guest]

Hi Honey,

Congratulations on a day out! I do hope to get out my sweats for a run one of these days too...

When I first started dressing, there was a sexual component to it - call it excitement or something. But, I never dressed for the sex, in fact, I was trying to get away from that.

So, to answer your question: Perhaps try repeating the same thing again and again. You will know whether it was just the excitement of that first time, or is it continuing?

Either way, do enjoy yourself!

Love, Megan

[Guest]

I agree, many years ago for me, it was sexually arousing. Then it just became very sentual. Then it became comfortable. Then somehow I could not let go of the nagging feeling of where I wanted to be. Wow! That sure was a long time back. I hope you don't wait that long to discover you can live who you really are. Giggle. Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest sPAZAttack]

I agree, many years ago for me, it was sexually arousing. Then it just became very sentual. Then it became comfortable.

Thanks Jodie, I've been crossdressing a lot now and it doesn't just seem to be anymore. Perhaps there is more to it as there was to your case. I'm interested to see how many crossdressers become transexual. It's very possible I might be on that road.

When I first started dressing, there was a sexual component to it - call it excitement or something. But, I never dressed for the sex, in fact, I was trying to get away from that.

So, to answer your question: Perhaps try repeating the same thing again and again. You will know whether it was just the excitement of that first time, or is it continuing?

This is a good idea. I thought about that last night. Maybe I'm trying to up the ante to increase my sexual thrills? I definitely will go out again. Maybe in a dress next time I think..,, To insanely awesome not to.

There are many cross dressers who get those kinds of feelings from dressing, and it doesn't seem to matter if its sweats, a miniskirt, or just a pair of nylons.

My wardrobe might be a little to flamboyant, I need to shop for more traditional stuff. However, I think I get excited about being seen or treated as a girl rather than just the clothes in this context.

What made me decide it was more, was that there was an underlying desire to actually live as a woman (as well as the associated unhappiness of having to present as a boy). This would definitely be a good topic to chat with your therapist about...

Yes, I am busting at the seams to talk to my therapist now! I really enjoy being seen as a woman, and feel I would be more comfortable going out in the real world if I could than in my masculine role. Thanks for your input =D

[Guest Kaylee234]

Personally, cross dressing has never been a sexual thing for me. It's always been more relaxing and comforting. I suppose I can understand the feeling of excitement going out en femme though.

~ Kay

[Guest KimberlyF]

Wearing female clothes always triggered me and made me feel worse about my body. I never 'felt' female or male based on what I wore.

[JenniferB]

Crossdressing was exciting when I was young. I used to sneak up in the attic to try on my sister's clothes.

The first time I went out in public dressed as a woman, I had the same reaction. I was supposed to meet a couple trans women in the thrift store. It took me about 10-15 minutes to gain the courage required to get out of the car and enter the store. The anxiety is far worse than the actual experience. It was a totally non-issue.

Over time things reversed in a way. I could never go out dressed as a man without feeling very awkward.

{{{Hugs}}}

Jenny

[VickySGV]

The danger element we see in being out as female can be VERY stimulating and erotic. Danger and threat are the root of some other sexual fetishes too, some life threatening in the extreme. A person I know actually relishes being "read", found out, and yes, even threatened for "His" (their preference of pronoun) behaviors, and finds it addicting and sexually stimulating. So the danger element can be a charge for some of us. Once the danger and its stimulation wear off and being out is comfortable and natural, we can get other "highs" that leave the sexual arena, and enter the simply social part of being feminine. I am relaxed and at home with my body as female, a feeling I never really had before as male.

If the need for the danger situations increases or escalates in a cross dressing person, then they truly need some psychological help, and not in the pure sense of Gender Therapy. They are the fetishists who are too far into things, and may have what is called a process addiction to the danger, not the clothing.

[Guest sophia.gentry58]

I believe that for many of us we do feel that sexual arousal when first trying on female clothes, especially when first going out in public. Once being sexually aroused wanes then you can begin to appreciate a wholly different kind of feeling that in my opinion overshadows the sexual excitement by ten-fold. I cannot completely articulate what I am actually feeling except to say it is deep within me, brings a sense of peace and well-being and akin to being "high", probably those endorphines kicking in big time.

As for being able to go to the female bathroom, I have used the female bathroom on multiple occasions at two of the gay bars I frequent and once when visiting iHOP late at night for early breakfast after leaving the gay club. I get such a high out of it because the cis ladies treat me as one of them when they can obviously see from the masculine face that I am not one of them as far as my face appears. There is just something to being around other females who except you as one of them that sends goose bumps throughout my body.

Sophia

[Guest sPAZAttack]

Over time things reversed in a way. I could never go out dressed as a man without feeling very awkward.

I feel that this is sort of happening to me. I can still function as a male, but would just love to go about living my life as a male. Before counseling I was suffering from pretty severe anxiety just from leaving my room dressed as a male. I really struggled to do it. It is sort of like a fight just to take off my 'normal clothes' and don the male ones. =(

Wearing female clothes always triggered me and made me feel worse about my body. I never 'felt' female or male based on what I wore.

It's not just the clothes now I feel, clothes have always aroused me and I have always thought of how it would be to wear garments I see girls wearing, I get pretty jealous. I suppose it's a means to an end, the clothes help me show my identity externally. Passing or even walking about en femme confirm my femininity, well, in my head anyway!

If the need for the danger situations increases or escalates in a cross dressing person, then they truly need some psychological help, and not in the pure sense of Gender Therapy. They are the fetishists who are too far into things, and may have what is called a process addiction to the danger, not the clothing.

Uh oh. I really wanted to go into the convenience store, regardless of if I passed. I suppose it's the risk thing, did it last night again and tried to avoid groups of men for that sort of danger. However, I feel more relaxed and less anxious- a different sort of high dressed alone in my room. Dressed up right now typing and it's a bright sort of feeling at the back of my head is what it feels like.

I believe that for many of us we do feel that sexual arousal when first trying on female clothes, especially when first going out in public. Once being sexually aroused wanes then you can begin to appreciate a wholly different kind of feeling that in my opinion overshadows the sexual excitement by ten-fold. I cannot completely articulate what I am actually feeling except to say it is deep within me, brings a sense of peace and well-being and akin to being "high", probably those endorphines kicking in big time.

There is just something to being around other females who except you as one of them that sends goose bumps throughout my body.

Yes! This is similar to how I feel. I want to be part of accepted as part of the female crowd. Even walking dressed around makes me feel that a little, which is why I think I like it. I went for a walk again and it was less 'arousing' than last time, which seems to be a good sign. I'll keep doing it when I can to try and better understand how I feel.

[Guest Amber Lynn]

Jess, I can tell you that my experience definitely echoes yours in some ways. I started out considering myself a crossdresser, and once I was actually dressed, it almost always became a purely sexual experience. Over time it calmed just a little, to where I would be dressed for a while for more of a "high" for than anything, but then, as I wanted to push myself further and further into the feminine, it would still often end up culminating in sexual fantasy. As I got nearer to the point in my life where I would start seriously questioning my gender identity (and up until now), my dressing would actually rarely lead to sexual fantasy. Still, there's still very commonly just a hint of excitement underneath the surface when I dress...

Although by this time I considered myself transgender (though precisely what level is still a toss up), the possibility that this was all just a sexual thing worried me a lot. My GT's advice (to me, anyway) is to dress more often, to explore how much it means to me and WHAT it means to me. I'm currently doing this as much as is possible in my current living situation, and I'm taking steps in my life that will hopefully allow me to do it more, maybe eventually in public.

I've been finding that an initial strong sexual component is common among transgendered people. Our sexuality is always going to be facet of our personality, and that doesn't necessarily mean that it's the driving force. The only way to figure out how it fits in to your needs is to do exactly what you're doing: exploration being a woman.

Regarding your outing: I'm totally jealous and proud of you! I've been wanting to do very much the same thing for a while now, but haven't worked up the courage or found a good spot to do so (and I have these cute yoga pants just for the occasion!). I hope you're able to have more outings like that in the future!

Hugs,

Gina

[Guest sPAZAttack]

I've been finding that an initial strong sexual component is common among transgendered people. Our sexuality is always going to be facet of our personality, and that doesn't necessarily mean that it's the driving force. The only way to figure out how it fits in to your needs is to do exactly what you're doing: exploration being a woman.

Regarding your outing: I'm totally jealous and proud of you! I've been wanting to do very much the same thing for a while now, but haven't worked up the courage or found a good spot to do so (and I have these cute yoga pants just for the occasion!). I hope you're able to have more outings like that in the future!

Hugs,

Gina

Hi Gina, oh my god, how great are yoga pants! I love them. I have probably been a bit to careless with the dressing in public, had a visit to uni the other night too. Monday night in the dark is a pretty good way to start, you barely see anyone out. I just had a look at your profile and we are indeed very similar. I spend more and more time as the 'female me' than male me. Being a woman is somehow attached to my sexuality in some way, sort of in that ultimate fantasy way. Still confused as to what I want in that respect, but I like to think of myself as a girl in intimate situations I guess.

Jess