Ugh, Not Again

[Guest JustinLucas]

alright, i have to admit, i haven't actually read any of the posts in this part of the forum. I probably should have, and i certainly will, but right now, i'ts late at night, i have to be up in 5 or so hours for work and I've just got a lot on my mind. During college (in 2003) i developed quite an eating disorder. I lost 60 pounds in a short amount of time. it started out as just changing my diet to eliminate extra sugar. and then i cut out all sugar (including fruits) and then carbs, and then fat, and then calories, until i was eating nothing for days at a time. I didn't realize how out of control i had gotten until my hair started falling out, i got terrible dizzy spells, and my insomnia worsened to the point of hallucinations.

I began eating normally again, which took time. but i 'recovered'. of course over time, i gained lots and lots of weight back. and i was relatively ok with that. until i began binge eating and then eating like 6 full meals a day.

Recently, at work, we have been doing a 'biggest loser' competition (like the TV show) and during the first week i was quite sick with bronchitis which happened to decrease my appettite quite a lot. Well, i got better, but i conveniently had 'trained' myself to not eat as much. That seemed to be a good thing at first, as i really do need to lose about 50 pounds, but it's become clear that my over restrictive tendencies are taking over. in the last 2 weeks my first meal is at noon and consist of an apple. dinner slightly varies but is typically something like a can of spinach or mixed veggies. As far as i'm concerned this isn't bad yet. but i know the direction it's going. I've started exercising in the last 2 days. That's a good thing as well, but if my eating habits continue to deteriorate (as i predict) then i'm worried.

My exercise may trail off... it may continue at a normal rate, or it may get out of control like last time. No food and too much exercise is SO not good.

So i wonder why i'm posting this all, at 1am... when i should be sleeping. And since i know what will happen if i continue this way... i've been here before, i know it's bad... but, i'm not sure how to stop myself. and honestly, i don't remember what stopped me last time. I know that the medical issues certainly snapped me out of it a bit... but it didn't 'cure' me. so... uh... i dunno. just wanted to get that all out i supposed.

thanks for reading.

-justin

[Sally]

We should trade problems for a couple of weeks.

Here is my advice, think about how you got things done in college and at work. You made a schedule!

Make an eating schedule - I will too, let's start tomorrow morning!

Set a time and a menu for breakfast and eat it!

Set a time and a menu for lunch and eat it!

Set a time and a menu for dinner and eat it!

Write down what you eat each day and make sure that it is enough.

I will do the same thing and cut out the extra servings and the snacks - we can help each other stay healthy.

If you don't want to admit to how well you did or not, we can compare or progress over the PMs.

Are we going to help each other? I hope so.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest JustinLucas]

As an after thought, i figured i should mention, that i sometimes replace food with alcohol, which is rather self defeating considering the amount of calories most alcohol has and the fact it processes as sugar. but that is how i developed my drinking issues... becuz i didn't want to eat. i still do not consider myself an alcoholic really... but i'd say i have a drinking problem. i've gone weeks without drinking, or drinking just on the weekends, but once these food issues came up, i've found myself wanting to drink more.... just throwing that in there.

[Guest JustinLucas]

sally, i still haven't gotten the hang of forums really and PMs and such. I THINK i PMed you, but who knows. lol you'd think after a year and being a chat mod that i'd have it figured out... sigh. anyway... i don't snack, which many ppl admire me for, but the problem there is that, if i get the least bit hungry, i crave real food. like protein. I want like meat and potatoes kind of things. which is why i ended up eating close to 6 meals a day and gained a ton of weight. i'm not too interested in sweets or chips or crackers etc. if i want food i want a burger, or pizza, or pork chops you know? dunno if that's weird or not. I'm def willing to accept any help/suggestions you have. and i hope you got the messege that i THINK i sent you lol talk to you soon hopefully.

-justin

[Guest Huff]

hey justin-

yeah... I can relate totally. I used alcohol to replace food sometimes too. Basically, it shut off my hunger mechanism, so it would stop my food binges. I think it works that way exactly because it processes as sugar.

Anyway, in terms of suggestion, I make a food plan the night before - complete with types of food and quantities. That way I know I'm going to eat an appropriate amount and get good nutrition... provided, of course, that I follow the food plan (which I stray or binge or graze off of at least two or three times a week). I email my food plan to someone (my OA sponsor, actually... but any understanding friend could work) everynight and include any deviations I made in following the plan I made for the current day. He'll write back and say things like "sounds like peanut butter is a problem for you, maybe you should NOT eat it" and I'll go "yeah, no s**t..."

Mike

[Guest JoanDS]

Hey, everyone.

I saw this thread and just wanted to add my own experience.

I have gone from 350 to 280 in about 3 years, which I know isn't very fast, but it seems to be sustainable, and one of the key things I have found is that you CANNOT starve yourself, or you will bounce back hard, just like was described. My target weight for my height and build (5'11", and somewhat broad at the shoulders) is around 235 (never mind what that horrible chart at the doctor's says, when I last weighed 235, I was fit as heck, and a green-belt in kenpo). I am obviously still pretty overweight, and am no paragon of fitness, nor am I a nutritionist, but losing 70 pounds is still losing 70 pounds, so I figured I'd share my technique

Lots of water is key, before, during and after eating. It's good for your energy and digestion too. You should always drink enough water to turn whatever you've eaten into soup in your stomach. (I drink 3-5 liters/day) And sugar-water drinks have to go. Personally, I avoid even diet soft-drinks because the artificial-sweeteners can mess with your blood-sugar and appetite and make you artificially hungry (something to do with your body expecting sugar, but not getting any puts it into a hungry-mode).

I also find this method tremendously helpful: eat around 300-500 calories every 3-4 hours.

Example:

8:00AM two English muffins w/ peanut butter (Around 350 calories)

11:00AM Can of minestrone soup w/ a glass of skim milk (around 350 calories, plus, calcium is necessary to burn fat)

2:00PM big handful of trailmix (200-300 calories)

6:00PM Lean-cuisine frozen dinner (450 calories)

10:00PM Two mallowmars and a cup of skim milk (350 calories)

1800 calories, no feelings of hunger throughout the day, no feeling that you've deprived yourself or that you are in prison, you've gotten your fiber, protein, calcium, and a treat at the end of the day. Also, you keep your body from going into starvation-mode (which makes you store everything you do eat as fat) and if you have blood-sugar problems you keep your sugar pretty level (in this case replace mallowmars with something else). Also, this leaves you room to put a little sugar and cream in your coffee, or have some other little indulgence from time-to time without guilt.

Like I said, I'm not losing 2lbs a week or anything, more like a 1/2lb. But I'm not killing myself mentally, physically or emotionally, and I'm more than half-way to my goal.

I recently realized that I had been overeating for many years partially to keep my inner girl hidden and to deprive her a chance of being attractive, if I kept myself un-attractive, I think I felt that she would be less likely to come out. I also pack all of my weight directly into my belly. I have a big fat gut, but a tiny little bum, (makes sitting UNCOMFORTABLE) skinny, muscular legs, and even my chest is not that fat, but I have a pot-belly like you read about. This weight distribution is so un-feminine (pregnancy excepted) that i think I used it as a weapon against myself ("See, you CAN'T be a woman, no amount of surgery will make you feminine with THAT body.) The fact is, I have great legs, a cute tush, etc. If I lose the gut, I WILL be attractive (FWIW). Well, as of now, I'm done with that self-war. Maybe this new attitude will help me get the exercise component working, I have been failing miserably at that half of the equation.

I hope this helps someone

-Joan

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[Guest JustinLucas]

Thanks so much for that advice. I've known about most of those things, the problem is getting myself to do it and follow through. But, i'm working on it