Hello Everyone..

[Guest Meredith]

Hello,

My "femme" name is Meredith. I've been crossdressing since I was about 8, knowing that something was different about me. I'm married, and have two boys. My wife doesn't exactly approve of my need to crossdress. I'm here looking for answers and support. I don't know if I'll be ok to just continue crossdressing or to go to the next step and embrace my femmine side fully. The number one thing that confuses me right now is I'm a Christian and I know what the bible says, and I know what other Christians say. But if any thing it makes me more confused, because what I do feels sssoo right.

So I'm a Crossdressing/Transgender Christian who likes video games, movies, fashion, clothing, cars, fabrics, and star wars. And my name is Meredith.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Well, Good morning, Meredith!

Nice to meet you.

Why don't you sit over here while I get you some hot coco and a plate of cookies....

It's nice and warm in here and very friendly! You'll meet lots of like minded people who will help and share so enjoy your coco and get comfortable.

I know that you have a lot of confussion about your self and how you feel...

Get snug.................

The other girls and guys will be along soon...

Welcome to the Playground!

XXOO

Donna Jean

[Guest Zabrak]

Hey, Meredith! I like Star Wars too!

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

[Sally]

Dear Meredith,

I want to start off by saying welcome and to add to what Donna Jean has said, this is a family type place, like home.

I am also a Christian and I am very aware of how so many use the Bible and religion as a way to prove that they are right and you are most assuredly wrong. They use the text that back them up and over look some of the most important and basic teachings of Jesus.

Think about it when they begin to tell you how wrong you are - "Judge not least ye be judged" - does that sound familiar? How about, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." and, "Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone." Those are all quotes from Jesus, he didn't ask any questions about anything when healing the sick - lepars were not very populr, he helped different races and had among his followers, taxmen and prostitutes - he lived what he preached, but others find that all so difficult that they just pick and choose.

That's enough preaching for now - feel good about yourself, you are not doing anything wrong.

You are being made to feel quilty by what my sister terms the Christian Wrong - she doesn't care much for the Christian Right political movement.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Jillian]

Meredith,

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

I am no expert but from everything I have learned both through personal experience and through reading others experiences you have to be happy with yourself and love who you are before you can love someone else. As for what the bible says it is all in how you interpret it. What other Christians say is what they want it to say and then they look no deeper. You have to remember in the end that the bible was written by man and not only that but it was written by the winners not by those that lost. If you look into the forum here there is a section on religion and it might help you to look into a few of the threads there it might help you understand better. As for my advice on your wife and he lack of approval maybe you could sit down together and do some research online there is many wonderful sites with loads of information sometimes lack of approval can come from not understanding and therefore she cant approve because she does not understand why you are who you are. To many people out there think transgender is something that can be "cured" they fail to understand that this is part of who we are and we did not choose to be this way this is something that is as much a part of us as much as the color of our hair or eyes or how big our nose is.

I hope I have not confused you more and I hope you enjoy the refreshments as you enjoy your stay here.

Jillian

[Guest Amanda L Richards]

Meredith, Meredith, Meredith,

You poor soul, I came from there too, and all I can say is that I feared everything including myself. This is too terrible a weight to bear on your own. .

Take heart now, because you are with people on this forum that will help you find your answers. There are all kinds of people here from all walks of life and experiences, and all of them are also searching for answers, (not excluding myself).

They are here to help you find your personal truth. You will find friendship, kindness, and love, they will help you find friendship, kindness and love for yourself. I know, because when I first came here, I had a problem with not accepting myself and self loathing. They made me feel welcome and loved untill I could get up and stand taller and look at myself with some respect.

These are the things that every human being has as a birth right to. It is the sunshine of emotions, that nurtures and gives life and meaning to ones life. Even vegetation, in the shade will grow towards the sunligt. Humans are not different.

The turmoil that you are facing is your heart telling you that you need to move towards the sunlight to grow. You have made that first step to stepping into that sunlight, that was introducing yourself here with people that you are like minded with.

I am feeling for you and I would like to offer you any help that I can from my experiences to give you a clearer look at the fact that the answers are there, sometimes someone elses opinion will click with you and you will see that you already know what you need to.

I hope that you will take a look around some more, You will be pleasantly surprised at what you will find here. If you decide to stay, then you will be pleasantly surprised at what you will find in yourself. NO KIDDING!

I hope you are feeling better since you logged on, you need to take a load off and just rest your mind and your heart, this is the best place to do it.

Amanda LR

[Guest Meredith]

Hey, Meredith! I like Star Wars too!

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Yippee some else that likes Star Wars! I'm not a lone.

[Sally]

Yippee some else that likes Star Wars! I'm not a lone.

You are certaiinly not alone. being one of the older ladies here, I waited in line to see the first Star Wars film (Now Episode 4) at the first showing of openning day - I missed my afternoon classes in grad school, but it was worth it.

Those cookies that Donna Jean and I like to offer to new members - I keep mine in an original R2D2 Cookie Jar from 1977.

Back then I was trying to just be a guy so I identified with Han Solo, now I watch and I notice how Cute he was and still is Harrison has aged pretty well.

So you see you aren't alone and I love movies, all kinds, but old comedies and b sci-fi are my favorites.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Irielle]

Hi Meredith! Welcome and it's good to meet you.

Ima toss a bomb in here and see what happens. Anyone or anything that tells you something is wrong with you has it backwards. The problem is with them.

That goes for religion, too. Dump it if it doesn't work for you. *BOOM* Religion is too often used as an excuse to justify prejudices we already hold. It is argument from authority. If a political authority figure told you something that you disagreed with you wouldn't have a problem with it, would you? You'd disagree and go your own way. Religious authority is no different but for some reason we give it undue respect and it doesn't deserve it. If it doesn't work for you, leave it behind.

Begin with your heart. What does your heart tell you? It might be hard to figure that out at first cuz we're taught to disregard ourselves. Pay no attention to authority, be it religious or whatever. Our hearts and our dreams and our emotions will ALWAYS tell us the truth, if we can turn off our heads and the noise of the world and just listen to ourselves.

You mention that crossdressing "feels sssoo right". That is your heart and that is your truth. Nothing will change that and nothing is wrong with you. Everyone here is on your side, you are one of us and we welcome you with open arms. Welcome to your world There is ALWAYS room for one more!

Have one of these delicious cookies!!

Irielle

[Guest Elizabeth K]

So I'm a Crossdressing/Transgender Christian who likes video games, movies, fashion, clothing, cars, fabrics, and star wars. And my name is Meredith.

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME

I LOVE your posting - when you summed it up at the end, especially. That's really hard to do for someone just getting into a support group, I mean to put it all together. Meridith - you are just like all us here! Well, I don't do video games anymore - but that's not important (grin).

Okay - let me try:

So I'm a former cross dressing / fully transitioning transgender Christian who likes computers, movies, buying clothes, antiques, family history, and Sci Fi (including Star Wars). And my name is Eliizabeth.

Hey - works for me - wow

I am also seroiusly senior, a mature madame, an old grey mare - whatever... and married... and with children out of the house... and did I mention terrified and thrilled with the journey I am on?

We look forward to your posting something on your interests. I especially have some opinions on the Christian religion topic and I am sorta spiritural myself. And we discuss anything - not just gender issues. Look around - lotta good people here. I always say it is rather G-rated (Luura says its really more G-13).

But our people are NOT judgemental - and our people are VERY supportive. When you have questions, somebody almost always has 'been there, done that."

You may also want to bring in your wife. She will have more questions than the law allows, most probably. My wife never exactly believed me when I told her about transgender and cross dressing. People on this site helped back me up.

So..... glad to make your aquaintence - and you ARE Meridith, probably - not just en femme but always. That's one of the first things I discovered in therapy, that I am already a woman , wow... always have been , always will be.

Lizzy

[Guest Meredith]

Thank you. Thank you all. It does help to know that there are some people here that are very similar to me. I'll be sure to hang around.

Takes cookie. Smiles a little grin.

[Guest Zabrak]

Yippee some else that likes Star Wars! I'm not a lone.

Of course not! You're never alone over here at Laura's.

I'd love to become friends some time so I'll be keeping a eye out for your posts.

Oh, and, may the force be with you.

[Guest mia 1]

Forget the condeming parts of Christianity. The bible has been misinterpreted by well meaning and also by evil people. God loves us all. The force is with you and the force is your personal God and the goodness that helps all of us get to love our neighbors as thy self.. that is what is important and so glad to have you as a new member enjoy us your new family and your own "at home" family,,,Love,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Mia.

[Guest Kelly Ann]

Hi Meredith...Welcome to Laura's...have you EVER met so many wonderful people? See there's lots of people that are similar or like or just plain care about you for who and what you are. Star Wars eh...cccccc...phooooo....cccccc...phoooooo...Sith or Jedi? If your Jedi careful of Zabrak as he has a perchant for the daaark siiiide. Just be careful with your light sabre, they work fine for re-heating coco. Smile more often it's contagious, Kelly Ann

[Guest Felicia Anne]

welcome meredith! my name is felicia, and don't worry. this place is incredible! i have only been here a short time, and the love and support is phenomenial.

i loved star was back in the day, and to be honest... i wanted to be vader's apprentice back in the day. i wanted to be a girl back then, but in truth, i thought at the time that being a bad girl would be more fun. more of the sith bad, not the springer bad. you know?

btw, one of my favorite t-shirts ever reads...

"come over to the dark side... we have cookies!!!"

[Sally]

btw, one of my favorite t-shirts ever reads...

"come over to the dark side... we have cookies!!!"

Wow, now that is a cool t-shirt!

Are you feeling at home yet, Meredith?

I told you you would meet a lot of nice people.

Glad to have you here.

Now where did Donna Jean leave those cookies?

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

"come over to the dark side... we have cookies!!!"

OMG OMG OMG....Most awesome T shirt!!!!

Sally...Don't worry the cookies are safe!!!

And, ok...confession..I'm a Star Wars nut, too...Geez, there's a lot of that going around!

Well, Meredith, what do ya think? Do you think you'll like it here with all of us?

I know that we can be a bunch of cut-ups sometimes, but once in a while that is what it takes to break the ice or help put someone at ease. Warm coco also helps as does the cookies.

Thanks for joining us here............

Now, I must get that T-shirt!!!

Donna Jean

[Guest Ashlee]

Hey Meredith,

I too started CDing around that age, I'm married, have 2 older kids. My wife doesn't approve at all of my need to CD... So, our stories are pretty similar.

What I have found is that just continuing to CD is OK. I didn't need to go any farther with it. I really enjoy the times I get to and I just keep it to myself.

I too am a Christian, I guess thats something thats between you and your God. Be open with Him about it and listen.

I completely agree with you, it really feels ssoooooooo right!

Lauras is a great place. It allows you to be who you want to be - no pressure, no guilt. Just a bunch of friends who understand what your going through. Enjoy the time you spend with us!

Peace,

Ashlee

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Merideth sweetheart - you posting hit some hearts here it seems - I can't remember seeing so many responses so quickly!

I did want to tell you to post at least five times or more so you can be eligable for the private messaging privileges. (PM)

Also - in a more personal response, as a Christian I often prayed to God for answers to why I was the way I was. I use the past tense there, the way I was, confused, sad and desparate to find resolution. One especially spiritural day I asked Him for resolution. He delivered me into an understanding and allowed me to become what I am today, MTF and in transition. I won't go into details except to say it was a moving and definative happening in my life which led me to therapy - and that is the beginning of my resolution. So when anyone asks me how I reconcile my transitioning with God, I smile and say He gave it to me.

Just a little thought there. Your posting seemed to show a little spiritural wrestling. Ask God again, and listen really hard, as He does care about us, everyone of us.

Elizabeth

[Guest Irielle]

Meredith -

You have met some wonderful people here and I hope you are doing well!

God doesn't make mistakes - so remember there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the way you are. Don't listen to anyone who tries to convince you otherwise. Listen to your heart - it's your direct line to your humanity and the humanity of others and therefore to the divine. Heaven resides in your heart and you have a good one.

When my head gets confused with the noise and conflict of the world I find a quiet place, away from the world, so I can get back to my heart. Then I can be centered and peaceful. If I am good to myself then I am good to others. I want so much for you to be at peace with your religion and let it be a source of support and comfort and not of conflict.

My earlier post might have been kind of harsh and if so I apologize. As a victim of relgious intolerance (as we all are here, I suspect) I get very angry when I run into it. It is so unfair and I get so mad that I cry. It does so much damage when people misuse authority. Our lives are too precious for that. We, being gender gifted (I'm borrowing that term from Elizabeth) know that especially well.

Have another cookie - I'll have one, too!!

Irielle

[Guest Meredith]

Thank you Ashlee,

Everyone has been wonderful. Hope you don't mind I added you as a friend.

Hey Meredith,

I too started CDing around that age, I'm married, have 2 older kids. My wife doesn't approve at all of my need to CD... So, our stories are pretty similar.

What I have found is that just continuing to CD is OK. I didn't need to go any farther with it. I really enjoy the times I get to and I just keep it to myself.

I too am a Christian, I guess thats something thats between you and your God. Be open with Him about it and listen.

I completely agree with you, it really feels ssoooooooo right!

Lauras is a great place. It allows you to be who you want to be - no pressure, no guilt. Just a bunch of friends who understand what your going through. Enjoy the time you spend with us!

Peace,

Ashlee

[Guest Meredith]

Elizabeth,

What a beautiful name. I'm trying to listen to God but, it is hard. I think that I've got it figured out, but my heart says another, so what is God and what isn't. Lets not bring what my wife thinks about it, OH.. I just remebered, my mother-in-law told my wife that if she wasn't a girl she would want to be a boy. And has wanted to be since she was a very small girl, I didn't know we had soooo much in common.

Meredith

Merideth sweetheart - you posting hit some hearts here it seems - I can't remember seeing so many responses so quickly!

I did want to tell you to post at least five times or more so you can be eligable for the private messaging privileges. (PM)

Also - in a more personal response, as a Christian I often prayed to God for answers to why I was the way I was. I use the past tense there, the way I was, confused, sad and desparate to find resolution. One especially spiritural day I asked Him for resolution. He delivered me into an understanding and allowed me to become what I am today, MTF and in transition. I won't go into details except to say it was a moving and definative happening in my life which led me to therapy - and that is the beginning of my resolution. So when anyone asks me how I reconcile my transitioning with God, I smile and say He gave it to me.

Just a little thought there. Your posting seemed to show a little spiritural wrestling. Ask God again, and listen really hard, as He does care about us, everyone of us.

Elizabeth

[Guest Meredith]

Irielle,

I know he doesn't make mistakes, the part that I'm having really really hard time with is, does my enviroment have anything to do with the way I'm? I guess that is a question for another forum though, maybe I'll ask it somewhere else.

Meredith

Meredith -

You have met some wonderful people here and I hope you are doing well!

God doesn't make mistakes - so remember there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the way you are. Don't listen to anyone who tries to convince you otherwise. Listen to your heart - it's your direct line to your humanity and the humanity of others and therefore to the divine. Heaven resides in your heart and you have a good one.

When my head gets confused with the noise and conflict of the world I find a quiet place, away from the world, so I can get back to my heart. Then I can be centered and peaceful. If I am good to myself then I am good to others. I want so much for you to be at peace with your religion and let it be a source of support and comfort and not of conflict.

My earlier post might have been kind of harsh and if so I apologize. As a victim of relgious intolerance (as we all are here, I suspect) I get very angry when I run into it. It is so unfair and I get so mad that I cry. It does so much damage when people misuse authority. Our lives are too precious for that. We, being gender gifted (I'm borrowing that term from Elizabeth) know that especially well.

Have another cookie - I'll have one, too!!

Irielle

[Sally]

Irielle,

I know he doesn't make mistakes, the part that I'm having really really hard time with is, does my enviroment have anything to do with the way I'm? I guess that is a question for another forum though, maybe I'll ask it somewhere else.

Meredith

All accounts of respected scientific research indicates that in our case Environment has little or nothing to do with it. It is a physical condition. If you had a club foot your environment isn't even considered and having surgery to correct it is just fine. We've got 'club feet of the head' an invisible condition that can be corrected but no one can see it so they want to ignore it or call it something else.

You are fine and wanting to correct this imbalance is normal and good - don't let uninformed people tell you otherwise. A lack of information is the breeding ground for all prejudice and bigotry.

Love ya and love yourself too,

Sally

[Guest Zabrak]

"come over to the dark side... we have cookies!!!"

I NEED this T-shirt! LOL

Also, I doubt our environment has anything to do with us.

You see my mother tried to rasie me as a female model and did everything she could to try to make me girly - didn't work. My bad therapist old me being trans had everything to do with the environment and that if I didn't have a strong dominant male figure as I grew up then it wasn't 'normal' I felt the way I did. The thing is my mother rasied me as a single mother for many years before she met my step father. Until then I had no brothers, no father and no male family member around to influence me.

So that THAT environment theory. Try to explain me.