Hello, I came out today.

[Guest Jenilya]

Well, hello everyone.
Today was rather eventful for me. I came out about my transgender feelings to my mother.
After I told her, she wanted to learn more. So I searched around and found some information for her, and in the process of doing so, I found Laura's website. So here I am. ^.^

I guess I can start with a little about me? heh

Well I am 23 and was born male, though I have always felt "wrong" with my gender. I spend a fair amount of my time online, when not working or going to class. I never really knew what transgender was, until someone explained it to me, then I realized I fit the bill.

For the past 3 years, I have lived a double life as female online. I consider my female life of Jen(ilya), to be my real indentity as it is who I really am on the inside. In the past 3 years of hiding this from everyone, I started to slip into depression. I began staying up late, drinking alcohol. Then it escalated to cutting myself. 2 nights ago, I got really over the edge, and hurt myself bad while drunk. It was then I realized I need to get this off my mind, and I need to speak with my mother.

Coming out was rather difficult, I stay at home with my mother while going to college. I been trying really hard to tell her for the past month or so, and today I finally just worked up the courage and spit it out. Her reaction was positive, and she was supportive. She even went as far as to offer financial support if I needed it to get surgeries done. She said she just wanted me to be happy, which just made me feel so much better. I am going to talk to a threapist next Tuesday, hopefully I can relay back some news on the results.

I am sorry for how disorganized my thoughts are, I am just pretty anxious right now I guess.
Well, I hope to be around, and I look forward to meeting all of you.
Thanks for reading.

[Guest -guest-]

I am sorry for how disorganized my thoughts are, I am just pretty anxious right now I guess.

That's understandable, considering what you've just accomplished.

Welcome to Laura's Playground! I look forward to knowing you better.

[Guest Ney'ite]

Hello Jenilya - welcome to Laura's.

Thank you for sharing your story . . . that was very nice to hear your mother so supportive, even offering financial support for procedures down the road. Keeping the lines of communication open goes a long way. Sharing, and listening, and understanding each others viewpoint.

We do ask all new members to take a peek at our Forum Rules at least once. Laura's is a very safe place to share as we monitor everything for the safety of all our members.

As you feel more comfortable, feel free to share, or comment on other's. Many here share a similar story to yours, and as I have mentioned many times before, we often will find ourselves looking to others for support and inspiration, yet sometimes do not realize that we ourselves may very well be an inspiration to others!

Please, enjoy your stay!

[Guest Guest_]

Hi Jenilya. Welcome, and glad to have you here. You mom is totatily awesome. Hugs to you. Amber L.

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Hi Jenilya, Welcome to Laura's Playground!

Thanks for sharing your story, I have to admit that I can definitely relate to much of it. I did much the same thing for a long time of living a double life, one as my self online and one as the lie I had to live for everyone else. Things bottled up for me until I had no other choice but to come out as well. I can say that life gets much easier when your virtual life is little different from the one you live in real life. I am very happy for you that you have been able to step through that first door, and it is definitely a very monumental moment.

Seeing a gender therapist is a great first step, and having your mothers support and continued love will make the challenging journey ahead so much easier then it would be otherwise. You have definitely come to the right place, I have found a great deal of strength and inspiration from the great people here and I think you will too.

Hugs,

Sarah

[Guest Jenilya]

Thanks for the warm welcomes everyone.
I will take a look over the rules Ney'ite, I am a pretty mellow and an easy going person, so I don't plan to be any trouble. I am just glad to find a nice little group of similar people, thanks!

[Charlize]

Hi dear and welcome. You are not alone! Many of us have gone through the difficulties of transition and the feeling that it was the right way to go. It helps to have the support of others but i would also recommend you look into a GT (gender therapist). Mine was a huge help in finding my path and comfort level. They also help in the simple way of knowing resources in your area. Many of the possible medical interventions require their recommendation.

That being said i'm so glad you have your mothers support. We have a forum here for parents which i'm sure might help her understand what you are feeling and the path you may travel.

Glad you are here. Please feel free to read and post. we help each other.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest otter-girl]

Hi.

Well done on your successful out. Your mom is great too. The gift of just wanting you to be happy cannot be surpassed.

Hugs

Rachel

[Guest Jenilya]

Thanks Charlie and Rachel. *hugs back*
Yes Charlie, I was lucky to find the psychologist I did. She is a specialist in gender indentity and transgender areas, and her office is only 4 miles down the road from me. I talked to her over the phone, and she seems like a very nice woman, so I got pretty lucky there. I get to talk to her Tuesday, though she said something might free up before then, she will let me know.
I will definitely suggest this forum to my mother, she seems very keen on wanting to learn about it, she is doing a lot of research. I am very thankful for her support.

[Guest NightRainRaven]

Welcome Jenilya!

I am happy to hear that your mother took the information well. I am currently in the limbo stage of building enough courage to have that talk

I wish you all the best for your future.

<3 Samantha

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Jeniya,
<<< hug >>>
Welcome to Laura's Playground.
Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.
The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.
Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.
One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.
We all look forward to seeing you.
vanna

[Guest Angel Heart]

Big, warm welcome, Jen!! I am glad your mother is supportive, and that you have found this site. I hope your transition starts falling into place

I am very sorry you had to slip into depression before being able to come out, but that is okay. You are out now and that's what matters

[gennee]

Hi Jenilya and welcome to Laura's. I'm very happy that things went well with your mom. Her support

will prove invaluable.